Just tell me if this is the right thing to do.

[Surfer Guy]

Okay...I'm a regular on here and I'm sure that you know about my relationship with my girlfriend. She has told me that she loves me and that I surpass any guy that she has ever been with etc. And you know that I feel the same way about her. Well she just got a new job and I realize that they are working her crazy hours. But lately it seems like she's not even making time to see me. I mean I haven't heard from her in like a week. It's crossed my mind that maybe I'm just being paranoid and I shouldn't worry about it but I just can't help it. I feel like I'm being abandoned. But I just came up with the idea of showing up at her house before she gets off work and waiting there for her with flowers and candy and a nice romantic card. Is that the right thing to do or should I wait and be patient about seeing her? I miss her so much and I am very in love with her!! Please respond as soon as you can!!!

[do it]

i say do it. if the only thing thats happenned to your relationship since you were both so obviously crazy about each other is her job than chances are she's just as torn up about it as you are. seeing you with a bouqet of flowers as the walks in the door could be amazing. if, on the other hand, you have some kind of real proof that she's losing interest maybe you should hold off. however, it sounds as though you're just getting slowed down by her current vocation and the surprise would do you both some good.

[Tony T]

Wow, you really learned psychology. You are going to REWARD her for neglecting the relationship by giving her flowers and candy??? That's like a company giving big bonuses to its employees for helping it lose money.

 

GEEZZEEEE....where did you get that idea?

 

Give her a card and let her know you love her and miss her. But you should also let her know soon that you feel she is neglecting the relationship and you don't feel good about that.

 

The reason we stay in relationships is because of the way the other person makes us feel. You couldn't possibly be feeling special or important these days if your lady is devoting all this time to her new job to the exclusion of you.

 

At the same time, you must convey some measure of understanding regarding her new job and her crazy hours. People who are in relationships look for support and encouragement from their partners.

 

If over time she doesn't make more time for you, then it will be pretty obvious what her priorities are and you can arrange your life accordingly.

 

But it would be wildly crazy to lavish kindness upon her for putting her job over you and neglecting her part in the relationship. Nutso!!!

[Surfer Guy]

Well...we went through something similiar to this situation before when she was taking classes for this new job of hers. But it didn't go on for this long. Plus, she told me that once she was done with her classes, we would definately see each other more. But it has been the total opposite of that. We are seeing each other less. I really do belive in my heart that she loves me and I'm not going to make her choose between me and her job because I know how hard she worked to get it. Plus, I'm not one to tell her what she can and can't do. I figure that if I show up with the flowers, then I will be able to tell by her response to that, wether or not it's work or her losing intrest in me. I'm just really confused right now. Oh, another thing, she told me when we first started seeing each other that she will be straight up with me about everything. She's followed through with that so far, but I'm still thinking, "Maybe she wants out." And it is really bringing me down. I know that it shouldn't, and I know that there are plenty of women out there but, she is so awsome! And with her I feel like I finally found someone just as screwed up as I am (sarcasm of course)!!! I don't know, maybe I am being paranoid. That's what it was last time!