RebeccaR Posted May 16, 2021 Share Posted May 16, 2021 He sounds deeply dysfunctional. I know you don’t care about your own happiness but want only to do what’s best for your children, but have you considered that a clean divorce and a happy mother would be healthier for them in the long run? His desire to live in an intact family (while otherwise undermining the family) shouldn’t factor into your decision. You guys never had a loving relationship and I don’t think you ever can. Your son has his sibling now. Cut your losses? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaurenEliz Posted May 16, 2021 Author Share Posted May 16, 2021 4 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: He sounds deeply dysfunctional. I know you don’t care about your own happiness but want only to do what’s best for your children, but have you considered that a clean divorce and a happy mother would be healthier for them in the long run? His desire to live in an intact family (while otherwise undermining the family) shouldn’t factor into your decision. You guys never had a loving relationship and I don’t think you ever can. Your son has his sibling now. Cut your losses? I just don’t know what to do. You really, truely think he is going to contact her again? Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted May 16, 2021 Share Posted May 16, 2021 7 minutes ago, LaurenEliz said: You really, truely think he is going to contact her again? Only he can answer that question for you Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted May 16, 2021 Share Posted May 16, 2021 I don’t know how you can live watching him like a hawk for the rest of your life 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaurenEliz Posted May 16, 2021 Author Share Posted May 16, 2021 2 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: I don’t know how you can live watching him like a hawk for the rest of your life Because it’s not just about me and him I’ve explained this to people on here. And yes only he can ask it but right now his words don’t count for s*** so I’m asking on here Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted May 16, 2021 Share Posted May 16, 2021 1 minute ago, LaurenEliz said: Because it’s not just about me and him I’ve explained this to people on here Then the answer is - stop caring. Stay married and stop expecting him to respect your wishes. Just - stay married. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 17, 2021 Share Posted May 17, 2021 On 5/16/2021 at 6:19 PM, RebeccaR said: Then the answer is - stop caring. Stay married and stop expecting him to respect your wishes. Just - stay married. Yes, OP, if you insist on staying then understand that you essentially have a one-sided open marriage. Might as well get used to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 17, 2021 Share Posted May 17, 2021 On 5/16/2021 at 12:05 PM, LaurenEliz said: You really, truely think he is going to contact her again? Absolutely they are still having an affair. He may lie low to get you off the scent for a while, but he's told you "he doesn't want to hurt her feelings", so he cares about her so much so that he admitted this to you. He simply thinks this is easier/cheaper than divorce, because you are still wondering how his phone updates work. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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