Syd8 Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 I wanted to ask all the men out there who have been the OM in an affair. After it ended were you ever tempted to expose the affair and tell the woman's husband about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Stupidkupid Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 5 hours ago, Syd8 said: I wanted to ask all the men out there who have been the OM in an affair. After it ended were you ever tempted to expose the affair and tell the woman's husband about it? You'll find many more OWs here, I think, thank OMs. I think most Affair Partners have been tenped to expose ab affair at some point but its often not for good reaaons. Is this the position you are in right now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
denwickdroylsden Posted May 2, 2021 Share Posted May 2, 2021 No, I never wanted to blow up my AP's life. For her it was an exit A anyway. It was my life that got blown up. Link to post Share on other sites
Stupidkupid Posted May 2, 2021 Share Posted May 2, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, denwickdroylsden said: No, I never wanted to blow up my AP's life. For her it was an exit A anyway. It was my life that got blown up. So are you also a wandering spouse in this scenario? Both of you married. Difficult for everyone when it all explodes. What happened? Edited May 2, 2021 by Stupidkupid Link to post Share on other sites
Author Syd8 Posted May 2, 2021 Author Share Posted May 2, 2021 I just feel at this point there's nothing to lose in me exposing the affair to her husband. I guess it's the old jilted lover thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted May 2, 2021 Share Posted May 2, 2021 What would be your reason for telling the MM husband? Most of the time it's done out of revenge, spite or anger. It also shows one is of low character. High value individual would realize their mistake in getting involved with a married person, and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Syd8 Posted May 2, 2021 Author Share Posted May 2, 2021 9 hours ago, Stupidkupid said: So are you also a wandering spouse in this scenario? Both of you married. Difficult for everyone when it all explodes. What happened? No. I was single during the affair. It's a long story. Promises and plans were made but never came through. Typical affair stuff I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Snakesalive Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 12 hours ago, Syd8 said: No. I was single during the affair. It's a long story. Promises and plans were made but never came through. Typical affair stuff I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Snakesalive Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 12 hours ago, Syd8 said: No. I was single during the affair. It's a long story. Promises and plans were made but never came through. Typical affair stuff I guess. The disappointment really sucks it’s hard when All the plans and promises don’t come to fruition -I’m sure if you were to tell her husband he would be able to relate to that too -he probably had his own hopes and plans for the future too . instead of focusing on revenge ( which I do totally get) id put your energy into healing yourself and make plans for a new future that doesn’t involve sneaking around and a fantasy life . Not sure when your affair ended but if it’s recent I’d say that’s maybe why you’re consider ing this action -it’s knee jerk . Give it time you may feel very differently -if you tell now you may regret you did in the long term . Link to post Share on other sites
Negotaurus Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 (edited) 18 hours ago, Luna66star said: What would be your reason for telling the MM husband? Most of the time it's done out of revenge, spite or anger. It also shows one is of low character. High value individual would realize their mistake in getting involved with a married person, and move on. I think the "don't get involved" part is a ship that has already sailed. Many come here, considering whether or not they should tell the betrayed spouse. The common answer here is "You're doing it for selfish reasons, here are other selfish reasons for not doing it". Very ironic. What about the betrayed spouse then? People seem to forget about them. Shouldn't they be granted the "privilege" of deciding for themselves? Edited May 3, 2021 by Negotaurus 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stupidkupid Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 23 hours ago, Syd8 said: I just feel at this point there's nothing to lose in me exposing the affair to her husband. I guess it's the old jilted lover thing. Well... he could react very badly. He could assault her. You. I think whether you should blow it open or not is no one elses decision as, I do believe the BS deserves to know BUT its probably not the OM/OWs job to tell. Also, long after I ended my affair, I was contacted but the MMs wife (ex wife) and it was not a lot of fun for anyone. To the point where i had to compose a formal cease and desist. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Syd8 Posted May 3, 2021 Author Share Posted May 3, 2021 2 hours ago, Stupidkupid said: Well... he could react very badly. He could assault her. You. I think whether you should blow it open or not is no one elses decision as, I do believe the BS deserves to know BUT its probably not the OM/OWs job to tell. Also, long after I ended my affair, I was contacted but the MMs wife (ex wife) and it was not a lot of fun for anyone. To the point where i had to compose a formal cease and desist. None of that worries me because they live a few states away. I highly doubt he would assault her. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts