RoseRae Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 I found out last month My fiance has been messaging women for over a year on social media to meet up for sex and receiving nudes. We're getting married in 3 months. He swears he never met any of them and doesn't know why he did it. I am so full of resentment and I domt know what to do. Please please help. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 (edited) I would be very grateful to have this information before I married the man. As painful as it must be for you, there is absolutely no way I would marry this man. As Maya Angelou said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” His words would mean nothing to me. When there is a discrepancy between words and actions, believe the actions. This is not a man you should ever trust. I’m so very sorry. Edited May 1, 2021 by BaileyB 8 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 My advice cancel the wedding asap. If he can do this whilst he is supposedly loved up, what is he capable of a few years down the line? Too many forgive cheating fiancés to find he is cheating again but this time there is a toddler and another on the way... Be glad you found out now, before you make the huge mistake of marrying him... 7 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 My mind would be going to loss or cost involved with canceling and quickly calculating how much would be involved/forfeited and also how quickly it can be done or what that would entail. It would not be with going through with the wedding. Lean on your family for support if your family is involved in the wedding. You're likely worried about disappointing many people. Keep in mind this is your future you're considering for one day of disappointed guests. If you're worried about fielding questions, maintain your privacy and let your party know that you apologize for the inconvenience but the wedding is cancelled. You do not need to overexplain or over-involve anyone with the details especially extended family or friends. The ones who love and understand you will be confused but they will not stop loving you or supporting you. Stay strong. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HappilyMarried Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 Sorry @RoseRaebut ass others have said thank goodness you found out before getting married. First without a doubt cancel the wedding. Next, you have two choices completely walk away or if you want to try and work things out and attempt to be able to trust him again lay out what you would require for that to happen. I personally from a male's perspective think if he is doing this type of thing while just dating(engaged) he will most likely cheat once you are married and dealing with pressures and issues of day to day life (work, kids, mortage, etc.) RUN! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stupidkupid Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 1 hour ago, RoseRae said: I found out last month My fiance has been messaging women for over a year on social media to meet up for sex and receiving nudes. We're getting married in 3 months. He swears he never met any of them and doesn't know why he did it. I am so full of resentment and I domt know what to do. Please please help. I'm sorry he did this to you but also pleased you found out in advance of the wedding. As others have said, imagine how he'll behave once the routine monotany of marriage sets in and you remove your attention from him to the children you might have. Don't marry him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 Don't marry him. Get an STD test. Just because he says he hasn't met up with any of them, doesn't make it true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 Echoing several prior posters, while no doubt this hurts right now, from a LT perspective it's blessing in disguise in the sense that you can walk away now before marriage "entanglements" and legal restrictions on separating (in some areas) kick in. For whatever reason, "just you" isn't enough for him right now and (while he's unlikely IMO to see it this way) it's probably better for him as well that you separate, so he can play the field, etc., since that's clearly his intent. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted May 4, 2021 Share Posted May 4, 2021 Please don't marry this man. He's a liar and a cheater, and you CANNOT trust him when he says he never met them in person. FWIW, it doesn't actually matter if he met them or not. Your fiance is not the kind of man you want to tie yourself to. He is an admitted liar and cheater. It's going to be difficult, but you need to walk away from him. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2021 Share Posted May 4, 2021 Another vote for at least postpone. This man is not ready for the commitment of marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted May 5, 2021 Share Posted May 5, 2021 On 5/1/2021 at 10:30 AM, RoseRae said: I found out last month My fiance has been messaging women for over a year on social media to meet up for sex and receiving nudes. We're getting married in 3 months. He swears he never met any of them and doesn't know why he did it. I am so full of resentment and I domt know what to do. Please please help. DO NOT MARRY HIM! Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted May 5, 2021 Share Posted May 5, 2021 On 5/1/2021 at 10:40 PM, BaileyB said: When there is a discrepancy between words and actions, believe the actions. ^^^^^^ VERY TRUE^^^^^ Actions are hard to fake, for any length of time. Believe the actions... Talk is cheap and lies are easily told... He has clearly shown you with his actions what his personality is like. All good if it's an open relationship/marriage you are after... And the other one: "Sharing is caring...." Does that work for husbands too??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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