Why this married man don't feel lust for me?

[donnaLV]

Hello..
My English is not perfect,so who is able to read it correctly and give me opinion why this married man didn't felt any lust towards me...

I said lust...as from all what i've read here OW's talks of "their" MM as men who are very,very passionate about them.. so honestly i felt sexually undesirable when reading their stories and comparing it with this MM

When i met him i felt sexually attracted to him,is not about looks,but his vibe..i mean he is funny,i like his jokes,but 99% of my houghts about us are passionate..

We had some dates, but slept only 5 times,then it became distance,he had to move, and we stayed in touch..then i lost patience many times and was nasty alot to him,as he asked me to be exclusive to him,yet was lazy to come and see me.. 

I obviously can't travel to him,as he is married. I didn't knew he is married at first,he confessed after he left my area.. but as i really liked our intimacy (never felt that sexual passion before) i wished to repeat and assumed it will last at least for awhile..

During our many online talks,i asked him about his ex-es..he confessed he is still stuck on ex years ago,she was married herself..(i'am single)
He said he loved her and love still her,and it was biggest connection he felt.. 

I didn't felt angry,not just because that he is married so i know it would be foolosh to get emotionally involved, but he admitted he likes more emotional over sexual,so i couldn't relate,as i prefer more intimacy over emotional..

Of course he did said they had passionate intimacy,but more lovemaking,while we had more rough,raw,wild intimacy, that i prefer anyway

We started to argue most of the time when i pushed him to let me know if he is seeing someone else,because he would cancel,or prolong next meet,then cancel,and he did told me one time in anger he is excited to meet new exciting woman after me..but never leting me go and would always tell me he want me and all this,and we would make it,so i would give in just to experience that passion again

He wrongly assumed i asked because of possesiveness.. and i asked to kind of have relief at least real reason for his disinterest clearly..
I mean one day he text happily to me,and say he want this to work, next day he is moody and says he want to end,and its like that all the time

I asked of other women often,simple as he confessed me he "dated" other women before me,he did distance with them as well etc.. so it was logical in my mind he found another woman..and that he is not sexually turned on by me enough

he said my attitude and questions of other women made him lost libido,yet he admited me he argued heavly with woman he was sexually addicted to in past and they would have sex after..
So is why i asked him and was rude,as it makes no sense he claims he wanted me ,but then change mind often,why drama ruined it only in my case yet he had drama with others too? 

Even here i read all is drama and fights often,yet they still continue as passion is stronger

So i wanted to know answer on 2 things, as clearly he wasn't happy to give me his real answer..

I would actually to prefer to hear those answers from married men, as clearly this man is confusing...

1. why he had a problem to let me damn know another woman is in picture? Even when i reassured the heck out of him that im fine with it,just that he admit me i wasn't doing it for him sexually clearly..because why deny if i reassure him and even told him we are ending it

I never wanted from him more,never wanted to listen of his familly talks,told him that, yet he talked by himself..

My wish was that we will spent most of our times in bed in hotel for days,yet he was lazy to come and see me,but claimed he wanted some fun,passion as well.. so what excatly went wrong? He already had distance with ex-es so is not excuse..

Is really confusing all..
We chatted all the time,i would ask him all the time why he is not caming if he said he feels passion for me,how he enjoyed sex very much,how i turn him on and wanted that fun?

2. Is it possible married man will turn down woman even if i was willing to overome it,simple as i wanted intimacy as well? So he knew it all...but why he pretended he enjoyed sex,and how he can't weit to see me?

3. By all this what i texted,do you think he didn't find me sexually desirable but lied he was enjoying intimacy and wanting me?  (and is main one actually) 

 

 

Edited May 2, 2021 by Jollaanda

[elaine567]

2 hours ago, Jollaanda said:

he admitted he likes more emotional over sexual,so i couldn't relate,as i prefer more intimacy over emotional..
Of course he did said they had passionate intimacy,but more lovemaking,while we had more rough,raw,wild intimacy, that i prefer anyway

You answered your own question.
What you like and what her likes are not the same.

He is also still in love with his ex.
You are not the  centre of his world, he can obviously take you or leave you.
The drama you bring into his life is not good drama that can increase passion, it is bad drama that kills it dead. 
You are not the type of OW he wants, simple..

Time for you to find another man to put your energy into.

[denwickdroylsden]

Maybe after 5 times the newness, the novelty wore off for him. I know it's been that way for me. Good luck.

[d0nnivain]

9 hours ago, Jollaanda said:

i lost patience many times and was nasty alot to him,as he asked me to be exclusive to him,yet was lazy to come and see me.. 

MM want easy & sexy.  If he wanted to be nagged he'd go home.  That is why he doesn't lust you or chase after you.  In his mind you are just like his wife. 

You may not have known he was married when you two started but once you found out that was your cue to be done.  He's now moved & has a new GF/OW.  He's not giving you anything you want.  Be done .  

Edited May 2, 2021 by d0nnivain

[BaileyB]

Is this really who you want to be? The woman who chases a married man when his behavior is clearly showing you, he’s not interested?

[ExpatInItaly]

Because he wants sex with no drama or expectations attached. 

 

[donnaLV]

Thank you people alot.  I can't quote you all,so i liked each comment,i've read it and agree..

Will just add:
I'am not proud of myself being involved with him..
I saw it definitely as more sexual,so when i found out too late , i was open to experience it at least one more time..

I realized i imagined in my head experience with him was "most passionate".. i see now it wasn't,but that i builded it in my head,more like parcipitation..as it happned only 5 times..and it wasn't that long anyway..
And that my image of "most passionate"..yup,it was because of distance,so i thought more of it.

When i think in reality,it wasn't that perfect anyway,i was single longer so thats why..
After one was break at one time,i met and slept with my short term ex boyfriend after him,and was even hotter.

but this one stuck in my head only because of rare mets,distance so i builded some passionate fantasy that wasn't there,the more i think of it

I did noticed he is too emotional,less interested in sex then me,so it was clearly mismatch,as i prefer a man to match my passionate side.

 He wanted for example to visit me and travel with him,i imagined our days will be dinners and hot intimacy at night.. lol....and not because im sexually obsessed,but i didn't really felt emotionaly invested in him.. his talks was fun,but sometimes boring, so i just didn't feel anything to him beyond sexual..

I only don't agree i was too drama,he was more then me,would change mind about us basically each second day last weeks,is moody generally,and so many more examples that would take me long to text.
So i ended it with him today for good

No regrets,plus i met a single guy im dating who seems promissing in all ways..

All i wanted on this forum,just to be sure why he wasn't interested,as from what i read sexual passionate stuff is main thing in most affairs.

All your replies helped me..it makes sense.. 
And yes,i'm happy i ended it with him,as i did started to feel quilt more and more,as he was talking of familly,kids too often..so it made me feel shitty for thing i did.

That same and even better passion i had,and can have with single man...so im happy to be out of this.. 
It messed me a bit..quilt that was mixed with desire at same time..is ugly place to be in..is better if he found new one,i don't want to be part of it anymore

Thank you again all 

Edited May 2, 2021 by Jollaanda