rose27 Posted May 5, 2021 Share Posted May 5, 2021 A few months ago, I stopped speaking to a very toxic guy who seems to fit the traits of a narcissist. We had this situationship for a year which I couldn’t seem to get myself out of due to all of his empty promises, but one day I introduced boundaries and exposed him for who he truly was which he didn’t appreciate, so he cut contact with me. I realised it was best that it happened, but it was still hard to let go. We have mutual friends, and through those friends I’ve discovered he is now seeing a girl and I’ve naturally been curious enough to find out they’re going on dates together. I know it’s early days and we did the same thing in the beginning, but I can’t seem to stop questioning myself, wondering why I wasn’t good enough. She is gorgeous so I’m also comparing which I know is unhealthy. I always seem to feel like I’m the placeholder with guys, so I’m trying to break that cycle because it’s really breaking my heart and my self-esteem is suffering. Any advice on dealing with this would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 5, 2021 Share Posted May 5, 2021 (edited) Listen to an old 80s tune called I Can't Get Over You Getting Over Me. Don't let some guy get you down on yourself. Think about all the good things that make you you & that make you unique. Do something fun for yourself. Edited May 5, 2021 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose27 Posted May 6, 2021 Author Share Posted May 6, 2021 21 hours ago, d0nnivain said: Listen to an old 80s tune called I Can't Get Over You Getting Over Me. Don't let some guy get you down on yourself. Think about all the good things that make you you & that make you unique. Do something fun for yourself. Sounds like the song for me right now! I think it’s time to focus on myself for sure Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 6, 2021 Share Posted May 6, 2021 It's easy to focus on the things you don't have and feel down about it especially when comparing others. Give social media and group chats a rest. If it's unpleasant hearing about so and so or you just want a break from it, turn off the notifications and check out for awhile. Do the opposite of focusing on what you don't have - try being thankful for the things and people you do have in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted May 6, 2021 Share Posted May 6, 2021 On 5/5/2021 at 7:17 AM, rose27 said: Any advice on dealing with this would be appreciated. Go out... Meet new people... Whenever I got dumped, the first thing I did was shower and go out. The dent in my couch is big enough, so I'm not going to sit home and let my thoughts spin around in my head. I would always treat myself to a couple pints of Guinness and a thick steak at my local pub/watering hole, then start seeking out her replacement. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 I recommend checking out Natalie Lue. She has a blog and a few books. Her blog is called Baggage Reclaim. There is a ton on there about break ups and self-esteem. It's going to be hard to date and attract a good person until you can break the cycle of beating yourself up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 (edited) On 5/18/2021 at 1:28 PM, Miss Peach said: I recommend checking out Natalie Lue. She has a blog and a few books. Her blog is called Baggage Reclaim.... I second this advice. I've read a ton of stuff by Natalie Lue also, learned A LOT. Her advice is not only how to extricate yourself from toxic relationships, but about raising self-esteem and how to choose the "right" man (for you) to begin with. Edited May 21, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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