How should I take all these remarks from guys???

[mini696]

The only advise I can offer is to stop over analysing these guys, take some initiative (sic) and ask them out to do some one-on-one things.

 

If you like him, and he likes you (it does sound like all these guys have some form of interest, then show some back.

 

Mick

[elijahBailey]

Whoa! slow down, speed. You sound like you're doing skyjumping for the first time

 

I've to agree with Mini, you're analyzing the whole situation waaaaay too much. Take a deep breath here sweets. <Let's do dinner next week> is just what it is...... let's go out together, buy some chow and stuff it down us. Nothing more. If you'd just known him then he's askin' ya out on a date. But you guys have known each other since prehistoric times, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

 

Listen, uhm, at the risk of being silly...... DO you know how to hit on a guy? :lmao: I know the answer should be yes since you've kissed a few, but you sound a little clueless here. So, I'm gonna ask you to just-hit-on-him. Man! ya gotta be blantant here. He ain't stickin' around forever ya know? I ain't sayin' flash him, but ya know what I mean Body contact, long glances, whatever. Point is.... call him out. If he ain't interested, whatever, it's his loss

 

I know yer freakin' out about being a retard. But, tell ya what, girls get rejected too, but so what? I'm sure people have told you that you're cute, so have some confidence there. Relax, this is all pretty fun stuff. By the time you realize it, you'd be stuck in a committed relationship wishing you hadn't rushed in

[elijahBailey]

I was just thinkin' he might be asking you out on a date. If so, ask what your half is at the end of dinner. If he says he'll pick up the bill, let him. No biggie here. Nothing to feel awkward about. When you leave the diner, give him a peck on the cheek and wrap your arm around his

[justagirl1121]

ok i know HOW to hit on a guy but yet i dont....i mean i know what kind of things to do....i just feel too awkward to do it.......yea i know what you're gonna say! get some confidence!

 

my problem is i am really anxious and excited but at the same time thinking its too good to be true. When he asked me i said yes, and the next night i txt messaged him again and said 'how's friday?" that was sunday evening and its tuesday night, shouldnt' he call by now!? he said 'this week' so the week is running out, esp with thur being thanksgiving nad tomorrow being wedneday....obviously it wont happen until AT LEAST friday....he's not usually one to really ignore something.......the only reason i wonder if it is maybe a date or maybe not officially one but....see god i just dont knooooowwwwww.......it makes sense what u said about it being a date if i'd just known him but the thing is this is suddenly out of the blue....

 

i wonder if maybe i made him a little jealous when we were out with my other friends. he was sitting at the one table and april was between us and my friend jon was on the other side and jon is goofy....i guess u could call what he was doing flirting but it wasnt. pushing the drink glass back and forth towards me, then he threw and ice cube at me and it went down my shirt, then he kept blowing thru the end of his straw at us, then trying to snap the gumband on my wrist, things like that....hey its all in good fun but he's never really been aroudn my friends.

 

i know he wouldnt call me like he does or ask me to grab dinner if he didnt want to spend time with me but with allt he flirting and stuff at work i cant help but wonder what it is......and why he isnt just texting back or something...like 'hey friday will work or how about saturday?" u know...i know im rambling, i just dont know what to do wiht myself, but i cant just wait by the phone b/c that's not right either...but i still cant help but think about it...and i dont think i should call him either....it's like what if i think of it as just a friends thing and he's not but what im im thinking of it as a date but he's not......u know...i dont want to screw this up....

 

does his behavior seem typical of a guy? but a text doesnt take much time to send.....or could he have changed his mind? I mean he couldnt have done it out of drunkeness, we were all ok to drive home.....ACK!!!!

 

i know im an insane girl i wish i werent!

[mini696]

He could be having the exact same problems you are having.

 

Stop thinking this needs to happen RIGHT NOW, and just go with the flow. I know its easy to say, but as long as he knows how you feel, then the ball is in his court.

 

His behaviour is not like mine (and I'm a guy), I usually lose a girl from being too eager to see her.

 

*Do you think I could have put any more cliches in there?*

[elijahBailey]

He's jealous. He's waiting for a second text message from you. You'd better text him back. This guy's a retard, not you

 

Text him back again and say 'hey thanks for not replying to my text msg :-) I just love being made an idiot '.

 

That'll even things out.

 

ok i know HOW to hit on a guy but yet i dont

No you don't

 

yea i know what you're gonna say! get some confidence!

You're his prize. Not the other way round. Tell yourself that.

 

He's an idiot. Hasn't he done any dating before? Hit on him. Seriously.

 

And I agree with what Mini said.

[justagirl1121]

Here I am again. I guess I have no life. Whatever.

 

I'm wary of sending more texts and looking clingy or pushy. Like I wasn't pushy before and now he's asked and i'm all like "whatrwedoin' whatrwedoin'" you know, he might be like god, what did i do?

 

Anyway, there's this girl we used to temp with who he does not like at all for many reasons. Anyway, I don't really talk to her but she called me twice today. So, she doesn't talk to anyone from our temp job so I felt it safe to talk to her about this, so I gave her the short version of wha'ts happened since saturday and she's like "he's got a thing for you" and "i thought he liked you from day one" i was like HUH. I asked "what do you mean?" "Oh, i could tell, just all the things he used to do." And i was like "what things????" and she said, the flirting and trying to get you to talk to him and things." I was like ooooooooooooh kay i did NOT realize any of that. She said its hard when you're the one involved and my friend nikki was like that's b/c you weren't looking for it or interested at that time.

 

So that was a plus for me. I told nikki what heather said and she was like I TOLD YOU! but still.......he has NOT called back. It's like whoever you are, if u make plans, call back and confirm! Don't wait 5 days and counting! Um.....I think i'll text him tomorrow and ask if he had a good thanksgiving.

 

It gives me good hope but at the same time, the no contact thing is kinda confusing. He could at least take 5 sec to send a text saying "i'll catch up with you in a few days and let you know" u know....

 

so here i am with more promising info yet still a dead end. And still nto sure if this is going to be a date or not.

[elijahBailey]

Anyway, there's this girl we used to temp with who he does not like at all for many reasons. Anyway, I don't really talk to her but she called me twice today. So, she doesn't talk to anyone from our temp job so I felt it safe to talk to her about this, so I gave her the short version of wha'ts happened since saturday and she's like "he's got a thing for you" and "i thought he liked you from day one" i was like HUH. I asked "what do you mean?" "Oh, i could tell, just all the things he used to do." And i was like "what things????" and she said, the flirting and trying to get you to talk to him and things." I was like ooooooooooooh kay i did NOT realize any of that. She said its hard when you're the one involved and my friend nikki was like that's b/c you weren't looking for it or interested at that time.

 

See!

 

So that was a plus for me. I told nikki what heather said and she was like I TOLD YOU!

 

I TOLD YOU!

 

so here i am with more promising info yet still a dead end. And still nto sure if this is going to be a date or not.

 

Girl, yer still not getting it. Read my earlier post. He needs that 2nd text. This guy is one dumbass. Go get him

[justagirl1121]

I did text him! I asked "how was your turkey day?" and I haven't gotten anything back!! I didn't say "Happy Tday.." I asked a question that should elicit a response!

 

Should I call later and ask what gives? Why'd you ignore me all week. It's not nice to do to someone, whether its him or someone else. It hurts my feelings. If we do get somewhere I don't want to be like "i'm free" or he'll think I'm at his service but I don't want to cancel out or i really won't get anywhere. It just doesn't make sense that I got this far now and still nothing. In fact i feel worse than before just b/c of this. I really thought i'd be having dinner with him this week.

[elijahBailey]

you should've texted him about the dinner. Sounds like he's playing....

 

You could...

1. text him a 3rd time and say "thanks for blowing me off"

2. ignore him for a week. He'll probably call

3. Call him.

 

Since...

(2) will drive you insane.

(1) will drive you insane, too, if he ignores you again.

 

I would go for (3). Just find out what's up.

 

Does he always reply you immediately before all this? If so, he's trying to get you to go after him. You got nothing to lose.

 

Also, you know that it just does not make sense if he's NOT interested. If someone is NOT interested, he'll still text and give crap excuses. To me, he's lame and he's trying to get into your mind. Like I said, you've got nothing to lose. If he fails this shyt test, he's the loser.

[justagirl1121]

I called. Got his voicemail. Left a message. That was just after 6. He left me a message around 11 last night that I got this morning that said "Sorry I never called you back. I am out of town."

 

End of story. He wasn't texting Shonna either so it's not just me. But I guess the balls in his court or something. I told Nikki he finally got back to me and she was like "i told you he likes you!" but I'm not sure how that really tells me anything. Just because you're out of town is NOT an excuse not to send a text.

 

So I guess we'll see if he calls me tomorrow or something and if he volunteers a raincheck...

[mini696]

You are being too nice... You need to tell him you are upset about him blowing you off... Being out of town is NOT an excuse.

 

Try some of the ones suggested above.

"thanks for blowing me off"

'hey thanks for not replying to my text msg :-)'

[elijahBailey]

Relax. No damage done so far....

 

The whole point here is to make sure this dumbass knows your intentions because you were not exactly clear about your intentions before. You need to quit worrying about looking stupid. Lemme tell ya somethin'.... if he doesn't follow thru, he's one big-time loser. We'll just wait and see how dumb he is. Some guys are smart and all, but when it comes down to girls, they are freakin' clueless.

 

I called. Got his voicemail. Left a message. That was just after 6. He left me a message around 11 last night that I got this morning that said "Sorry I never called you back. I am out of town."

 

What was the message you left him?

 

Lay off of him for now. When he calls, just be coy, but not pissed. If he asks you whether yer pissed he blew you off, just say 'no', followed by silence. Then, change the subject.

 

So far, you're just tellin' him where you stand. At this point of time, you're not being needy, you're not being clingy and neither are you desperate. you're just telling him you've got more guts than him. But don't call back if he doesn't.

 

Oftentimes guys just need to feel they're in control. It doesn't matter that they're not, they just need to feel that they are. ( I'm one such dude ) I never wanna look stupid in front of women, because if I do, the game's off. I know, I know ......... but I guess boys will be boys

[justagirl1121]

Well, I thought about what I could leave him in a voicemail then figured if I tried to, I'd screw up on the voicemail, so I just said "hey scott its me, give me a call back when you get a chance. bye." i didnt feel like getting into it, that's when he sent me the txt.

 

I mean how long could he be out of town? I figure i know he went to Harrisburg but he does have a job here...how can he get that much time off? IT's not like he's worked htere that long.

 

Anyway, I figured when he calls i'll give him a hard time. be like well well well hes alive. then be like "i'm glad you called...........i was in the midst of arranging your funeral....it was going to be one damn nice funeral too. but since you're a live i guess i can spend that 100 bucks on somethign else...."

 

im gonna ask him why he never got back to me. why'd he ask me for dinner then? i mean what the hell? he owes me now. i wont call him but if he doesnt call me, im gonna txt him something on like wed night or thur.

 

its insane, we dont normally go this long with out talking anyway. im just scared i guess. cause as much as i like him i am horrible at this stuff.

[elijahBailey]

"i'm glad you called...........i was in the midst of arranging your funeral....it was going to be one damn nice funeral too. but since you're a live i guess i can spend that 100 bucks on somethign else...."

 

man! I knew you had it in you! That's pretty original :lmao: You gotta tell him that. Seriously!!.....

 

Be coy, but don't sound desperate or give him the impression that you can't live without him. Make sure he gets the feeling that you'll do just fine without him.

 

its insane, we dont normally go this long with out talking anyway. im just scared i guess.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if he's scared too

[justagirl1121]

Hello, I figured I'd update.

 

I talked to Shonna quite a bit about this, considering she was quite perturbed that he wasn't getting back to her either, not that she cared quite as much b/c she was just sending him txts making fun of him. I didn't tell her i liked him but she might have figured that out. She did make a comment "would you date him?" and I said.....maybe.... Shonna works with people that we both temped with so I don't really want her gossiping to the people we worked with and embarrassing us, etc...but anyway he's been the topic of a lot of our convos. But she was texting him like "hi, this is scott, i take a year to respond 2 people." and he replied "i do not take a year to respond ."

 

I guess last night they were sending a few texts back and forth. And I told her i had txted him and i said "Just checking to see if you are still alive or if i should arrange for your funeral. So what about that dinner or did you change your mind?"

 

So I talked to Shonna for a while earlier tonite and she was like he should call you tonight. Or at least by tomorrow. Otherwise he has no respect for your friendship and I'd just leave him alone then" We were discussing his behavior and stuff like that for a while.

 

So anyway then like 15 min later, my phone rings, and i changed his ring tone to a different one, kind of like so if my phone rang the normal ring i wouldnt get too worked up over it being him and then being disappointed that it wasnt, so when it rang with his ring, i knew it right then and there, and he did call.

 

I did do the whole funeral thing with him and he laughed. When i was like what the deal? he was like i was busy, which is a lame excuse. Shonna says she thinks he thinks he needs to seem like he is constantly busy or something, like with his poker nights....so anyway i sorta gave him a hard time and stuff and he was like i think of txt messages like email. sometimes i dont respond for quite a while. blah blah"

 

so we talked about work and other random things. i talked to him for like 65 minutes. i made sure i ended the call. but at the end i was like but so what about that dinner? and he wa slike oh yeah or something, what about next week? so i was like WHEN? and he was like oh calm down. what u afraid i wont come. i was like YEAH. he was like where do you want to go? we the vicinity down just not the exact place. he made some comment about some pizza place which could either be cici's pizza which i hope its not or i heard there's a new place called Uno's...or quaker steak...um i am not sure about the lube just b/c wings can be messy....

 

so this is all good right? nikki seems to think this is FANTASTIC and that i said some good things to him. she is all like WAY TO GO!!!!!

 

but the question still comes down to how i should take this. mostly just hte whole paying thing. nikki said just pull out your wallet liek you're going to pay and if he says he's got it then ask if he's sure and there u go. shonna was like we'll usually the guy pays if he asks and i guess i'd consider this like a date but then i dont know. i was like yeah me either!

 

sorta seems more like a date...but at the same time not.....i dont know how awkward this is gonna be....i ate lunch with him at work all the time...but that was way different.....but at least i know i am comfortable with him one on one....well but that was a different situation......i might feel awkward but at the same time im just i guess not nervious of the actual dinner but more of what the dinner means, paying, and how i can't really read what HIS take on this is.....

 

gosh

[elijahBailey]

So anyway then like 15 min later, my phone rings, and i changed his ring tone to a different one, kind of like so if my phone rang the normal ring i wouldnt get too worked up over it being him and then being disappointed that it wasnt, so when it rang with his ring, i knew it right then and there, and he did call.

 

I get the feeling Shonna asked him to call you And if she told him everything you tell her, then he might get a little big-headed.

 

The thing with friends who are trying to hook you up with someone else is that things almost always go wrong. Anyways, at this point of time, if he still doesn't get his butt moving, you should start ignoring him.

 

Anyhow, how did it go with the dinner?

[justagirl1121]

I get the feeling Shonna asked him to call you And if she told him everything you tell her, then he might get a little big-headed.

 

I think she did say she txted him and told him to call me, but i dont think she said anything to him b/c i dont think there is anything for her to say. i didnt tell her i liked him or anything. I don't confide too much in her just b/c she has these connections and could very well do that.

 

Anyway, i need to talk to him tonite to figure out where im meeting him. he did send me a random txt yesterday. "Steelers lost :(" He's very random.

 

But I will let u know how it goes......

[justagirl1121]

Alright, well here's how dinner went. I really need your input...

 

I can't help but think that it was just hanging out, despite what others said...but at the same time I really thought maybe....

 

So I had called him Monday night and left a voicemail and he didn't call back. Shonna (i know its not right) looked up his account and was like it didnt show that he had any voicemails so u might want to text him....

 

So i txted him "are we still on for tonite? I dn't know if you got my voicemail or not, can you give me a call and let me know?" so he calls me pretty soon after that, around 9:30 am on his way to wokr and is all cheerful and like "so what's up?" like he is intesrested, really wants to know...

 

He's like so yeah what about dinner? so we say Permanti Bros at 6:30. It's like 6:28 and he calls and says there was some traffic, he's going to be like 10 min late, so im like okay, so i am in Giant Eagles, I buy catfood since i have time, then go and wait for him for a few minutes. We sit down and order and we talk, he does a lot of talking, bragging, etc. He gets a phone call from his mom, doesnt answer but then a bit later calls her back adn she is at mall with a car that wont start so he tells her to go wait in the mall he'll be there in a bit. he doesnt rush us out or anything but we only sit there for about 1 1/2...so i get out my wallet to pay and he doesn't offer to pay or anything, but pays his half and i pay my half....

 

So then we're walking out and we stop for a minute and he's like be careful going home. and im thinking, where's the hug but he's kinda like starting to back up, he's not offering a hug, and i'd go for a hug but he's like backing up and stuff so i didn't get a hug......tho last time i saw him he put his arm around me when i saw him and gave a hug when we were leaving nad i was gonig to take him to his car that night since he parked like 10 blocks away but he was like i am going to walk shonna to her car to i kinda gave him another hug and off we went, thats the night he asked if we wanted to get something to eat...

 

soooo my friend nikki says she still thinks he likes me and i just need to do a little more one on one...

 

i could go into detail all the things he's done and said that are flirting and make it apparent he likes me....i mean he wouldnt ask about dinner otherwise u know.....but what's his deal? he still not sure how i am, was he just trying to get a feel of one on one, do i still have some hope, should i make plans with him for something...could it just take a few times.....i mean he wasn't showing any signs of interest otherwise.....i dont know....i mean its not ilke u can flirt across the table or anything, it was too big, to open..i mean he's all like i know i am a spectacular guy, i'm charming as hell, and i was like 'oh i know, incredibly charming, etc.....feed his ego...i just....he seemed too distant....he didn't make any hints or anythign sno maybe he just wants to be friends, maybe he's just seeing....

 

i guess i just say a move forward with him asking to get something to eat since he had made no attempt for the past 5 mo.

 

i had fun but i am kinda...not completely disappointed, but still feel kind of in a weird place....anxious and antsy and stuff....

 

shonna asked how it went (remember she is employed whre scott and i temped so she knows him) i said okay. she asked if he paid i said i paid. she said no date then :<...somehow it came up that i asked "did you think that he liked me that way?" and she said "i didn't know!" i said me either...he's confusing.... i said 'nikki thinks he likes me blah blah' she didn't really answer the question or anything...

 

nikki thinks i jsut need to spend more time and she really thinks it'll happen....i dont know....he wants to move to harrisburg (other side of state). im so confused

any more ideas....?

[elijahBailey]

Is he gay?

 

No seriously. Switch to 'ignore' mode.

 

I keep getting this feeling that Shonna's already told him you like him, even if you haven't told her. That might explain why he's full of himself. Next time you see her, tell her you're losing interest in him.

 

And the next time you talk to him, be coy, and sound distant and disinterested. Now he knows where you stand, start to get him to reciprocate by totally ignoring him. Better still, date others and fill him in on the details. He NEEDS to know that you've got options. And, lookin' at your avatar, I'd be surprised if you didn't have other options.

 

Will you die if you don't talk to him for a week or two? If you're okay with it, seriously ignore him. He will call you back....... when he reach the point where he realize that you aren't initiating no more. It's all a game. You just gotta know how to play it. We only run after what we can't get, and take for granted what we already have.

 

Doesn't anybody else here in LS have inputs?

 

Surely there are some of you out there who can contribute to this thread....

[blue16]

I keep getting this feeling that Shonna's already told him you like him, even if you haven't told her. That might explain why he's full of himself.

 

I was getting the same vibe the entire thread. Maybe she didn't explicitely tell him "SHE LIKES YOU" but with all the setting up and stuff that has been going on, it might be implied. I know you didn't tell her straight up that you liked this guy, but it's pretty clear considering how much you talk about him and are stressing over him. Unless Shonna is very unobservant, she knows you like Scott.

 

As for Scott, he has all the power right now. Whether he's interested or not, he's acting very nonchalant...you deserve better. He doesn't even hug you after the 'date', and he also doesn't pay - not a great sign. I believe it's up to him to reciprocate. So far you did most of the organizing the first time, so it's his turn to start somethin.

 

I think if you start ignoring him or acting distant, he'll start chasing you. Right now he probably knows you're interested, so he can just act casual and not put forth much effort, while knowing that you'll still be there. I mean why should he? All he has to do is respond whenever he feels like, and doesn't have to arrange any dates or anything. Sounds like a good deal to me, sign me up.

 

Don't chase him anymore. It's his turn. And if he doesn't come around, then find someone else because you're pretty cute!

[elijahBailey]

Ah, finally someone else other than myself is talkin'

 

I was getting the same vibe the entire thread. Maybe she didn't explicitely tell him "SHE LIKES YOU" but with all the setting up and stuff that has been going on, it might be implied. I know you didn't tell her straight up that you liked this guy, but it's pretty clear considering how much you talk about him and are stressing over him. Unless Shonna is very unobservant, she knows you like Scott.

 

I agree.... which is why I said Shonna's more a pain than a help to the OP. I hate it when people stick their noses into my business thinkin' they can help, but they're just disrupting the momentum.

 

As for Scott, he has all the power right now. Whether he's interested or not, he's acting very nonchalant...you deserve better. He doesn't even hug you after the 'date', and he also doesn't pay - not a great sign. I believe it's up to him to reciprocate. So far you did most of the organizing the first time, so it's his turn to start somethin.

 

Agreed again. This guy's a loser. It's soooo obvious he likes the OP all along. And now he sees her initiating, he does what?..... just sit back and enjoy the free ride? What a wuss and a dumbass. He ain't the only available dude in the world.

 

To me the OP did nothing wrong. Not even look desperate. She's just sayin'.... "look dumbass I kinda like you, but if you think you can take me for granted, you can go take a hike".

 

I think if you start ignoring him or acting distant, he'll start chasing you. Right now he probably knows you're interested, so he can just act casual and not put forth much effort, while knowing that you'll still be there. I mean why should he? All he has to do is respond whenever he feels like, and doesn't have to arrange any dates or anything. Sounds like a good deal to me, sign me up.

 

He can only feel full of himself for as long as the OP does everything. But once she stops showing interest (as I think she should start ignoring him), he won't be sitting pretty for long. It's really all a game and, to be frank, I think the OP's too nice a girl to play it. She's the type that dumbass dudes take for granted.

 

Don't chase him anymore. It's his turn. And if he doesn't come around, then find someone else because you're pretty cute!

 

Exactly. I think OP's cute too. No reason why she can't get a date. Do even better....... get a date and fill Scott in with the details I bet he would choke.

 

Sometimes, the best way to make sure you don't get too much feelings involved with someone who's not putting in as much effort is to start seeing other people. Only then will you realize that the guy you liked initially is really not that great.

[phyrespryte]

Wow,

 

I'm going to have to agree with Elijah and Blue. This guy is a waste of time! He didn't offer to pay and he didn't even give you a hug? You deserve better. And like they said you did everything and he hasn't done anything.

 

You should definitely start seeing other people.

It will definitely get your mind off him and help you to see him a little more clearly.

 

And don't think that men are all a waste of time! Elijah has been real good to you.

 

You know my situation, but I'm not staying bitter. It's all a learning experience and it's a great story. But it does help you see what you will and will not put up with in future relationships. And you shouldn't put up with such a lazy guy.

[elijahBailey]

And don't think that men are all a waste of time! Elijah has been real good to you.

 

Gee, thanks. You're making me blush

[confusedgeek]

Sounds like the guy you like is shy. Since you two seem to see each other on a relatively basis. Which kind of puts you in the friend category.

 

All these hints say the guy is shy. Backing off from a hug from a girl is a hint to me hes worried about getting into a relationship. Its very well possible he wants one. I can tell you I want one.

 

Then theres the matter with your friends. I would hate it if all the friends rooting or watching or something. Thats just wierd.

 

Either its a setup or some kind of elaborate trick by the friends to get you together. I hate it when friends/family butts into getting me into a relationship.

 

Matter of fact, my mom's been trying to hook me up. I told her if she did, Id never talk to her again. Makes me feel less of a dude if I cant even get a girl

on my own.

 

Anyways, about not paying. Just because the dude didnt pay for the entire meal doesnt mean he doesnt like you. It could be that he is short on funds. As much as I would like to pay for the entire meal for a girl, sometimes, other priorities takes place financially.

 

But more information on why you think he likes you would be welcome.