How should I take all these remarks from guys???

[phyrespryte]

There is a relationship, but it's just friends. They went out to eat like two times I think. I'm not sure. But I do know this whole thing has been going on since at least September. And I don't think the problem is who paid for what.

 

I think (and this is totally my own opinion)that if it were me I wouldn't want him to make a declaration that he likes me. I would just like him to ask me out for a change. And when I say lets do something Friday night, I would like him to say sure let's get together at this time and place. Not I think I might be playing poker that night. And at least a hug goodnight!!!

 

Touch is so important!!! It means that your comfortable with the other person. Comfortable enough to invade their personal space and vice versa. Plus it shows a certain closeness and concern for the other person. But then I could be reading way too much into this. But that's my opinon.

 

I'm not entirely clear on what you mean by what is the next step. Hers or his? Because she did everything she could. It really is his turn now. Or are you asking for you? I'm not exactly clear on what your personal situation was. But I think that you should've called the girl you liked. At least by the end of week 1.

[confusedgeek]

Yeah, I meant for this thread, not mine. Dont want to hijack the on-going topic here since this is justagirl's thread. I should have been more clear.

 

For her or him, is what i guess what i mean.

 

So, it would be wise for him to call her out for a date, hug her next time, and and touch her in some fashion. This feels like playing tag, your it.

[phyrespryte]

LOL

 

I guess you're right with the whole playing tag analogy. Well I guess it is like a game. That sounds awful. And I can't think of anything to make it sound better.

[elijahBailey]

And with the whole dating other people well you don't really have to date other people. You could just hang out with your guy friends. And this is evil... Then tell Scott that you and Billy Bob went to see a movie. No need to explain that Billy Bob is just a friend

 

No, it's not evil :lmao:

 

It just puts you on higher ground. But you gotta be poker-faced about the whole thing. I'm not sayin' it works all the time, but I've seen it work quite often

[justagirl1121]

Yikes, I came back and there's like 14 pages here!

 

WELL......I sorta have an update, maybe something, maybe not....who the hell knows....

 

I think I said already that I didn't call him or anything, just to see who would have to make the first move....he did. I didn't answer the phone but I called him back 2x later that week and got nothing back. Then Christmas weekend came and I didn't really expect anything. I called back like this past wed and left a voicemail. He called me last night, we played some phone tag, finally he called back. He was on the turnpike to go to Harrisburg, then from there today I guess, heading with a big group of people to NYC for New Years.

 

More to the point, I think I talked to him for at least 2 hours!!!!! He had to get off a couple times, lost service for a minute, so he had to keep calling me back so I"m not sure how long it really was.

 

But some of our conversation was REALLLLLLLLY weird.

 

SOMEHOW, and I don't remember, we got on the topic of relationships and stuff like that. And he told me that I "appear shy" and i was like "but i'm not, or i don't THINK i am, though people within 3 min always tell me 'aw you're so shy' but i've only know that person for like THREE minutes!"

 

To you on this board I must appear shy because of this whole thing, but this is a dating thing, when I'm with friends, or stuff at work, I'm not that shy. I"m not all f this and f that in front of people, or real loud when I speak, but I'm pretty friendly.

 

Anyway, he was telling me and that "you don't appear real shy around me but sometimes when we're out you're pretty quiet." Well.....i can see wher ehe's coming from but the 1st time, the music at the bar was sooooooooo loud i was getting naucous after a while, so i couldnt really talk to him. the 2nd time, i got like real bad chest pain/anxiety attack or SOMETHING, plus i was a little sick and had almost completely lost my voice.....and i told him teh latter....and he was like oh i didnt realize you felt that bad.

 

(I"m having computer/internet problems so I'm goign to post this in smaller increments.....)

[justagirl1121]

I thought I almost lost hte post again! GEEZ

 

So, I said, "well I think most people are going to act differently at work than when they go out. I'm not going to go dancing on the cubical desk at work, you know?"

 

So somehow we got on that topic of me dancing there and I was like "I'm sure that'll get me fired real quick, I don't even know if I got the job yet!" and he said "well, they'll know you'e not shy."

 

And somehow we left the topic only slighly and came back to it, he's like "well if you're goign to be dancing clothesless on the desk, i want invited. i'll bring some dollar bills" (now i think of it i should have said 'that's all im worth, dollar bills?" lol) and i was like "who said anything about me not wearing clothes!?" and he said "you did" And I said, no i didnt. So he said "oh, well i must have imagined you said that." OOOKKK.

 

So we got further in to relationships and I was talking about some friends I know who got married already after only knowing the guy for a year. And she was one of thsoe people who wouldnt do ANYTHING before...so i think that's why she rushed into marriage. (heck i cant even get a date, and this girl wasnt tooooooo far off from me!)

 

So we get on the topic of like premarital sex and he's like "I don't know what your views on that are-" and I said "I don't believe in it"

 

(I dont want him to think im just going to jump in bed w/ any one but i want him to know im not a prude either.)

 

So he was like ooooh so you like to get freaky. or soemthing along those lines.

 

His first relationship I geuss was about 7 yrs. I was like wow thats along time ('d told him about friends with long relationships) and he was like "what's the longest relationship you've been in?" I was like oh ****.....so i was like "i've never really been in a long term relationship" which is not lying. so he said something like 'use them and lose them' and i was like noooo i just never really got to know anyone like well enough to know....to know if im intereted in something a lot more....

 

i was trying not to like incriminate him or anything. i was like most of the guys have always been very forward. and i gave him an example and how guys suck and play games and it goes nowhere.

 

Then somewhere a long the lines he's making some comment about dirty talk, (tho there was none i guess he was insinuating hte dancing on the table naked as the dirty talk) and wanting to sleep with him and something about keeping my promises ??? and once again i was like "i didnt mention i wanted to sleep with him! but oooooookkkkkk" interesting comment....

 

at one point he was like 'sometimes you crack me up' so i said, well its what i do best...

 

then mostly we talked about other things life thing and such. found out a little more about like a close friend he had who died in a horse accident. i was like yikes. etc.

 

oh but near the beginning of the convo he made a mention like 2 or 3 x about getting something to eat. i said sure. i was thiking like wow that's weird. dont talk to him for like a month and he's making some plans now???

 

then, at the end of the whole thing he pretty much said again about getting something to eat. so i told him to call me and let me know.

 

i called nikki and shes like "WHAT!?" to the dirty talk remarks, blah blah....she's like WHAT KIND OF PHONE CALL WAS THIS?! I was like, its not how it seems! and she's like "so tell me, how DOES it seem?

 

but she was like "OK. HE IS CONFUSING." Doesnt talk to you for weeeeeekssss......then talks about doing dinner.......

 

how's that?

[confusedgeek]

Congratulations on getting date #2!

 

Justagirl advances to level 2.

[justagirl1121]

haha the date 2 hasnt come yet! wanted to edit something but it wont let me now. the part about the premarital sex, i said it wrong, what i meant is that i'm not against premarital sex. i guess the whole "appearing shy" thing might make him think that i'm not like....affectionate or into anything....

 

btw if you are thinking of sending me any presents i've officially changed my place of residence to http://www.loveshack.org.

[elijahBailey]

oh but near the beginning of the convo he made a mention like 2 or 3 x about getting something to eat. i said sure. i was thiking like wow that's weird. dont talk to him for like a month and he's making some plans now???

 

why did you seem surprised? It almost always turn out this way. Wait and don't blink. You gotta know that you're the prize, NOT the other way around. If the guy doesn't realize that, you walk. Always stick to this principle.

 

Ok, interesting things. so, here are my views....

 

1) It's confirmed. He's physically attracted to you (it's 99.9% now whereas before it was like 90%) . AND, he wants to sleep with you. Duh....

 

2) He's trying to get you to openly declare your feelings for him. BUT, he's doing a very very very poor job. All the talking dirty shyt is plain lame. If you hadn't already been attracted to him before, him saying that would've made you run for the hills. So, even if he had been in a relationship before, he's very poor at flirting.

 

3) He may or may not be shooting for a long term relationship (I suspect the latter though), but he wants to see if he'll be gettin' some in this potential relationship. Again, plain lame. Most women, if the guys can engage emotionally with them, would sleep with the guy. So, like I said, he's not very good at flirting.

 

And, btw, you did well with your answer on the premarital sex thing. I mean, wtf did he expect you to answer? Never sound like you're easy meat with any guy. Sure, that'll get you the date and the sex, but that'll be just about all that you'll get. I think you did well. Never sound like you're easy.

 

I'm also beginning to think that he's not very mature? But I dunno

 

btw, do NOT ask him for the dinner that he suggested. He WILL call, provided that you act like you do not care anymore about initiating. But, bottom line is....... just sit pretty and do NOT do anything.

 

i've officially changed my place of residence to http://www.loveshack.org.

I'm the butler here.

[elijahBailey]

btw, i just edited my post.

[confusedgeek]

Though, its pretty interesting to analyze this guy.

He's 28 now, and hes been in a relationship for 7 years.

 

And if my 1st grade math still works right, hes been with someone since he was 21.

 

Still, it takes a lot of guts to ask those kinds of questions. Those questions he asks are not easy for a guy like myself could ask so casually.

[justagirl1121]

um i think this was a girl from highschool which would have made him 15 (since that's how old he was and she was the first girl he was with....)so he hasnt been with her since he's been about 21... i dont think he's been in a relationship since at least last aug/sept. which is almost a yr and a half.......

[justagirl1121]

Well, nothing on doing dinner or anything, tho he did call me onSunday night (my phone was turned off tho b/c my manager kept flippin calling me so i missed his call )...he said he was just calling to see how my new years was and that he'd catch me later. So i called back...tue night....and i guess i'm just waiting for what's next now...

 

see, i was just about to just drop it all when all this different stuff came up and now its even harder to get him off my mind!!! I'm afraid to get excited but I can't help feeling one thing and trying to reason with myself. It doesn't work. The two are not connected at all.

[phyrespryte]

 

Sorry about the whole dinner thing. But with his timing maybe dinner will happen in a couple of weeks?

 

I can totally relate to the not getting your hopes up thing. Last week was all about that. It sucks so bad to build things up and then everything not go how you hoped. My friends tell me I just need to go out more, keep myself occupied. Maybe that's all you have to do to? Just keep yourself busy and focus on the other things that are really important to you?

 

Or maybe just not think about him. Like whenever I start to think about the guy I like I keep telling myself stop it and then think of something that confuses me. Like the excorcism of emily rose.

So then I'll get all caught up trying to figure out if she really was possesed or if she just had epilepsy.

[elijahBailey]

Don't get obsessed with one guy. This is very important because, once you get obsessed (I'm not sayin' you are), you're no longer in control of the situation. The deal with keeping someone interested is to hit on them enough so they know you're interested, then pull back and let them chase you; then repeat again and again. At the same time, see other guys so you don't get obsessed with just one.

[justagirl1121]

Well.....I have an idate for you, an update as if I've never had an update before......but I'm not sure what is going on.....yup, confused still!!!

 

So, here goes...

 

Friday (today)...I'm at work...i'm talkng to my friend shonna on the cell....she starts mentioning scott, says his last name....and what do you know.....he's calling in on the other line!!!!!! I'm like holy crap that is bazarre...

 

so me and him talk quite a bit on the phone today off and on between when I had customers to take care of. But during some of these calls he's mentioning how he has nothing to do today and how he's bored and he's lounging around in bed......not his typical self. He's asking me what I'm doing tnoite and stuff...and i'm wondering if he's going to ask to do something as per the previous conversation..but he's not...and i'm like....i am not falling for this....but i want to do something, so in the end i ended up falling for the bait (or what i thought at the time was bait, now i have no freaking clue)...i was like "well if you're bored and not doing anything do you want to do something later" and he says "sure, what do you want to do"

 

so we settle on dinner. and he made fun of me b/c i hardly ate ANYTHING. i guess it was a combo of being cold (i shake a little when just the littlest bit cold) and a little nervous, but not really nervous. before i would have thought i'd downright die just thinking about going on a date....well so we ate and talked and all and i paid for my part of the meal.

 

but we had some yeungling at the restaurant. then he's suggesting we go somewhere else, which to me was cool b/c that meant he didnt want to just end the night. (and right now i have a really bad headache and its 4:30 in the mornining. i've only been home for like 15 minutes)

 

Okay, so we go to this other restaurnt and have a beer. but apparently this place closes at 11. yikes. so we're at the restaurant at a corner booth and he makes a comment about how i dont have to sit crooked. so i move over to the middle of hte side of the table. then he's showing me his new phone nad pics and stuff and he is like 'lets look thru your contacts list..which didnt bother me at all. i looked thru his. i have like 2 more entries than he does

 

anyway, he's sitting real close to me, like touching me and stuff. and im like hmmmm....way more touchy...at one time or another he kind of apologizes for invading my space.

 

so that is that. the bar is closed, we leave he asks if i want to go somewhee else. he ends up driving. we drive downtown to the south side where all the bars and whatnot are and find Permanti Bros. we sit there for a while. he's being a little touchy and stuff. he ruffles my hair, etc. things like that....we end up leaving there too, this is before 1am.

 

we're trying to find the car. a few times he like is teasing me and is sorta pushign me up against he wall as we're walking like he's pushing my shoulder with hsi hand....ok....he apologizes for it....so we're walking ad its cold nad he puts his arm around me and stuff and just weird things liek that and we can't really find the car....and THEN.....he starts kind of hugging me a bit...and then...yeah he kisses me....and so we're kinda in this alley way making out...and he wasnt all like gentle about it exactly, not like a sweet first kiss....but so like then he's like we should find hte car..and then he stops again and so on and then we find the car and so, yeah, we made out in the car for quite a long time.

 

i wasnt much of a talker but he made some comments like 'did anyone ever tell you you have a great body" and "i debated on doign this all night" etc. and makes some comment about he

always wanted a sweet girl" but after.....

 

well he's not interested in a relationship, for certain reasons. ok i cant force him into that. at least he's up front. i mean, i live with my parents still and am not close and have no idea how i'd even tell them about a boyfriend, so that leads me to not want one but at the same time want one.....he's still planning on moving to harrisburg, he says in like 3 weeks etc. he doesnt want to hurt me, we had quite a long talk trying to discuss this..it wasnt as uncomfortable as i thought id' be...i said a bunch of stuff i didnt think i'd be able to say. i didnt really say "i like you" i told him im sorta interested....and that i dont necessarily want it to just go back to being friends. but i dont want to pressure him into anything, but i dont necessarily want a friends with benefits thing.

 

i told him some things like about how we didnt see each other for 6 mo. etc and now he's suddenly mr. plan things. and he's like hey you were hte one who asked me out remember....etc....

 

he says he actually has seen me more in the past 3 months than he's probably seen anyone.....so i guess any of his friends, he doesnt see htem all that oftne. like once a quarter or something. hmm....

 

i guess his parents split up just a couple years ago and that's one thing that leads him to not want a relationship. like my parents are any better.

 

so um, we dont really know what's goign on....but i said i wouldnt be opposed to more....so the plan is to make plans to do something and not just leave everything open. basically i was like well i dont want to leave tonite and then what we'll talk like next week and that'll e that.? and so i was like maybe we should make plans next weekend. so he deal is he will call sometime during hte week (hopefully) and we'll do something next weekend. (one thing we discussed was that if we dont know where its going we're both going to be wondering but not take any chance, u know like do we ant this or not?)

 

i'm kinda for it.....i told him that to a certain degree. i dont want to over analyze this...i didnt tell him i had a thing for him for months and months or anything...so on the way back he ruffles my hair a bit again and takes my hand, etc...things like that, i told him i liked that stuff. i so didnt feel as awkward as i thought i would. its weird. i like his hand a lot.

 

so he dropped me off at the car. we kissed again (i mean if we werent' goign to take it any further at all we wouldnt have kissed right?)

 

and i tried to ask him, but i wanst sure how to word it, like why he did what he did......and im not sure he knew why..i guess he likes hanging out with me...i get the impression from questions nad his answers that he'd never ever planned on this....i dont know....seems to have been a lot of flirting and stuff before. i told him he was a confusing guy. he's like oh i know, i'm a confusing bastar d"

 

um so......yeah.....

 

god what do i do now?

 

(yeah we're in the car....kinda just talking now.....and some black dude and some lady come up tapping on the window. he's all like he needs help and he has like 2 bucks and he needs to get his mom home and she got beat up and he has a little weed and the cops are...blah blah.....and scotts like i have no money. sorry i spent it all on alcohol, that's why we stopped drinking. man its kinda funny now but not.....so the dude is like ok sorry man. and yeah we kinda got out of there....)

[phyrespryte]

:confused:

 

WOW!!!!! That was some night you had!

 

I'm not sure what you're supposed to do now. He doesn't want a relationship you don't want one either. So it seems all confusing. But kudos to you for telling him what you want.

[confusedgeek]

Im somewhat, um, shocked.

 

Your on your own now. This is way past my skill level. I havent kissed anyone like that yet or dated. Theres nothing I can add to be more useful at this point.

 

Im a little jealous actually.

[elijahBailey]

Good, he finally got the guts to do what he did. I was really startin' to think that he just didn't have the balls to do it. He was really gaugin your response with all the touching and ruffling blah to make sure you don't squirm before going for the kiss Don't buy the BS that he didn't plan that. I would say the same thing too

 

I'm not getting what you find so confusing about the whole thing.....

 

The way I read the whole thing is that.... nothing's changed. The only thing that changed is that he declared his attraction for you, which we knew all along. Just to help you sort things out, here's what the deal is.....

 

. he's physically attracted to you and he wants to sleep with you. Duh...

. he's still movin' to harrisburg and he's not sure if he wants a LDR

. if he can sleep with you before he moves to harrisburg, that would be a bonus

. if he can do a FWB thingy, he wouldn't say no

. and..... he just needed to know if you truly like him, before he moves to harrisburg. I'm someone like that. Even if I know that circumstances doesn't provide for a relationship with a girl I like, I still need to know that I have the girl's heart

 

Where do you go from here? No one can tell you, except yourself. But I do feel happy for you. Just remember that the rules hasn't changed. Be in control of the situation. Don't look needy, don't rush things. Remember that you're the prize, NOT him. And do NOT give him the impression that you're crazy about him. You've been warned

[justagirl1121]

I guess what confuses me is where this is going to go now. I of course, don't expect you to have an anwswer...it's just...why the heck did he do this then if he's not into a relationship, let alone dating....but at hte same time was like 'what do you think' and he did mention something like 'well we can just see where it goes' but still very adament about the whole not emotionally into having a relationship. he says this is something he doesnt want to do to a friend and the last thing he'd want is for me to get hurt....but then it's like why did you do that....if you're not into a relationship? I also don't want to just be something, but I couldn't really get out of him if he did it because he was like.....horney or whatever or if it is because it is ME...i think it's because it is me. but maybe he doesn't really have anyone else he could mess around with you know?

 

It's just a little weird, but at the same time it's not.....I mean, this is what I wanted.....but have never had any luck with guys.....so it's hard to believe that it did...but then there's still the whole 'not into a relationship' thing that is kinda blowing up in my face.

 

I have serious doubts that this was a "just going with the flow"

1st. he started with the whole 'well have to meet up for dinner' thing the other week like 3x.

2nd. he called friday and was being all like so what are you doing? and i'm bored and i'm just hanging out.

3rd. the whole closeness thing at the one bar and then when we were walking to Permanti Bros he kinda put his arm around me and like made a fist and put it against my stomach (some joke earlier about me drking my beer faster and i was like do you WANT me to vomit on you? probably not) like here is hte vomit reflex or something. he did tha tlike twice. then he did it again and was like 'you have a really tight stomach'. that was a bit weird....

 

adn the whole whispering "i was debating on doing this all night" kinda kills his alibi of "it wasnt planned"

 

And what's with the "i always wanted a sweet girl" comment? I heard him and some other people talking when we were still working together, something about girls and he just wants to meet a nice sweet girl, something like that....ok so that's kinda working with continuity i guess.

 

here's my other thing. i'm all for sleeping with him but i'm not a ho. and i dont want him to think that i am, tho i doubt he thinks i am b/c of my 'good girl' image and how i'm 'shy'. i dont wnat to do it on like the 2nd or 3rd encounter..plus then i am afraid that after that he will drop me....or if i wait TOO long he really will leave and i wont get a chance...

 

I feel different now too...it's not really weird, which is weird....and i'm surprised and kind of proud how i handled it....not being all that experienced with it but i think because i'm really into him, i was not shy about the whole making out thing. not that i hadnt done that before but i was definitely not all shy. i went in for some stuff too...not to go into details but when/if we do something this weekend, i dont know whether or not anything will happen or what. i want something to happen. definitely. so i dont know what kind of thing to plan. any ideas?

 

all that's really around are restaurants, bars, movie, going back to his place.(never been)...also having issues with actually going out....was out till lik 4am...then sat, was out from like 12-12 with my friend nikki...my mom's all like 'what have you been doing these past two late nights) (because i ended up with a really stiff neck and shoulders from the ghetto movie theatre seats and the way i was sitting watching the movie)....i dont know how im going to explain going out THIS weekend again, and how late i can manage to stay out. see he worked at 10 sat. and stayed out till 4am. i work sat but no way can i stay out that late. my parents would totally flip out on me if iworked next mornign and came home late.

 

also, i have not told my parents, i can't. its so uncomfortable. i mean if scott and i talk this out, then yeah i'lm going to have to bring it up somehow....maybe that's a question i gotta ask him ?

 

i dont know. i've been thinking things adn going around and around in my head....am excited, but still a little litte down, and stll not sure where things stand in the futre......

[phyrespryte]

Where do you go from here? No one can tell you, except yourself. But I do feel happy for you. Just remember that the rules hasn't changed. Be in control of the situation. Don't look needy, don't rush things. Remember that you're the prize, NOT him. And do NOT give him the impression that you're crazy about him. You've been warned

 

I think this is probably the best answer to your situation. Especially the part about you being the prize. Oh and the part about not rushing things i liked too. Why worry so much about sleeping with him? I mean it took him how long to finally put the moves on you? I think waiting until you're sure that's what you want to do isn't going to be such a horrible thing.

[elijahBailey]

thanks phyrespryte. And to add on .....

 

and he did mention something like 'well we can just see where it goes' but still very adament about the whole not emotionally into having a relationship. he says this is something he doesnt want to do to a friend and the last thing he'd want is for me to get hurt....

 

You know, of course, that that was one humongous load of bullcrap don't you He said that and then he went right ahead and started makin' out with you

 

Having said that, da guy needs time too, just like you. So, just follow the drift....

 

 

adn the whole whispering "i was debating on doing this all night" kinda kills his alibi of "it wasnt planned"

 

Again, BS....

But what does it matter.... a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do... We hate to look bad, okay

 

And what's with the "i always wanted a sweet girl" comment? I heard him and some other people talking when we were still working together, something about girls and he just wants to meet a nice sweet girl, something like that....ok so that's kinda working with continuity i guess.

 

You are sweet! I think people here in LS can see that! Your prose and articulation is just sweet.....

 

here's my other thing. i'm all for sleeping with him but i'm not a ho. and i dont want him to think that i am, tho i doubt he thinks i am b/c of my 'good girl' image and how i'm 'shy'. i dont wnat to do it on like the 2nd or 3rd encounter..plus then i am afraid that after that he will drop me....or if i wait TOO long he really will leave and i wont get a chance...

 

Alright, alright, alright..... Listen up..... cuz there's some MAJOR ideas in your head that needs some seeerious debunking.....

 

I know where yer comin' from about not wanting to look like a ho...

But, tell ya what.... You'll never be a ho to him, coz he knows you so well..

 

If a guy drops a girl just cuz she won't do him, it's because...

1. she's meat to him right from the start. he never see her as more than that

2. he never wanted a relationship, he was only in it for the booty

..... get it? There are no other reasons.....

 

And, also, it's just much better for you to hold it off for a while, because.............. You.Are.The.prize.... I'm serious...... let.him.work.for.you! ...... If you're not gettin' this part, then you seriously need to do some thinkin'. If I'm the guy, that's what I want the girl to do. If things are too easy, it destroys all the mystery.

 

not to go into details but when/if we do something this weekend, i dont know whether or not anything will happen or what. i want something to happen. definitely. so i dont know what kind of thing to plan.

 

Can't plan things for you.... it's your dude

But seriously, if he pushes for the booty and yer not ready yet, walk. Have the guts to do it! He'll respect you for it. It works the same way as making him wait... like back then when he was playing the phone tag thing with you. I always respect a girl who knows what she wants, not one who bends all her will to suit my needs (read: don't look needy or desperate. Look like someone who'll walk if things aren't right)

 

my parents would totally flip out on me if iworked next mornign and came home late.

 

it's........girls' night out...

Every other night for the next few weeks :lmao:

[justagirl1121]

You know, of course, that that was one humongous load of bullcrap don't you He said that and then he went right ahead and started makin' out with you

 

Originally Posted by justagirl1121

adn the whole whispering "i was debating on doing this all night" kinda kills his alibi of "it wasnt planned"

 

 

Again, BS....

But what does it matter.... a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do... We hate to look bad, okay

 

Well, he started making out with me and we were busy for like 40 min lol and THEN for whatever reason that made us end it, then he got around to telling me he's not into getting into a relationship of any sort...and looking back I kind of get that he had planned it somewhat. I just don't want to feel like he regrets it.

 

You are sweet! I think people here in LS can see that! Your prose and articulation is just sweet.....

 

Thanks! I am sweet!!! Not to brag or anything....

you're not so bad yourself...

 

And about the debunking...and the hoing....

 

Yeah, not going there right off. I think i'm just trying to find negative things so i don't get let down and so that if good comes from this, it'll be that much better...it is just harder than i thought it'd be now that i'm here.

 

I haven't heard from him, it's wednesday. Not freaking out or anything...just hope he does call eventually....I'm sure he will....

 

I'm just thinking here...it's just he's been too flirty and too attentive for like 10 months now. He shouldnt being making these moves if he is so damn adament about not wanting a relationship. Maybe he was just trying not to get hurt himself, or maybe he doesn't know what he wants. I'm willing to try a LDR...and it doesn't have to be incredibly serious or anything.

 

Now, from what I've heard/read, women are much more emotional and attached, and when a girl sleeps with a guy she is more attached to him now and he can pretty much just go onwith his life..

 

I don't want to feel pushy or attached...tho I kind of am...but i was kind of attached to him before all this happened....so I don't know what I should expect (not saying i want to rush into this, but i want to get to a point where i know where we stand...whether we're going to pretend it never happened or that we're going to give it a go...not saying we have to call each other a certain title, but just that there is more than just friendship...).

 

If/When we talk, I don't want him to think I expect that he has to date me now...he might be thinking, it happened, it was fun, now that's all it was...me on the other hand, i do a little expect something from this now...i mean, i didnt make these moves, he did....I wasnt hitting on him. The only reason i asked him to do something is because he kept making hints that he wasnt busy and he was bored.

 

If i'd met him 2 days ago and we made out i'd be like whatever...so that's why i kind of expect more now from him (besides the fact that i want more) because a friend who's made gestures of interest for almost a year finally did something, seems to me to lead somewhere...I can't help but seem to think its not going to go anywhere....my friends think it will....

 

thanks for listenin to me babble.

[cygny]

just a caution--alot of guys will bait a girl so that they can say you chased them and then they can feel less responsible for what happens, ie sex without a relationship.

 

he obviously likes you. but i think you are hoping for a relationship. he has flat out said, nope, no relationship. so don't try to convince yourself that its more,ok? protect yourself emotionally. or you'll get hurt.

 

he wants to have sex with you without any strings attached. can you handle that? he wants to go off to college and make it with other girls. he wants to be non-exclusive, have sex with you and with other girls at college too. that is probably hard to hear and may be hard to believe because women are always going to connect emotions with sex.

[justagirl1121]

I wish people would actually read the posts, if they're interested in giving advice. I understand there's a lot to read....but make sure u know the story please. This guy isn't going off to college!!! He's 28! I'm done with college too! We're at an age when finding a SO should be something on our minds, whether its serious or not, and whether we're the ones for each other or not.