Cdot94 Posted May 8, 2021 Share Posted May 8, 2021 Ok so my ex girlfriend and I broke up about 7-8 months ago and were living together still until about 3 months ago she got her own place because I found out she was already talking to someone 15 years older than her. They are currently in their relationship but we still keep contact because of our 2 children.. we have them week to week. I hate how she already has already introduced him to our kids so early. And here's the other part that has me more confused. She still says she loves me and we have intimate moments whenever she wants too behind his back. She's only had sex with him 1 time and all the other times she wants with me. I try to keep my distance but it still happens on occasions.. ladies ?? What does she want or mean? She has me so confused. I feel like she regrets what she did in moving in that new relationship the way she did but I know she has some type of feeling for him too.. idk what to do.. !!! Help?? Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted May 8, 2021 Share Posted May 8, 2021 Look at what her actions tell you. Shes cake eating at the moment. She’s got two guys. She’s probably cheated on you and now she’s cheating on her other man with you. Words mean what? Nothing because her actions tell you the truth. She lives with the other guy and tells you she’s only had sex with him once? 😂 What kind of mother introduces her kids that early to another man? Not a good one. Your problem is you are allowing yourself to be played. If she’s so in love with you why is she with her other man? You are teaching her how she can treat you. Like a lot you are using the children as an excuse to maintain contact. No contact can be done with children. No shared time. You have yours, she has hers. Pickups and drop offs can be done in 2-3 minutes. I know 3 who do this very effectively. You are your biggest problem. Your lack of integrity and self respect is allowing you to accept the unacceptable. Until you fix that you’ll be her puppet on a string. No or limited contact is up to you. No one else has that power unless you give it to them. You are a chump only if you allow it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 8, 2021 Share Posted May 8, 2021 2 hours ago, Cdot94 said: Ok so my ex girlfriend and I broke up about 7-8 months ago and were living together still until about 3 months ago she got her own place because I found out she was already talking to someone 15 years older than her Who broke up with who originally and why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cdot94 Posted May 8, 2021 Author Share Posted May 8, 2021 9 hours ago, Marc878 said: Look at what her actions tell you. Shes cake eating at the moment. She’s got two guys. She’s probably cheated on you and now she’s cheating on her other man with you. Words mean what? Nothing because her actions tell you the truth. She lives with the other guy and tells you she’s only had sex with him once? 😂 What kind of mother introduces her kids that early to another man? Not a good one. Your problem is you are allowing yourself to be played. If she’s so in love with you why is she with her other man? You are teaching her how she can treat you. Like a lot you are using the children as an excuse to maintain contact. No contact can be done with children. No shared time. You have yours, she has hers. Pickups and drop offs can be done in 2-3 minutes. I know 3 who do this very effectively. You are your biggest problem. Your lack of integrity and self respect is allowing you to accept the unacceptable. Until you fix that you’ll be her puppet on a string. No or limited contact is up to you. No one else has that power unless you give it to them. You are a chump only if you allow it. Damn bro I definitely needed to hear that. And well she has her own place so she doesn't live with him. And yeah it's just so odd now that we do our own things she has more time to actually spend time with our kids together than when we actually lived together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cdot94 Posted May 8, 2021 Author Share Posted May 8, 2021 7 hours ago, elaine567 said: Who broke up with who originally and why? She broke up with me saying that she didn't feel the same anymore and that she was just tired of us not progressing in other parts of the relationship and etc. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 8, 2021 Share Posted May 8, 2021 You'll have to draw up better boundaries and stop sleeping with her if it's confusing you or conflicting with the best interests of the kids. Think of yourself here and your own healing. If she has moved out and is in a relationship with another man, her heart and mind is not 100% with you. Take yourself out of the situation for a moment and think through this logically step by step. It hurts but do what's best for yourself and think this through. Don't do anything that compromises your peace of mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted May 8, 2021 Share Posted May 8, 2021 (edited) 54 minutes ago, Cdot94 said: She broke up with me saying that she didn't feel the same anymore and that she was just tired of us not progressing in other parts of the relationship and etc. Read between the lines. She wanted to spend more time with her new boyfriend with you conveniently out of the way. Pretty common wayward practice. Now she’s not so sure he’s gonna work out like she thought so she’s keeping you on the back burner as her plan B. A soft place to land. More common wayward practice. Right now you are her chump. Better wake up. The thing is there’s a good chance even if she would come back she’ll do this again. All cheaters lie a lot. A LOT!!! That’s all you’re getting. Edited May 8, 2021 by Marc878 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 9, 2021 Share Posted May 9, 2021 On 5/8/2021 at 1:23 AM, Cdot94 said: I try to keep my distance but it still happens on occasions.. ...because you allow it. Quote ladies ?? What does she want or mean? She has me so confused. I feel like she regrets what she did in moving in that new relationship the way she did but I know she has some type of feeling for him too.. idk what to do.. !!! Help?? She wants to be with him, but use you because you let her. She doesn't regret it to the point where she's broken that lease, dropped him and moved back in with you. She can have her cake and eat it, too because you let her. Own that. What you should do is not allow her into your dwelling outside of dropping off/picking up the children. If needs be, have a 3rd adult party there to stop that kind of energy from finding its legs and taking off with you. At some point, you need to put some self discipline into play. You're not a hapless bystander in this. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 9, 2021 Share Posted May 9, 2021 On 5/8/2021 at 11:02 AM, Cdot94 said: she was just tired of us not progressing in other parts of the relationship and etc. Progressing how? Link to post Share on other sites
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