I cheated on my perfect husband. Is there any chance of reconciliation .

[Betrayed&Stayed]

On 5/9/2021 at 7:30 AM, edith said:

If your husband actually had been perfect, you wouldn’t have cheated.

Let that sink in.

Her affair has nothing to do with her husband. This is 100% on the OP

She needs to own the affair AND the consequences

OP, sign the papers and let your husband move on

[pepperbird2]

44 minutes ago, usa1ah said:

This is such a lie. Damn. 

It's the equivalent of saying a woman asks to be physically abused or that it's her fault because she's a bad wife.
 

[SRCSRC]

You not only cheated on your husband for two years, you denied him physical intimacy while supplying it to another.  You want him back because your affair partner rejected you.  Sign the divorce papers and leave the poor man alone.  He would be absolutely crazy to go back to you.  

[Duquane Boynton]

I'm hearing a lot of ME, ME, ME in this story, but never about him. Instead of respecting his decision to move on, you passively DEMAND that he stay with you by refusing to sign the divorce papers. You actually took the time to write to all of the blasphemy you've done, and then ask us if you have a chance at getting him back? You know the answer to your question already. It's simple. No. You do not have a chance at getting him back, and you don't deserve the chance. You dropped the ball on a touchdown pass. You described him as the perfect husband and, because you basically felt bored, you decided to cheat. Not for a day, not for a week. For two years. There was no fog. You had every moment in those 730 days to come to your senses. Stop using your emotions as a scapegoat, you're not in high school, you're a grown adult. Grow up, and leave that man alone. 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Duquane Boynton
Typo

[meandem]

"I was used as a material for sex" lol. you wanted this , don't make it look like you were a victim , you wanted to be a hole to be used. and ofcourse the OM was not stupid enough to marry a cheating wife who is able to ruin her husband and children life. he wanted a hole and he got it.

"Will i ever have him back?" will i , i wanted , i , i ,i ... everything you wrote is about you. for the sake of your husband leave him and let him have a better life .

[RM1062]

A previous commenter said that affairs don't happen in a vacuum and this is true. People who stray are seeking something that their not getting from their partner. If you haven't already  you need to take a deep look inside yourself and figure out what it was that drove you to cheat. You need to resolve this and heal yourself before you even consider getting into a relationship with someone.

Having said that your actions were still wrong. Something indeed may have been missing in your marriage. But instead of communicating with your husband, instead of working with him to try to resolve this issue and make your marriage stronger your solution was to go out and have an affair. Maybe there was nothing missing from your marriage and you only cheated because you were craving excitement and the lure of doing something forbidden. Regardless of what your motivations were at the time, none of that matters anymore. You made your choice, you cheated and you got caught. It's all over but the crying. Time to pay the piper now for your choices.

Marriages are built on trust and no doubt your soon to be ex has none to give you, and for that you have no one but yourself to blame. Maybe one day he might come to terms with what you have done and decide to forgive you. But that isn't going to happen anytime soon and in fact may never happen. In any case if and / or when that happens it will be up to him and on his terms. You no longer have a say in the matter.

For now you need to let him go. Give him the divorce and move on with your life. 

Edited May 28, 2021 by RM1062
Adding some more

[Fletch Lives]

Some people can get over cheating, some can't. Your husband sounds like he can't get over it. Sorry.

[Dimjo9]

Hi Amelia,

Cheating destroys relationships “what is done in darkness will soon go into the light”..

Best for you is sign the divorce papers & let go.. this is the best u can do for him.. 

Next inform HR of what you did with the OM & bear the consequence.. You have to be responsible & the OM too..

Are you still working with him ? 

[Neptunesfury]

No there is absolutely no chance nor will there ever be a chance you screwed up over the course of what was it 4 years and now that he wants a divorce and your plan B hit the road you think you can just what get your old life back wake the f*** up you royally screwed the pooch. Not to mention you made a WILLING AMD CONSCIOUS decision to cheat on him it was no mistake you took what you had for granted and look where it got you you have absolutely no one but yourself to blame. You made the damn bed now lie in it and anyone who tries to justify what you did is full of horseshit

[Just a Guy]

Hi Amelia, quite frankly you are overlooking a dimple fact. Once your affair was out in the open and your husband got to know about it, the matter was out of your hands. Your husband is in the position where he can decide whether he wants to forgive you and reconcile or just move on and divorce you. He has chosen the latter option and wild horses will not be able to drag him back to you. For him you are history and the sooner you let this fact permeate your brain the sooner you can begin to build your new life without him in the picture. As it is your not signing the divorce papers is just a bump in the process of proceeding with the divorce. The court will probably enforce your signature or proceed with the divorce as if you had signed the papers. I may be wrong here and there will be others who can give the correct picture but it appears logical that your husband will eventually get his divorce unless he changes his mind. 

That being the case, it I'd best that you start planning s life without him in it and make the best of a difficult situation. There are a lot of single mothers these days and you will only be one of them. Nest wishes.