Maisie22 Posted May 9, 2021 Share Posted May 9, 2021 Friends, so I was with my ex for many years, we had our ups and downs but I loved him very dearly. He was a paranoid schizophrenic and he drank very heavy. I was there for him through alot. I became pregnant with our son. The pregnancy was very difficult and I worked 45 hours a week up to 8.5 months pregnant. He never worked so all the financial responsibility fell on me. I was a nightmare snd i would lose it with him and say mean things. I was just so tired and resentment built up in me (no excuse) Our son was born and we moved in with my parents so we could save for a mortgage. He kept drinking snd one night he disappeared I kicked him out to go get help. Instead he got with someone 2 weeks later and moved her in to his parents. They have been together for nearly 3 years now and I'm still devastated. We slept togeher a few times during their first year together. He made out he still wanted our family and I was very vunerable. He kept going back to her. He was hacking all my personal accounts and he kissed me 6 months ago and SHOCK, he ran back to her. Over cut him off and set it up so he meets my dad to see our son. I'm still so sad and I would love to know whst this girl had that I don't!?! He pays maintenace when he feels like it snd sees our son once in a blue moon. He said shes really supportive and happy with her. Did this girl truly change him? I gave so much of myself and I'm left raising a child on my own while they run around being happy. She lived in his parents, has a nice car and a good job. Any words of encouragement would be amazing. Thank you all so much in advance. ❤ Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 9, 2021 Share Posted May 9, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Maisie22 said: He was a paranoid schizophrenic and he drank very heavy. one night he disappeared I kicked him out to go get help. Instead he got with someone 2 weeks later and moved her in to his parents. He was hacking all my personal accounts. He pays maintenace when he feels like it snd sees our son once in a blue moon. Sorry this happened. The best thing to do is change all your passwords on all your account and devices. Also get court ordered child maintenance, although visitation is not required, so continue to allow supervised visitation only. He happy you got rid of an alcoholic and have the support of your parents . Edited May 9, 2021 by Wiseman2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maisie22 Posted May 9, 2021 Author Share Posted May 9, 2021 5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened. The best thing to do is change all your passwords on all your account and devices. Also get court ordered child maintenance, although visitation is not required, so continue to allow supervised visitation only. He happy you got rid of an alcoholic and have the support of your parents . Thank you so much Wiseman2. It's been so hard. Very thankful for my wonderful family. ❤ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 9, 2021 Share Posted May 9, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Maisie22 said: I'm still so sad and I would love to know whst this girl had that I don't!?! A boyfriend who is a paranoid schizophrenic and I would guess, a highly volatile and perhaps abusive relationship. You know - the kind of relationship where all the responsibility, all the burden, and all the stress falls on one partner because the other partner has a mental illness and abuses alcohol... Who know what happens in a relationship. He may be stable now and their life may look wonderful, but you don’t know what’s happening in that home. You also don’t know when he will decide to go off his meds - which is often the case for those who have this kind of serious mental illness. I’m sorry, I know that probably sounds blunt but seriously, if anyone has “won” her I would suggest it is you! You have your child and you ditched a very bad relationship. Time to move on friend, time to find something better for yourself... Edited May 9, 2021 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 11, 2021 Share Posted May 11, 2021 (edited) This is not about who is "better," it is about his instability and to a certain extent inability to make fully rational decisions. He probably goes wherever he feels safest at a particular time, but clearly this is inconsistent and subject to the vagaries of his illness. You might consider reading up on "trauma-bonding" and also analyzing/contemplating why you are so attached to such an unstable partner. With those issues addressed or in progress, you could consider looking for a new partner if there is interest. Just remember that for better or worse he is likely to be seen as "baggage" by any new partner and so you probably want to keep him at a far distance rather than orbiting and interfering with things. Don't try to move on unless/until you are genuinely resolved to be fully done with him, as that would not be fair to the new partner (if there is even interest in this on your part). Edited May 11, 2021 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
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