Openmindzen Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 My wife and I (both females) are talking about opening up the marriage for her. I don't necessarily have any interest in seeing anyone else but I know that she certainly enjoys having sex with men on occasion. At first I struggled with the idea thinking that perhaps she wasn't happy in our marriage. I did some reading on the topic and find it's more common than not. I am now on board and my wife and I have discussed and I feel more comfortable with the idea. Anyone with suggestions as to how to handle jealously or maybe just getting over insecurities that I have are welcome. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 9 minutes ago, Openmindzen said: My wife and I (both females) are talking about opening up the marriage for her. I don't necessarily have any interest in seeing anyone else but I know that she certainly enjoys having sex with men on occasion. What stands out is "for her". That means it's not "for us". It may seem like a good idea to quell her demands, but it may not turn out well in the end "for you". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Openmindzen Posted May 10, 2021 Author Share Posted May 10, 2021 I just don't have any interest in seeing someone else at this time. We've been together for 13 years and our relationship is solid. I do however know that she sometimes enjoys sex with men and that's ok because I know I can't give her that experience. She has been very open about her thoughts on this. She could have just gone and did it but she didn't she talked to me first. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 If this is really only for her, my advice is don't do it. It will end with you being hurt. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 Open marriages work best when both are wishing to explore their sexuality and when both stick firmly to the agreed rules. Here it is one sided and that is a huge problem. You have no interest in doing this and are only agreeing to it to please her How are you really going to manage to put up with this? BTW many people who request open marriages are already often in a relationship with someone else. They seek to legitimise it by requesting to open up the marriage. Be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Openmindzen Posted May 10, 2021 Author Share Posted May 10, 2021 Thank you all for responding however I don't think this is the correct forum for us. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 11, 2021 Share Posted May 11, 2021 Do some research e.g. polyamory (not "swinging" unless THAT's actually what you want to do). There is a book "The Ethical Slut" which you may find helpful helpful, despite the name. There is also a site "xeromag" which has polyamory resources that you may find helpful (be warned there are also BDSM resources on that site; IF that's an issue for you, then just avoid those parts, last I was there they were separated out). Link to post Share on other sites
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