Why would an ex you broke up with contact you months later?

[Cookiesandough]

Hi,,,

 

Is it rude to ask an ex bf to be temporary of quarantine bootie call to take the edge off for awhile ? 
 

You have 0 romantic interest in them, but you could use the companionship + they are hot, while you are focusing on some others. Not in those words, but provided he needs the same thing everything would work out great? Let’s say you hinted to it while you were together and he said “I’m not interested in fwb at all.” And then joked “well... maybe” what do you think? Ask with more intent? 
Or just do it and hope for the best

Asking for a friend

Edited May 15, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[flitzanu]

45 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Hi,,,

 

Is it rude to ask an ex bf to be temporary of quarantine bootie call to take the edge off for awhile ? 
 

You have 0 romantic interest in them, but you could use the companionship + they are hot, while you are focusing on some others. Not in those words, but provided he needs the same thing everything would work out great? Let’s say you hinted to it while you were together and he said “I’m not interested in fwb at all.” And then joked “well... maybe” what do you think? Ask with more intent? 
Or just do it and hope for the best

Asking for a friend

you're ruining my theory that FWB is 100% always a woman sleeping with a man hoping that he will fall in love with her, because you're the one that's gonna be liek "nah kthx" and he's gonna be all "but i love you" 🤣

 

but really, i mean, a girl's gotta eat.  just don't forget the ramifications that will eventually come up.

 

also wordplay jokes.

[Highndry]

A guy only contacts an ex-gf if he wants to sleep with her again. That's it.

[Highndry]

4 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Is it rude to ask an ex bf to be temporary of quarantine bootie call to take the edge off for awhile ? 

No, not rude at all. Go for it. He may be thrilled.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Is it rude to ask an ex bf to be temporary of quarantine bootie call to take the edge off for awhile ?

Isn't that the classic FWB situation?

As long as no one hopes to rekindle anything, probably fine.

I'm sure the pandemic has led to all sorts of unprecedented situationships.

[Cookiesandough]

I’m in a bad situation....(again) 

So my ex and I were talking on the phone for like 3 hours about the relationship/our history/guilt tripping me for stuff but I deserved it. 

 

Anyway, it was a very heart-to-heart and he said he wants to get back “where we were” and he wants to be able to slowly trust me again. He said that he wants full on, like I can’t drop off with no communication anymore, he won’t tolerate it. He asked me what I want. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I kinda just wanted fwb type situation in that moment. I said I need time to be sure and we should take things slowly. I said  I have to think and I’ll tell him in person when we meet up.
 

It’s bothering me bc he may be thrilled about it if I told  him the truth, or he may be super offended

 

I do like him and want to kick it  would be great after so long (girl gotta eat) and also I know it just boosts my mood and makes me feel better , but I can live without it and truth be told my romantic feelings for him in particular aren’t that strong,,, like ltr, we just aren’t a match..  too many things. I’m checking for someone else at the moment who I kind of like. I’m so divided, but I’m leaning towards being blunt with him on Monday when we meet and hope it goes okay. 
 

Anyway, thanks for the advice and letting vent . I’ll write how it goes 

Edited May 15, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

Wanna add it’s so appealing because it’s easy, familiar, he’s not a stranger ( which would just be weird for me) and I like him, maybe loved at one point . but I’m ultimately looking for possible lasting love .. and I don’t feel that w him tbh 

Edited May 15, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Alpacalia]

10 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Hi,,,

 

Is it rude to ask an ex bf to be temporary of quarantine bootie call to take the edge off for awhile ? 
 

You have 0 romantic interest in them, but you could use the companionship + they are hot, while you are focusing on some others. Not in those words, but provided he needs the same thing everything would work out great? Let’s say you hinted to it while you were together and he said “I’m not interested in fwb at all.” And then joked “well... maybe” what do you think? Ask with more intent? 
Or just do it and hope for the best

Asking for a friend

Yowza.

 

[Highndry]

Don't make a production out of it. Just be to the point - "Hey, I just feel like having some fun right now and nothing serious. If that's not ok with you then I understand."

[Cookiesandough]

On 5/15/2021 at 11:19 AM, Highndry said:

Don't make a production out of it. Just be to the point - "Hey, I just feel like having some fun right now and nothing serious. If that's not ok with you then I understand."

TY. I’ve decided this what I’m going to do. We’re meeting up tomorrow and I’m gonna tell him this verbatim  and hopefully he’ s cool and we have a good time.,Also if still wants to hook up bc I would probably be down. It’s been a long time and I can’t really do it with strangers (I don’t think) But I’m probably never going to want to do it again. I definitely wouldn’t want to make a habit of it. Just one more time before I start dating again more seriously. Let’s hope this goes okay 🤞 

Edited May 16, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

Gddmn it , never mind .. 😔

Edited May 17, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

He replied we are still on 😔

Edited May 17, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

Sorry... this is kind of being used as a diary thread at this point... but it’s more of the same bull I was dealing with when I was dating him. & I’m not sure I have the patience to deal with it now... 

he’s feeling better , so the original plan was to meet & go for a walk. I said I want to be up late , so I won’t be able to make it out until the evening. He was like earlier would be better for the park, but he agreed. But it’s like rainy and cold today ... so I told him we should cancel the park and just chill inside. He’s said he’s cool with that but the rain has stopped, so it might be a little muddy, but who cares. He said “62 degrees is cold to you?” then he asked me to bring extra clothes just in case. I’m just like **** off , I barely even want to go at this point. I’m not enthusiastic about this to begin with it’s so fcking awkward and maybe not at all worth it. ... I’m already extremely annoyed with this person, because he smothers me like everyone else ffs no one listens to me when I say what time I want to meet and what I want to do 

 

[Cookiesandough]

I was thinking about having a convo in person but now I’m thinking about just texting him I’m lookIng for casual just fun at the moment...  is that okay or not... bc I’m annoyed and just not in a mood 

[poppyfields]

16 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

I was thinking about having a convo in person but now I’m thinking about just texting him I’m lookIng for casual just fun at the moment...  is that okay or not... bc I’m annoyed and just not in a mood 

It sounds messy cookies, I know it's been awhile (the whole girl's gotta eat thing, lol) but may not be worth the hassle.

The whole thing sounds strange anyway, I mean YOU dumped him and he reaches out months later?  

And then tells you to bring a change of clothes "just in case"?  What happened to spontaneity? 

I dunno, major mood killer, would be for me....

Up to you though, good luck whatever you decide.....

 

Edited May 17, 2021 by poppyfields

[Cookiesandough]

23 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

It sounds messy cookies, I know it's been awhile (the whole girl's gotta eat thing, lol) but may not be worth the hassle.

The whole thing sounds strange anyway, I mean YOU dumped him and he reaches out months later?  

And then tells you to bring a change of clothes "just in case"?  What happened to spontaneity? 

I dunno, major mood killer, would be for me....

Up to you though, good luck whatever you decide.....

 

Yea sry poppy the thread was tldr; but I broke up with him bc I said I “needed time to myself to be single” but it was amicable ... then not... then amicable again. But when we originally broke up he cried and was like “maybe down the road?” I guess this is down the road... but I’m still not interested in him like that.... maybe just sexually + friendship but I’m talking to other guys I like more at the moment, but won’t be able to do anything with that until June. So I thought we( my ex and I ) could hang out for a bit 

 

what do you mean spontaneity though? We had the park planned since last week, but it’s rainy and muddy today ... but he also had the idea for dinner at a niceish ( I mean I have to be somewhat presentable) place , so I think that’s why he suggested bringing two clothes. 
 

But the problem is, I tried to cancel the park with him because I think it’s too muddy /cold. But he still wants to go. Yesterday I texted “ Im gonna be up late, so is it cool if we meet around 7” he said that he was hoping I came around 3 or 4ish, and the park closes at 9 blah blah and I’m just like okay whatever. Here was where he started dampering my mood. But he agreed and today I wake up and it’s s******(rained) and chilly out and I texted him “hey... is it cool if we skip the park. It’s rainy and cold out. We should just chill inside” He said he’s cool with that  but then he gives a little **** about it and says we should still go maybe. Wtf 

 

He’s also like “we have a lot to talk about” and I’m like ( in my head) no we don’t lol. But yea my mood is kind of killed for this even being a sex with the ex thing , but I don’t know what to do. He did a really nice thing for me , though, on his trip to Chicago (just gave it to me) awhile ago so I feel like such a jack*ss ... especially since although he reached out to me, it was my idea to meet up again... and now I cancel? Ugh 
 

 

Edited May 17, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Why would an ex you broke up with contact you months later?

Just a random thought, but maybe they cancelled their cable or Netflix?

[poppyfields]

 

>>then he asked me to bring extra clothes just in case.

Maybe I misinterpreted this comment but to me it sounded like he's expecting or at least hoping for sex and for you to spend the night?  Just my read on it.

But that doesn't sound very spontaneous.  I mean given you have not seen each other in months, why not just get together and if the sexual spark is still there, then go for it!    I don't get why it has to be talked about, discussed or planned beforehand.

Doesn't have to lead to anything, like a "relationship," or maybe to him it does, but in any event, it all sounds a bit contrived to me, just me cookies, I'm a bit of a weirdo.  

I am a very spontaneous person and I don't like men assuming things about me (like I am down for having sex with him before we see each other), I'd rather just meet and see what happens, naturally and spontaneously.

I don't even enjoy sexting in these types of situations, I am drawn to the uncertainty of all of it, and prefer to simply play it out when we meet.

That said, if I have misinterpreted this whole situation, my apologies!  I forget what your thread discussing your breakup said.

 

 

 

 

Edited May 17, 2021 by poppyfields

[poppyfields]

Oh I just thought of something!  Did he tell you to bring extra clothes because it's wet and muddy?  Referring to your walk?

I'm so confused now, but leaving it...  I know you will end up doing what you think is best.

Edited May 17, 2021 by poppyfields

[Cookiesandough]

I don’t think it was about sex,  it was about the park. I wouldn’t need extra clothes for sex...lol I live right down the street 

[Cookiesandough]

Just now, poppyfields said:

Oh I just thought of something!  Did he tell you to bring a change of clothes because it's wet and muddy?  Referring to your walk?

I'm so confused now, but leaving it...  I know end up doing what you think is best.

Yea bc we’re going out to a niceish restaurant tonight. Lol I swear no one listens to me at all 

[poppyfields]

8 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

I don’t think it was about sex,  it was about the park. I wouldn’t need extra clothes for sex...lol I live right down the street 

LOL, sorry I get that now!!  

I think I may have been projecting cause whenever a man I'm getting together with tells me to bring extra clothes, it's always meant because he is hoping I stay the night...

But I get it now, and apologies for not getting the whole picture at first, words can sometimes get lost in translation on these types of forums.

Let us know what happens!!  😆

 

Edited May 17, 2021 by poppyfields

[Cookiesandough]

Sorry poppy. I didn’t mean that. I know you listen to me/people here. I am just kind of annoyed and frustrated at the moment with everything because *he
€doesn’t listen to me. I said I didn’t want to go to the park but he is still trying to go. & he also made the comment we’re gonna ride bikes for a bit before, and what on Earth makes him think I want to do that when I said I wanted to come over at 7, now 8 and chills inside? And it’s just more of the same from him throughout the entire relationship and all my other relationships. Like I say I want to come over at 7 or 8 or I don’t want to come over at all and no one hears me and it’s just like “come out” “why aren’t you here?” Friends too. Also this other guy asks me to go on a road trip with him last weekend  and low key makes me feel bad/like a missed opportunity for not being being spontaneous enough, I guess. 

Edited May 17, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

Like even if I was into you that much, why on Earth would I want to be in a rship with you when you clearly cant even consider my needs or something as simple as what I want to do for the day ffs 

Edited May 17, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[poppyfields]

20 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Like even if I was into you that much, why on Earth would I want to be in a rship with you when you clearly cant even consider my needs or something as simple as what I want to do for the day ffs 

I hear ya cookies, yeah it's frustrating.

Anyway, let us know what you decide and if it's to meet, for a walk or whatever 😉 have fun!!