My mom wants me to view her boyfriend as a 'UBER DRIVER' since I am a grown man

[IntBrowser]

I dont own a car right now and get around the city using UBER whenever I have a date or need to go to the supermarket or pharmacy.    So this past saturday I offered to treat my mom to dinner for Mother's day and since she doesn't like to drive she asked could he come along so could take us.   So I made the reservation for 3 on saturday night.    When we arrived he went to look for parking and found a meter and said that he only put enough money in for a hour and have to run back out to put more money in.    So once we started eating I guess he forgot and he got a ticket.   So it was $36 and she sent me a text saying I should have offered to pay since it would have cost about that for a Uber both ways.    And since I catch Uber all the time it would be nice if I could offer him something for picking me up.   He has been with her since 2012 and I thought since he is like family why do I have to treat him like a uber driver?   Plus its not that often I am in his car and the last time he picked me up was last summer.    So I decided to ban myself from getting in any family member's car and if I dont have the funds to attend a family event then I just wont be there.    Yes I know I catch Uber all the time but I thought if a family member picks me up which is only once or twice a year why would I pay them?     So it looks like I wont be seeing my family the rest of the year.

[glows]

Did you pay for dinner?

Why didn't he just pay for the evening or for more than an hour? That is quite silly having to run back and forth like that. 

I'm sorry your mum texted you that. Seems quite petty.

[ShyViolet]

You should have offered to pay his parking ticket?  I do not see the logic in that.  Your mom is being ridiculous.  He got a ticket because he was too cheap to put more money in the meter from the start, and then he forgot to go back when the hour was up.  

[d0nnivain]

Mom is pushy.  She should not have suggested that but once she did, I might have offered to pay 1/2 to keep the peace.  Her BF made the choice to park at a meter.  It was his responsibility to pay attention to the time.  Apparently since your mother also drives, why didn't she remind him to go feed the meter?  However, in your shoes because he drove, it would have been thoughtful of you to offer to pay to garage his car.  You were cognizant of the need to pay for the parking when your bad date drove you down to the waterfront recently.  

At this point losing your family over $36 seems ridiculous on both sides.  

Edited May 12, 2021 by d0nnivain

[IntBrowser]

On 5/10/2021 at 2:54 PM, glows said:

Did you pay for dinner?

Why didn't he just pay for the evening or for more than an hour? That is quite silly having to run back and forth like that. 

I'm sorry your mum texted you that. Seems quite petty.

yes I paid for my moms dinner

[d0nnivain]

6 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

yes I paid for my moms dinner

Does that mean you did not pay for the BF's dinner?  If so that is all the more reason to pay the ticket  because he went out of his way to facilitate mother's day for you & your mom but all he got for his time & trouble were added expenses & stress:  driving, parking, paying for dinner & now the ticket.  

Be more generous of yourself rather than stingy & you will be (philosophically) repaid 100 fold (metaphorically).  

[glows]

I always default to the driver's responsibility for their own car. If others want to offer to pay for parking or contribute, that's a kind gesture. Your car, your responsibility. I drive and in no way would I ever encumber other guests with my parking fees. 

Anyway, sorry this happened. Try keeping it civil as much as possible out of respect for your mother but if you disagree with her mention tactfully that you enjoyed the dinner with her and hope she has a good rest of the week. Don't bother dragging this out or pointing fingers. It's not worth it.