Who is right and who is wrong

[lil_missy]

So last night me and husband went to the casino for a date night.

We had dinner then went to play some texas holdem at the tables. 

He put down a couple hundred and we shared the chips, one of us would play until we lost then the other would play. So we were essentially playing together.

He is the more experienced player so when I'm playing, he'd tell me what to do, whether to bet or fold etc. Even though I do know what I'm doing as well. Once or twice we disagreed what to do and it was not a big deal to me. 

Then when it was his turn to play, he showed me his cards like he always does, he got dealt a double 6. Then he wanted to put a big bet on it, I commented to him "babe, don't, double 6 is not that good. "

Then as a complete shock to me, he got quite annoyed and said " you just gave me bad luck, you don't say that when someone's about to put a bet down. I'm gonna lose now. " then the hand came out and he lost. And he said "I can't play at this table nomore", got up abruptly and left.

I was like what just happened? I just made a comment and he completely over reacted? I said to him when I'm playing he makes comments what I should do, when his playing I do the same, what's his problem? He said anyone that plays poker knows that's bad luck and to not do that and he is superstitious that his luck was ruined now. He said he was annoyed but not angry at me, but he looked and spoke like he was angry. 

And I just felt like we were out to have a good time and he made it seem like winning was more important to him. And I felt embarrassed coz there were other people playing at the table too, and he just kind of berated me in front of other people.

I felt he was being rude and being a jerk about it and he should apologise. What do you guys reckon? 

[Stupidkupid]

I mean, first thing sixes are okay depending on positon and how many people are at the table and what strategy you're playing.

If you're heads up or in position versus the blinds only, everyone folding to you, then sixes is good. You bet but don't go wild.

Why not just play your own chips and your own hands?

On saying that, he over reacted and behaved like a child. He is like the guy at the football game who takes his ball home because he's losing so then no-one can play.

However, it feels like there was probably more to this. Internalised by him perhaps. Have you had a conversation with him about why he reacted so strongly? Perhaps you should start there rather than immediately demanding an apology, try to understand where it came from.

[Wiseman2]

Seems like he is a mansplainer.

Find better ways to entertain yourselves that don't involve bickering and competition.

Hopefully you have your own friends, family, clubs, groups, sports, etc that you can enjoy with heathy competition.

Find more interesting and varied things to do that won't involve this much of his mansplaining at you.

 

[d0nnivain]

Gamblers are superstitious.  You were both wrong but he was rude. 

Next time, play your own hands not "together" & don't comment on the other's play.

[hippychick3]

He was totally wrong to berate you and embarrass you like that in front of other people. If he didn’t like what you said or was upset, he should have told you quietly in your ear or privately later. My ex used to do this, and it was humiliating. I’d never tolerate this behavior again. 

[elaine567]

Are you and your husband back together?

[lil_missy]

14 hours ago, Stupidkupid said:

I mean, first thing sixes are okay depending on positon and how many people are at the table and what strategy you're playing.

If you're heads up or in position versus the blinds only, everyone folding to you, then sixes is good. You bet but don't go wild.

Why not just play your own chips and your own hands?

On saying that, he over reacted and behaved like a child. He is like the guy at the football game who takes his ball home because he's losing so then no-one can play.

However, it feels like there was probably more to this. Internalised by him perhaps. Have you had a conversation with him about why he reacted so strongly? Perhaps you should start there rather than immediately demanding an apology, try to understand where it came from.

Thanks! We have been having issues so it may be internal , but he can also have a bad temper and say nasty things when he is angry so it could also just be who he is. 

[lil_missy]

9 hours ago, hippychick3 said:

He was totally wrong to berate you and embarrass you like that in front of other people. If he didn’t like what you said or was upset, he should have told you quietly in your ear or privately later. My ex used to do this, and it was humiliating. I’d never tolerate this behavior again. 

Thanks! I really agree with you, I felt so humiliated. He doesn't do this often though, I can't really think of other instances he has berated me in public. But he also takes gambling too seriously, that is my other issue with him. 

The day after he tried to be super nice to me, obviously trying to sick up without actually apologising. 

I'm so annoyed that he almost never apologises for anything! 

Edited May 17, 2021 by lil_missy

[lil_missy]

9 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Are you and your husband back together?

We are working on things, but to be honest it's being very volatile. We have a fight almost every week. And this lately outburst from him makes me just want to be done. 

The day after he tried to suck up to me again but he never apologised 

[LuckyM]

He is angry about something else entirely. He would not get so upset about one comment. It is not logical. What else happened to spark this? More to the story?  He probably won't want to explain

Edited May 21, 2021 by LuckyM
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[Beentheretoooften]

On 5/16/2021 at 5:54 AM, Stupidkupid said:

I mean, first thing sixes are okay depending on positon and how many people are at the table and what strategy you're playing.

If you're heads up or in position versus the blinds only, everyone folding to you, then sixes is good. You bet but don't go wild.

Why not just play your own chips and your own hands?

On saying that, he over reacted and behaved like a child. He is like the guy at the football game who takes his ball home because he's losing so then no-one can play.

However, it feels like there was probably more to this. Internalised by him perhaps. Have you had a conversation with him about why he reacted so strongly? Perhaps you should start there rather than immediately demanding an apology, try to understand where it came from.

I don’t think This was a cash game. There is a version where you play against the dealer etc 

generally, pocket 6’s arE playable in any position...for me anyway

 

[Wiseman2]

On 5/16/2021 at 8:08 PM, lil_missy said:

We are working on things, but to be honest it's being very volatile. We have a fight almost every week. And this lately outburst from him makes me just want to be done. 

So do that. He's abusive so you can't  "work on that". 

Contact an attorney for advice on your options in divorce. Also consult your own therapist to help navigate this.

Do not tell him this. Stop arguing. Just walk away.

Read up on abusive relationships. See what fits and what you can do to break free.

[Sun Seeker]

Uh pocket 6s... I lost £100 to them on the weekend when I had AQ and the flop was AQ6

[Stupidkupid]

10 hours ago, Beentheretoooften said:

I don’t think This was a cash game. There is a version where you play against the dealer etc 

generally, pocket 6’s arE playable in any position...for me anyway

 

I think you and I have definitely focused on the right things here! Ha.

I hate the poker versus dealer games, I find them a bit dry!

[Beentheretoooften]

19 hours ago, Punterxx said:

Uh pocket 6s... I lost £100 to them on the weekend when I had AQ and the flop was AQ6

You both thought you were trapping the other.  Tough beat