I cheated on my wife and destroyed her life. I want her back

[AngeloLombardo]

3 hours ago, mark clemson said:

Must be a very different jurisdiction indeed.

 

Correct. An Ex Partè can be granted day of. Jurisdiction indeed differ. The one I practice in allows for a day of face to face with the judge. Been in the thick of it going on 26 yrs from NYC, Mo and Chicago

[AngeloLombardo]

3 hours ago, mark clemson said:

Perhaps she could file a temporary one in a shorter time. But why file a temporary one (that only lasts a few weeks) if he hasn't done enough to make it worth following up with filing a permanent one. And for THAT he has to have actually DONE something of significance. Temporary ones really don't do much.

There are other things too, such as why is she going out on dates with men if she's not interested in sleeping with anyone since she's still married. How would you even know WHAT her attitude was if you haven't been in touch with her at all?

Sorry, but for me this is simply not adding up.

Going on dates with men if married? What do you classify as a DATE. I can tell you meet me at Starbucks at three, it's a date. A date is anytime you make a plan to meet up. No? What do you mean how do I know what her attitude is?  Assumption? Possibly? A  concerned friend telling me what's going on? You make no sense. You file a Temp order because ITS QUICK! ex parte, restraining order....Whatever unless that piece of paper magically turns into a bullet proof vest or is kryptonite they don't work. Especially for those who have mental illness like this man has. It's just a piece of paper that makes someone feel secure. That only works AFTER the fact of an incident. Many people disregard a piece of paper

[AngeloLombardo]

2 minutes ago, AngeloLombardo said:

Going on dates with men if married? What do you classify as a DATE. I can tell you meet me at Starbucks at three, it's a date. A date is anytime you make a plan to meet up. No? What do you mean how do I know what her attitude is?  Assumption? Possibly? A  concerned friend telling me what's going on? You make no sense. You file a Temp order because ITS QUICK! ex parte, restraining order....Whatever unless that piece of paper magically turns into a bullet proof vest or is kryptonite they don't work. Especially for those who have mental illness like this man has. It's just a piece of paper that makes someone feel secure. That only works AFTER the fact of an incident. Many people disregard a piece of paper. Google may not be the spot to educate yourself on how the legal system fails so many. Especially women.

 

[mark clemson]

What does it matter how I define date? You used the term, and the romantic intentions it implies, instead of e.g. "lunch meeting".

Your wife is going on dates, but not interested in sex. Doesn't make sense. You stated it's because she's still married. But how would you know this? You seem to be asking ME to fill in the apparent holes in your story for you.

For a man who's wife was raped and shot (but quite fortunately "fully recovered", guess it was a 9 mm?) but became pregnant, you seem overly concerned about what an internet stranger thinks about the veracity of your story. I'm not intending a debate OR to offend you. I'm entitled to my view and assessment. For my part, I have little interest in continuing this argument with you.

[sandylee1]

Just leave her alone. Don't attempt to contact her, not directly and just to get divorced and untie yourselves legally. 

You have a child from the affair, your estranged wife has a baby....just leave it all in your past. 

The affair was with a family friend too...double betrayal. 

Get some therapy and work on yourself. Try and be a better man in the future. You can't be responsible for a rapist and his violent actions. 

[GiuliaS]

22 hours ago, mark clemson said:

What does it matter how I define date? You used the term, and the romantic intentions it implies, instead of e.g. "lunch meeting".

Your wife is going on dates, but not interested in sex. Doesn't make sense. You stated it's because she's still married. But how would you know this? You seem to be asking ME to fill in the apparent holes in your story for you.

For a man who's wife was raped and shot (but quite fortunately "fully recovered", guess it was a 9 mm?) but became pregnant, you seem overly concerned about what an internet stranger thinks about the veracity of your story. I'm not intending a debate OR to offend you. I'm entitled to my view and assessment. For my part, I have little interest in continuing this argument with you.

Just because a woman goes on dates doesn't mean she wants sex. That's a ignorant statement. I read it and the man said. The attacker was interested in more. The wife WAS NOT. Therefore he attacked her. I don't see holes in his story. I see someone who may not have 100% facts. I myself am going through some things similar. And if internet strangers aren't on the site to help. Then get the f*** off. Get a job or something. We're here for help. Not to be judged by someone who has ignorant opinions.