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She said she wants us to meet as FRIENDS and its our 1st meet? Now Im getting rejected and havent met yet? lol

IntBrowser

By IntBrowser
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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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I rematched with someone I used to talk to 6 years ago but never met face to face.   We talked on the phone a lot but ee kind of lost contact and was setting up a face to face meeting for this weekend and she was like can we go out as friends?    Now the only reason I am agreeing to go is because I think she is HOT and but I am wondering why a woman would wake up and get in the shower and get dress and get in her car to burn gas to meet a guy she just wants to be friends with in the park???     Does that sound odd to anyone else?    I figured she would use that energy to meet another guy on the dating app.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Are you sure she's still hot?

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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31 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

was setting up a face to face meeting for this weekend and she was like can we go out as friends?  

Generally it means no sex on the first date. Go...or don't go if you can't be bothered with showering, uber, etc.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

I am wondering why a woman would wake up and get in the shower and get dress and get in her car to burn gas to meet a guy she just wants to be friends with in the park???    

I do all that just to go grocery shopping because since the covid I am locked up in my house, working from home in my pj's, and any opportunity to dress up and go out is a good opportunity. I would absolutely get dressed up to meet a man that might turn into a bf, or just into a friend. Maybe she thinks like me. 

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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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49 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Generally it means no sex on the first date. Go...or don't go if you can't be bothered with showering, uber, etc.

She wants to meet at a local city park and walk and talk

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
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13 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I do all that just to go grocery shopping because since the covid I am locked up in my house, working from home in my pj's, and any opportunity to dress up and go out is a good opportunity. I would absolutely get dressed up to meet a man that might turn into a bf, or just into a friend. Maybe she thinks like me. 

agreed. that's really weird to put so much emphasis on literally everything a person does in their daily life for any mundane task.

 

accepting to meet you is a start, maybe she just doesn't want to label it as a "date" until you actually meet in person and see if there is chemistry

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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

I rematched with someone I used to talk to 6 years ago but never met face to face.   We talked on the phone a lot but ee kind of lost contact and was setting up a face to face meeting for this weekend and she was like can we go out as friends?    Now the only reason I am agreeing to go is because I think she is HOT and but I am wondering why a woman would wake up and get in the shower and get dress and get in her car to burn gas to meet a guy she just wants to be friends with in the park???     Does that sound odd to anyone else?    I figured she would use that energy to meet another guy on the dating app.

Asking to meet as friends is to ease the pressure of "connecting romantically" which is so much what OLDing is about.  And that pressure to romantically connect is precisely why in many cases, two people WON'T connect!  

This is true for me anyway, which is one reason why I cannot stand on line dating..

When you meet as "friends" there is no pressure, it's more relaxed and if there is an attraction, it will happen naturally and organically...

I am not sure why folks are so against this.  I mean what do you expect, you're going to meet and immediately click and begin dating?  That's unrealistic.

When you meet someone in the real world, you chat as "friends" and if there is an attraction, you take it from there.  Escalate.

On line dating should be no different imho.

RELAX!!  ENJOY!   If there is an attraction, you can escalate but you won't know that until you meet..

 

Edited by poppyfields
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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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4 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Asking to meet as friends is to ease the pressure of "connecting romantically" which is so much what OLDing is about.  And that pressure to romantically connect is precisely why in many cases, two people WON'T connect!  

This is true for me anyway, which is one reason why I cannot stand on line dating..

When you meet as "friends" there is no pressure, it's more relaxed and if there is an attraction, it will happen naturally and organically...

I am not sure why folks are so against this.  I mean what do you expect, you're going to meet and immediately click and begin dating?  That's unrealistic.

When you meet someone in the real world, you chat as "friends" and if there is an attraction, you take it from there.  Escalate.

On line dating should be no different imho.

RELAX!!  ENJOY!   If there is an attraction, you can escalate but you won't know that until you meet..

 

Ok I was thinking "why even go out to see me if you just see me as a friend"     I guess that makes sense

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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Generally it means no sex on the first date. Go...or don't go if you can't be bothered with showering, uber, etc.

I sent her this text............."so you want to wake up get in the shower and get dressed and get in your car and drive to meet me in the park as friends?

 

Her response......."yes"

 

lol lol

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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1 minute ago, IntBrowser said:

I sent her this text............."so you want to wake up get in the shower and get dressed and get in your car and drive to meet me in the park as friends? Her response......."yes

Do you want to bother? Who contact whom after al this time? Did she just get divorced/dumped?

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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you want to bother? Who contact whom after al this time? Did she just get divorced/dumped?

divorced

poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

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18 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

Ok I was thinking "why even go out to see me if you just see me as a friend"     I guess that makes sense

That is all you are to her right now, as it should be, she has not talked to you in six years!  Nor has she ever even met you!

That doesn't mean once you meet, and there is an attraction, it can't be more than friends, but that's how it starts out.

It's often unspoken, but she spoke it, again to ease the pressure.

What if she had said "I hope we can pick up where we left off and this time begin a 'relationship.'  I want marriage so hopefully in a year, we can be married!"

That would scare the living daylights out of most men (and women, speaking personally), so you meet as friends, and see where it takes you.

That's my take anyway....  it would actually be my preference if I ever do OLDing again.

 

Edited by poppyfields
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introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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Posted
1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

 I am wondering why a woman would wake up and get in the shower and get dress and get in her car to burn gas to meet a guy she just wants to be friends with in the park???     Does that sound odd to anyone else?    I figured she would use that energy to meet another guy on the dating app.

Many of us wake up, shower, and dress every day, date or not.  😉

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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10 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

divorced

Ok, she just wants to backtrack for male attention. Don't play therapist/attorney to anyone. Especially if you would rather date romantically than simply entertain recently divorced women who are bored and lonely.

Edited by Wiseman2
poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok, she just wants to backtrack for male attention. Don't play therapist/attorney to anyone. Especially if you would rather date romantically than simply entertain recently divorced women who are bored and lonely.

You don't know that Wiseman.  Why discourage this?  Why not meet casually (as "friends") and play it out?

You never know, it's been six years, it's not uncommon for people to circle back to an old interest when a relationship or marriage ends.

For either one to expect a romantic interest right off the bat without having talked for six years, or even met, is completely unrealistic.

What else do you have going on OP?  

 

 

Edited by poppyfields
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introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

You don't know that Wiseman.  Why discourage this?  Why not meet casually (as "friends") and play it out?

Exactly.

Plus, OP can get some much-needed practice in interacting in a light-hearted, playful way with a woman.  As long as he goes into it with the right mind-set -- open to possibilities without  expecting any particular outcome -- he should be able to have an enjoyable evening.  Not every date is going to lead to marriage and it's silly to approach them as such. 

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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22 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I sent her this text............."so you want to wake up get in the shower and get dressed and get in your car and drive to meet me in the park as friends?

You really have endless ways of shooting yourself in the foot IntBrowser. 

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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33 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

Ok I was thinking "why even go out to see me if you just see me as a friend"   

She did not say she only sees you as a friend.

She said she wants to first meet as friends.

Big difference.

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introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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27 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I sent her this text............."so you want to wake up get in the shower and get dressed and get in your car and drive to meet me in the park as friends?

🤦‍♀️

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dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

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16 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

She did not say she only sees you as a friend.

She said she wants to first meet as friends.

Big difference.

What's the most likely scenario?  That she wants to be friends and not a romantic partner.

If this were someone that she had a high level of attraction to, someone she saw as a "10", would she risk him misinterpreting things by saying she wanted to meet up as friends?  No.

Don't give the guy false hope, unless he's ok with being just friends.

Edited by dramafreezone
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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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4 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

 

What's the most likely scenario?  That she wants to be friends and not a romantic partner.

If this were someone that she had a high level of attraction to, someone she saw as a "10", would she risk him misinterpreting things by saying she wanted to meet up as friends?  No.

Don't give the guy false hope.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.....

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dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

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Just now, smackie9 said:

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.....

OP can do what he wants. 

I just think a better use of his time would be with women that are actually interested in him and don't preface the meeting under the guise of friendship.

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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

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11 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

 

What's the most likely scenario?  That she wants to be friends and not a romantic partner.

If this were someone that she had a high level of attraction to, someone she saw as a "10", would she risk him misinterpreting things by saying she wanted to meet up as friends?  No.

DFZ, they have never met in real life and haven't talked in SIX years.

Me thinks some of you guys really need to slow your role.

You place so much freakin pressure on women, talking about "high level of attraction," again they haven't talked in six years, nor ever met, to expect her to have a "high level of attraction" at this point, I dunno, you're living in some sort of never never land.

And when she doesn't have this immediate "high level of attraction," it's a "why bother" or straight dump.

No disrespect, but step away from your ego cause that's all that is imho.

Edited by poppyfields
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dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

DFZ, they have never met in real life and haven't talked in SIX years.

Me thinks some of you guys really need to slow your role.

You place so much freakin pressure on women, talking about "high level of attraction," again they haven't talked in six years, nor ever met, to expect her to have a "high level of attraction" at this point, I dunno, you're living in some sort of never never land.

And when she doesn't have this immediate "high level of attraction," it's a "why bother" or straight dump.

No disrespect, but step away from your ego cause that's all that is imho.

I'm trying to help the OP out.  Can you see that he's already somewhat resentful of this woman and they've not even gone out yet?  I don't see the point in going forward for him.  They're too far apart in expectations.

I have no skin in the game here.  If he wants to go out with her then by all means he should.  I've seen him on here before though, he gets attached and hurt very easily.

Edited by dramafreezone
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

Posted
Posted

 

4 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

I just think a better use of his time would be with women that are actually interested in him and don't preface the meeting under the guise of friendship.

OP has been on this site for years, bemoaning the fact that he can't find a woman interested in him.  If you read his past threads, it's clear that a big part of the problem is that he simply doesn't know how to interact with women, whether as friends, potential romantic partners, or anything else. 

No one is suggesting that this date will turn into cinderella-like wonderfulness. Rather, we are suggesting that he go into it with an open mind and use this opportunity to practice his social skills.  That way, when he meets a woman who is up for more than friendship, there is a chance she will be up for more than friendship with him.

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