CollinW Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 5 hours ago, salparadise said: I am just amazed by these threads where women define what men should be. Why do we not see the equivalent from the other perspective? Because men don't date for validation, we date for happiness. Women find happiness in dating through validation. And I think it's fair to say that threads posted on LS prove that. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 5 hours ago, salparadise said: I am just amazed by these threads where women define what men should be. Why do we not see the equivalent from the other perspective? Did you read OP's thread to understand why she has come to this thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: Did you read OP's thread to understand why she has come to this thinking. Yes, I followed the thread- not sure if I read every post. She has a guy she's been talking to and he isn't pursuing hard, not asking for dates, etc. Maybe he's playing hard-to-get... maybe he actually IS hard-to-get. I think she should take some initiative herself instead of defaulting to rigid gender roles and expectations. But the broader topic has been how women expect men to be, and the crux of it is that they're supposed to be pre-sold from the git-go, smitten, obesessed... while she plays it cool, feigns demure, throws up obstacles, and judges him qualitatively. Such a trope. Edited June 9, 2021 by salparadise 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa_Lisa Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 On 5/26/2021 at 1:25 PM, Emilyinroses said: I wasn’t aware of attachment styles either until this year. That book changed my life! I am now able to identify my own behaviours and patterns and understand how by being anxious I relate to avoidants and its dynamic. I’m reaching a point where I don’t feel attracted to avoidants anymore, because I am becoming secure. Now I feel secure is the new sexy 😍 Someone who is open, direct, genuine, available, consistent, plays no games, wow! You’re welcome! I think everyone should read that book! I read that book and it made me aware of the attachment styles, and gave examples of people in those styles, but I'm anxious attachment, and reading the book has not made it go away. I'm just aware of it, but despite logically thinking I shouldn't be when it comes to men I like it's my default mode. So I guess only deep therapy and analysis will actually help you overcome those situations. If a guy isn't making plans to see you, then drop him to the bottom of the totem pole. I think the main takeaway from this thread is: DON'T OVERLY INVEST YOUR EMOTIONS IN A STRANGER! Go with the flow, it's if not making you happy, find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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