Needadvice123

[Dontknow123]

Hey guys need a little advice. I got with a woman after my relationship had ended and it was all fun and exciting at the start we partied together all the time and had loads of fun because she was the opposite of my ex. 
 

Then after about 3 months and the partying started dying down i realised I wasn’t really that attracted to her or wanted a relationship with her and she just filled some void and healed my heart break for a little while. I found a new group of friends during all this also so life was one big party,she was staying over almost every single night and I wasn’t lonely anymore. But after the novelty started wearing off I knew I couldn’t  hide my feelings anymore and wanted to go back home to my ex and I started distancing myself from new partner because I knew I didn’t love her in anyway.

then just before I was about to end things she found out she was pregnant and that she had stopped taking her contraception without me knowing so now I’m still in this relationship with a baby on the way that’s due in a few short months but my feelings still haven’t changed for her. I’ve stayed with her because I thought my feelings would eventually change,I’m not talking to my ex anymore so I could concentrate on her and the baby but it’s not happening,could feelings grow once my feelings for my ex have disappeared??? I didn’t want her to keep the baby but she was adamant she wanted it so I’ve just kept quite and got on with things. We don’t really see each other much now since she’s become pregnant,yeah we argue but she’s alway the first to want to sort things out but she moans when ever I want to go out with my friends. She’s been wanting to get a house before baby arrives but I really don’t want to live together so I’ve put her off doing that. I think I was drunk the whole of my relationship at the start and she’s not a person I would usually go for although she is a nice person I’m just not physically attracted to her it’s like I had beer Goggles on the whole time and I feel awful for saying that. I am really trying with her but I know she’s just not the person I want to be with

[Sun Seeker]

No your feelings will not change.

Talk to her and tell her you want to end the relationship. I'm not sure exactly what you are waiting for?

She might be sad but she will get over it and will be fine.

 

[d0nnivain]

Your feelings will not change.  You don't love her & never will  It's unfortunate but now you are trapped. You & she are now tied together for the rest of your lives by the child you share. 

You need to sit down & talk to a lawyer about your child support obligations & set up a co-parenting schedule but you need to make it clear to her that her fantasy about you all becoming a family is not happening.  

[Dontknow123]

1 hour ago, Punterxx said:

No your feelings will not change.

Talk to her and tell her you want to end the relationship. I'm not sure exactly what you are waiting for?

She might be sad but she will get over it and will be fine.

 

I’m just scared to end it as I don’t want to cause her stress that may harm the baby and another reason to make sure I get my name on the birth certificate. My mum has advised me also to end it because she said a baby will not change your feelings towards her and she’s noticed when I look at her I look at her with hate even though I don’t hate her and I don’t even realise I do it. I’ve always wanted a baby but it’s the person I wanted a baby too 

[Dontknow123]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

Your feelings will not change.  You don't love her & never will  It's unfortunate but now you are trapped. You & she are now tied together for the rest of your lives by the child you share. 

You need to sit down & talk to a lawyer about your child support obligations & set up a co-parenting schedule but you need to make it clear to her that her fantasy about you all becoming a family is not happening.  

I just kept thinking once the baby comes I’ll be happy and my feelings will actually come for her but maybe I’m just clinging onto hope because I never wanted to be a parent that’s not with the mother but I don’t know how much longer I can live like this faking things when she thinks things are fine,although we do argue. She’s not very mature as she’s only 22 and I think she will use the child against me 

[d0nnivain]

You will develop feelings for the baby not the mother.  

[Sun Seeker]

2 hours ago, Dontknow123 said:

I’m just scared to end it as I don’t want to cause her stress that may harm the baby and another reason to make sure I get my name on the birth certificate. My mum has advised me also to end it because she said a baby will not change your feelings towards her and she’s noticed when I look at her I look at her with hate even though I don’t hate her and I don’t even realise I do it. I’ve always wanted a baby but it’s the person I wanted a baby too 

It will be more harm and stress the longer you leave it. Listen to your mum.

[Dontknow123]

1 hour ago, Punterxx said:

It will be more harm and stress the longer you leave it. Listen to your mum.

So don’t you think it’s because my feelings are more towards my ex that I can’t get feelings for new girlfriend? I can’t believe my life and I’ve ruined everything with my ex who stuck by me through everything for a little excitement that’s now wore off! I wish I did it sooner because I had these feelings I wanted to end it for about 6 weeks then was faxed out again due to going out all the time,if I acted then she wouldn’t have been pregnant 

[Dontknow123]

3 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You will develop feelings for the baby not the mother.  

I know I’ve just been trying to concentrate on her and the baby to make things work and I know it’s not going to happen,it’s been almost 11 months together now and I’m getting stressed because she keeps mentioning getting a house 

[d0nnivain]

You need to tell her that is not going to happen. This woman things you love her & you will be a happy family.  Stop lying to her by omission.