How do I get a girlfriend who will accept my situation

[1D9G8C6]

On 6/5/2021 at 1:44 PM, Abhainn said:

First of all,  I would like to apologize to the OP because this feels to me as a person with a disability (Ehlers Danlos syndrome) that this is a question you should never be asked. It just feels like there is so much judgement coming from a stranger about how you manage your life and funds in this question. I appreciate so much your gentle response to the question, but also just know from experience how much people when they find out you have some sort of a disability, feel like they have a right to a whole lot more information about you and your disability, even when they barely know you. 

Since I'm not sure where you live and you definitely shouldn't tell me on a forum like this, I can't offer to look up resources for you. What I can do is generally suggest moving away from online dating platforms altogether (I mean, they are seriously screwing with relationships and the way they play out and relationship researchers are actually scratching their heads and investigating concepts like relational disposability and other things to figure out why relationships are not lasting, fewer relationships are being formed and other things going on right now and last I knew they were looking into whether dating platforms were contributing to this) and looking for groups with both fellow autistics/neurodivergent folk and folk familiar with the beautful neurodivergent life (neurodivergent ADHDer here also) as a jumping off point for meeting folks. 

I would steer away from believing that you have to be with someone that also has autism (or is autistic since I'm not sure how you choose to identify in that manner).rather just someone who values you for you and meets you where you are instead of demanding that you behave and act neurotypically all the time to make them happy. You deserve more. You deserve to be able to relax into your own way of being and relating. It sounds like you are feeling really isolated without transportation available. I don't want to assume that you haven't already checked out area independence disability centers that might be able to hook you up with transportation options that might be available so you can meet someone downtown or get out some and meet people, and also don't want to assume that you have or have knowledge that places like that exist for you to find, that would give you those services likely without need for payment since you are already on disability. I hope you can find some ways to get out and decrease your loneliness both with friends and hopefully experiences with relationships.

Please keep us posted, I am so rooting for you!

To be honest, my deepest wish now, is just to pass away, I dont believe in suicide directly but I am so isolated every day now since 2016, I pretty much do nothing but sit inside in the quiet wishing I had friends because making them online doesnt help, there are no services around me, nothing is. I have no transportation of any kind to anything of any kind, not even an ambulance will come out this far. I am the only member of my family that is a failure, only member not to ever have been kissed or had a gf or an education, I was born alone I will die alone and be sent to hell because I despise a god who ignores all my prayers. My mother who is my only friend who tries to listen when she isn't in the hospital is dying and when she leaves me, ill have no access whatso ever to get food or anything. The one thing I wished I could have had, was the feeling of being wanted or lived by another, even if it only lasted a minute. The sadest thing to me is that my dreams are the only place I can be happy because I can dream about having a gf or a family of my own, and because of this, I take a mixture of melotonin and seraquill every day and night so i can sleep all day and night so i can stay in dream as long as i can because it is the only place i can find happiness. But, i also gave up on eating as well because as it stands even now, my mothers situation is much worse and ive given up on asking for transportation for food, i dont have the heart too because shes so sick now, and that said, its been 3 days since i last ate. I dont even care anymore. And as I said, I just want this to end. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I really wanted dating sites to work. On ok cupid, i get called broken, POF, i get called a loser, EHarmony, I get called defective loser, and so on. How could anyone ever accept a person, who has nothing at all on any level to offer but love itself, they evedently cant, and if i was in their shoes i could understand. But like I said, i have given up, I accept that i am just dispoable defective trash to be avoided, that said, death is my ultimate goal as there is no other option. So thanks for your kind words, but my situation is far more hopless and worse than i can explain here.

[SumGuy]

@1D9G8C6  Agreed you are not useless or disposable and can say from your very writing here of some ability and intelligence.  Trust me on that, have drafted for 6th grade education readers and edited much writing.

I also cannot nay say the difficulties you face.  If you location is correct have been down 22 past where you live.  Rural is a good description, but if it makes you feel any better have lived in more remote places :).   I do not know if you can even get amazon etc. delivery and wouldn't be surprised if don't even get mail to your door.   Also cannot nay say the lack of public resources, LA is consistently the worst or nears worst US state in this regard in almost every category.

Given your conditions limits work and driving, can you do outdoor things?   Fish, hunt, garden? 

There are also intersections that don't require a lot of physical ability, e.g. you may have someone help you set up some critter cam and you can curate it on-line.  You live in an area like chock full of nature...people in urban areas can love these things, especially if a gator shows up  , you can also spin it as the other side of Duck Dynasty    

Also, have you considered on-line support groups?  You are not the only one suffering from your medical and other issues, there are those on-line who are determined to help those who fall through the cracks...even with just emotional support.  Believe it or not, you may provide inspiration and a shoulder for others, you know what they are going through, you can hear them.  

Forget the dating site a**h*ts; there is always someone who will tell you how much a "failure" you are or how unattractive...often unsolicited.   I've gotten it, and even hot women do.  There is always some Karen (or male equivalent) who wants to tell you how you are doing it wrong.

In short, given the internet there is likely an audience and people you can reach even if physically trapped (it does seem that you have connectivity).

I'm not saying that dating will be easy where you are, but perhaps connection with others is possible (just not through a dating app).

Last, I won't go into the counting your blessings what you do have or it could all be worse, suspect you have heard that all before...and I know it can help but doesn't necessarily solve things that are bad enough.

[Abhainn]

On 7/17/2021 at 9:31 AM, 1D9G8C6 said:

To be honest, my deepest wish now, is just to pass away, I dont believe in suicide directly but I am so isolated every day now since 2016, I pretty much do nothing but sit inside in the quiet wishing I had friends because making them online doesnt help, there are no services around me, nothing is. I have no transportation of any kind to anything of any kind, not even an ambulance will come out this far. I am the only member of my family that is a failure, only member not to ever have been kissed or had a gf or an education, I was born alone I will die alone and be sent to hell because I despise a god who ignores all my prayers. My mother who is my only friend who tries to listen when she isn't in the hospital is dying and when she leaves me, ill have no access whatso ever to get food or anything. The one thing I wished I could have had, was the feeling of being wanted or lived by another, even if it only lasted a minute. The sadest thing to me is that my dreams are the only place I can be happy because I can dream about having a gf or a family of my own, and because of this, I take a mixture of melotonin and seraquill every day and night so i can sleep all day and night so i can stay in dream as long as i can because it is the only place i can find happiness. But, i also gave up on eating as well because as it stands even now, my mothers situation is much worse and ive given up on asking for transportation for food, i dont have the heart too because shes so sick now, and that said, its been 3 days since i last ate. I dont even care anymore. And as I said, I just want this to end. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I really wanted dating sites to work. On ok cupid, i get called broken, POF, i get called a loser, EHarmony, I get called defective loser, and so on. How could anyone ever accept a person, who has nothing at all on any level to offer but love itself, they evedently cant, and if i was in their shoes i could understand. But like I said, i have given up, I accept that i am just dispoable defective trash to be avoided, that said, death is my ultimate goal as there is no other option. So thanks for your kind words, but my situation is far more hopless and worse than i can explain here.

It sounds like the part of you that feels so lonely and helpless really does feel so much like dying. The fact that you're posting this, though, shows both of us that there is a part of you that still wants to stay safe, even if its really hard to feel right now. 

There is a person on the other end of the suicide prevention lifeline, 1 800 273 8255 who will spend time with you listening and talking with you about both of those parts of you right now and who can help you make the best decision for yourself at this moment. 

Also, I don't know your experiences, if you've ever been helped (or burned by) social workers, but it sounds like someone who can help connect you to resources, support your fundamental autonomy in getting access to food, transportation, and the things you need to have a meaningful life could be so helpful. If you google "find a social worker near me" it can bring up nearby social workers and they should be able to connect you to one near you. Another way to go, might be to google and contact your nearest community mental health center, and they may be able to also connect you to social workers, disability independence groups, or others who can help (even if they are farther away) or at the least help move you after your mother's passing (so sorry for your loss, it sounds like she has been a super important support for you!) to somewhere where you can get the things you need.  

Also, if this feels like something safe for you to do (like this probably wouldn't feel helpful or safe for good reason if you are a BIPOC person) but maybe reaching out to local police or emergency to let them know you haven't eaten in three days, so that maybe they can help get you food. When you're that hungry, it can be so hard to feel any sense of hope or be able to think through possibilities when you're in as difficult a situation as you are in. 

Praying for you and really hope you reach out to the suicide prevention lifeline number that I posted above, they can also probably connect you with community resources to access food, medicine, and things you need right away while they talk through your feelings of wanting to die with you!

 

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 5/24/2021 at 10:20 PM, 1D9G8C6 said:

Hello everyone, I am Derek, I am 35 years of age. My situation is this, i do have asperges  syndrom, a severe learning disability that caused me tofail atgetting an education and prevents me from getting one now. When I focus on trying to get one my mind freezes and i start paniking, its the same with trying to work, and is why I cant work. I live off SSI$1300 month. I cant drive, cook, Ive never had se y or even been kissed or been with a girl in the same room except for family or families friends. I am lonely, but hide it ok, how can i find a girlfriend or what dating site can i use to find a girlfriend who might accept me for me? Ive a good personality and sense of humor, i have money, around 700 after bills and everything so i can provide for her. I am the only member in my family and family's  family who is still single. How can i find a girlfriend, what dating site should i use and what do i ssy in my profile? Also, i live in the countryside because i cant afford to live in the city and theres not even an uber, taxi, or anything outhere, and ive no friends, or family that can help.

This is a hard situation because your dating pool is more limited. Are there any adult activities you can get into where there are other autistic adults? Are you a client of your local regional center or a social worker who can point you to activities?

[ZA Dater]

My advice is value yourself and be a bit easier on yourself, its very easy to load the weight of the world and blame ourselves for everything but you do not really accomplish much by doing that, love yourself a bit more and realize that there are some good people in this world.

[1D9G8C6]

On 7/19/2021 at 5:54 PM, Olivia24 said:

Thats an amazing post!! Please  look into that suicide  hotline!!

i have tried the suicide hotline, and they tell me about a bunch of services that when i call dont provide transportation this far out and have no offices anywhere near nme

[1D9G8C6]

On 7/20/2021 at 1:04 PM, CaliforniaGirl said:

This is a hard situation because your dating pool is more limited. Are there any adult activities you can get into where there are other autistic adults? Are you a client of your local regional center or a social worker who can point you to activities?

No sadly, I live in an extremely secluded area with nothing around me i can get to and i have no transportation of any kind.  To be completely honest, I feel like death is my best option but cant comit suicide due to extreme fear of hell. But I am the only member of my family that has never been kised, hugged dated or had any kind of afection from a girl that wasnt family. I am so jelous of everyone with a girlfriend, I cant bear to even watch tv anymore, listen to the radio or anything because its all too depressing because everyone has a girlfriend on tv or songs on the radio are about some kind of relationship. Its been 2 months now since i blacked out even the sun in my windows and i have been taking sleeping pills morning and night while eating once every two days, im just giving up, its the only thing i can do. I cam on here to maybe grab ahold of a little hope, but i ws obviously too stupid to see there is none.  To have hope there must be some kind of resource known or unknown that one can find and exploit, but i seen now that i simply have no hope because i have no resources, i dont even own a cell phone not even a house phone, never have, i never trusted cell phone companies because i dont like having records of what all my conversations and theres no privacy. Anyway, The biggest mistake i ever made was moving out here. I might delete this account soon and just stop eating all together, but idk, I am trying to hold on to hope even though i know its fake.

[1D9G8C6]

Look I will just say this so people will know.

I live in total isolated area thanks to a horrific flood in louisiana in 2016 that took everything from me., I dont own a phone of any kind, I have never had any friends, never been hugged or kissed by anyone outside my own family. I eat once every two days to rashion food and because i dont care about health as theres no reason too. I havent been outside in 6 1/2 months now during the day, only a night i have gone out to get food from the dollar store which is an embarrising pain. I have asperges sindrom and have zero education whatsoever, im on a 1st grade working lvl but can read fine.  I wont spell check anything here so anyone can see how i really type. I have an infection in my teeth that will kill me but no transportation to get it fixed, other very bad medical issues as well and no, not even an ambulance comes out this fat so calling for help that way doesnt work, and id need a phone to do that anyway.  I dont watch tv because seeing people with other people or even having the ability to live and interact with other people make me jelous and depressed which is bad because that makes me suicidal. i dont listen to the radio for the same reson. I havent seen the light of day for month and dont care too because all i think about when i do is the pop;le out there who are enjoying it with their wives, girlfriends or friends.  I will never go to god as some would say because i hate him as much as satan hates jesus. So i sit in my dark room month after month taking melotonin i get from the dolarstore through out the day, once in the morning and everytime i wake up except for times i plan to look online for some fragment of hope which i never find because its always leads back to the ( i feel sorry for your situation, hang in there something will change there must be a way stuff) That byw I am thankful that people car but, i read these nice cpmments in complete darkness in a room so quiet the sound of me typing is louder than a slaming door to me. Truth is I live out of fear of hell, thats it, if i didnt have that fear, id kill myself along time ago. No life is not worth living if you have no one to share it with. ANd after my mother dies, ill have no way to get foood from. And no, my mother cant take me anywhere because shes sick, is underweight, 94lbs, refuses to go back to the hospital and has a feeding tuse shes connects to every night. Igrew up with an abusive father and a mother who coward into a corner while my father beat me. After he cheated on my mother he left her and remarried to a woman who conned him, lied on me and my sister causing my father to lie to the state getting me locked away in assisted living and before that a hospital for anger issues. Ofcourse i had anger issues, my father hit me in the face, back and chest and legs with a belt and my mother was helpless and i couldnt defent myself. and his new wife forced him to kick my sister out at age 16 and he kicked her out and she moved in with her friend. I was both abused and left in an assisted living program that was seriously corrupt, as in staff smoked weed on duty, yea, they actually did that, and i got punched multiple times for trying to escape because i didnt wanna be around drugs, and the assisted living manager was later arested for stealing extra funds out peopl;es checks, the other 3 assisted living programs i was in after that wernt any better. After going through all that i was finally able to sign myself out at age 21 wher i lived in greenwell springs and had everything in 2016 then came louisianas 500 year flood as they call it, and it took everything i had, and after it happened the surounding area price galged the hell out of everything, the price of living went up so high, i was paying $200 in the apts i lived in, the price went up to $750 after the flood i was forced to move out here in the middle of no where because i can no longer afford to live in the city, and still cant unless i wanna move into the hood where ill be shot to death from the gang activity so bad that not even cops go back there. I have no resources out here not even an ambulance, and because its just forest, not even a medical helicopter has a place to land. I have no transportation, cant walk worth a darn because my right knee will give out on me before i make 300 feet. Death seems like the only real way to escape. ANd the suicide hotline? They always try to talk to me and tell me about services that are no where around me, dont proviede transportation and i cant in no way get to.

[1D9G8C6]

i think ive bothered people on here long enough so i think i will just stop bothring people and delete my account, im sorry to anyone i bothered, i truly am, at lease its nice to know there are people who care, it just sucks that most of the pople like this are in areas i can never afford to go

[SumGuy]

No bother,   You can stay.

[SumGuy]

On your financial situation, it sounds like your social security may be enough for where you live, not that you want to remain there   As grim as this sounds does your mom own the house and can you make sure you dad does not get it (especially if they never officially divorced).    There are also survivor and other benefits potentially.   Thing is to make sure no one takes advantage of you, may be on line legal help for free, if nothing else simple questions.  I'd say where I live there are such services from the attorney general's office and various pro bono legal services.  Alas I get that LA may not have many (likely one of the worst states for such things) but at least all this advice can be given and received over the internet.

Have you considered living just to spite all those who abused and tried to crush you?

[glows]

You’re not bothering anyone, OP. Vent if you need to or write. 

[spiderowl]

It is not true that no-one will want you.  It was cruel and pointless of your sibling to say that.  They do not sound very nice.  I am sure that when people have a chance to get to know you, they will appreciate you for who you are.  They just haven't had chance.  Of course, some people are rejecting, but who cares about such people?  They are irrelevant as our friends and family are the ones that matter.  It sounds like you have little opportunity to socialise and for people to get to know you.

It is really difficult being in such a remote area.  I am so sorry that you are stuck somewhere with few resources.  This is not your fault though and you should not blame yourself in any way.

While meeting people online is no substitute for real life, getting to know other people through Asperger's forums might help.  Of course, you do need to be very wary of scammers as they exist on dating sites and forums.

You mentioned that you could not complete your education due to panic.  Is going back into education an option for you if you can somehow learn to reduce the panic?  I realise that transport would still be an issue.

What do you like to do?  What hobbies make you feel happy?  Spending time on those and learning to be an expert in them will at least give you a focus and you could have a real talent.  Are there local groups who share the same hobbies?

I am so sorry to hear about your mum.  It is no wonder you are feeling particularly down at the moment; you are dealing with an awful lot of sadness.  

Are there any local services that might help to rehouse you in some kind of supported housing?  There usually are in the UK but I don't know about remote areas of other countries.

Do you go to church or anything like that?  It is a way of getting to know people and church people should be supportive.  Maybe you could talk to a local minister to see what options there are?  

I wish I could offer more.  I have family with Asperger's and you know, Aspies often have exceptional talents.  Maybe you just haven't found your talent yet.

[CaliforniaGirl]

23 hours ago, 1D9G8C6 said:

i have tried the suicide hotline, and they tell me about a bunch of services that when i call dont provide transportation this far out and have no offices anywhere near nme

They didn't talk to you at all? I called it once and a nice man really talked to me, deeply, for about an hour.

Perhaps a silly question and a shot in the dark. Have you looked on Meetup to see if there's a group near you? Just to talk.

ETA: omg weird misspelling there. Fixed it.

Edited July 25, 2021 by CaliforniaGirl

[CaliforniaGirl]

12 hours ago, Olivia24 said:

I hope you will continue to talk to us. 

I hope so too! 💗

[d0nnivain]

@1D9G8C6

Are there any Churchs in your area that you could ask for help?  A volunteer may be able to help you navigate the system or drive you to the nearest place where you can get in person help.  

I believe the Easter Seals society also provides the type of assistance you may need. 

You are not bothering anybody here but you need more concrete help.  

[1D9G8C6]

No, my mother is getting skinnier day by day, I and my sister believe she won't last the year, which is sad because she's more than my mother, she's my only real friend. After she goes, I will alone for real with zero transportation of any kind to anything of any kind. No taxi, no Uber, no medical transportation, no helpful neighbors, nothing. I think if she does, I would like to go with her as there will be nothing left for me here and dating or having the one thing I want (a girlfriend) will not happen due to the state of society. 

 

It's sad but in my reality

"I am happy only when I am in my dreams, where I have a girlfriend, a daughter, house and a car, when I wake the happiness is gone and I realize my dreams are better than my actual existence.

 

 

[vla1120]

42 minutes ago, 1D9G8C6 said:

No, my mother is getting skinnier day by day, I and my sister believe she won't last the year, which is sad because she's more than my mother, she's my only real friend. After she goes, I will alone for real with zero transportation of any kind to anything of any kind. No taxi, no Uber, no medical transportation, no helpful neighbors, nothing. I think if she does, I would like to go with her as there will be nothing left for me here and dating or having the one thing I want (a girlfriend) will not happen due to the state of society. 

 

It's sad but in my reality

"I am happy only when I am in my dreams, where I have a girlfriend, a daughter, house and a car, when I wake the happiness is gone and I realize my dreams are better than my actual existence.

 

 

I'm glad to see you back! Don't give up on life, yet! I am going to send you a private message (if I can). I have some thoughts.

[vla1120]

5 minutes ago, vla1120 said:

I'm glad to see you back! Don't give up on life, yet! I am going to send you a private message (if I can). I have some thoughts.

Oh bummer. It won't let me message you. I advocate for children in foster care as well as people who need access to resources, but don't know how to access those resources. So, I spend a LOT of time researching different resources and think I could help give you some ideas. Feel free to private message me if you think you want to bounce around some ideas and let me find some resources for you. (I've also been known to call resources and get some straight answers when they won't communicate clearly, or they try to blow off the people I refer to them!)

[d0nnivain]

Glad to see you posting again.  

A lurker who can't post on this board has been PM'ing me about you.  He wants to help.  He has spoken on the phone to a local church in your parish that is willing to help get you connected to the available social services in your area.  They advise that the 1st step is that the local police have to come to your place & do a wellness check.  

Are you interested in reaching out to that church if I get you the contact info so they can get the ball rolling for you?  Would you be OK with having the police come & talk to you about what you need?  

[1D9G8C6]

21 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

Glad to see you posting again.  

A lurker who can't post on this board has been PM'ing me about you.  He wants to help.  He has spoken on the phone to a local church in your parish that is willing to help get you connected to the available social services in your area.  They advise that the 1st step is that the local police have to come to your place & do a wellness check.  

Are you interested in reaching out to that church if I get you the contact info so they can get the ball rolling for you?  Would you be OK with having the police come & talk to you about what you need?  

I don't mind being involved in a church, but I have things here at my house that I keep in my armory that I cannot have police find because they have been made illegal a few years back like military grade body armor, and a small military drone, the little one with night vision, infa-red and stuff that's controlled from a hard pda, (technically seriously broken ftm. and many home made devices I could be in deep trouble for having aka HM flash-bangs. I built up an advanced armory over the years due to the state of things. And plus I have had horrible exp in the past with police in this area, also, the police in this area are very corrupt as well, least it's what I was told. So I am sorry but I can't have police come to my house.  And you said a lurker? What is that even, it sounds shady. 

[1D9G8C6]

21 hours ago, vla1120 said:

Oh bummer. It won't let me message you. I advocate for children in foster care as well as people who need access to resources, but don't know how to access those resources. So, I spend a LOT of time researching different resources and think I could help give you some ideas. Feel free to private message me if you think you want to bounce around some ideas and let me find some resources for you. (I've also been known to call resources and get some straight answers when they won't communicate clearly, or they try to blow off the people I refer to them!)

If I lived in a safe area in a city I could survive fine, my only real issue is the fact I have zero transportation of any kind, and now that my mother who has always been my only friend and transportation is dying, I will be stranded indefenetly. Not even an ambulance comes out this far. No Uber, no taxy, no neighbors, no friends, no helpful family, nothing. I can and will survive, but it will get much more difficult. Living here so far has been like climbing a hard jagged mountain for me, if my mom does, it will be more like climbing that mountain half tired in a hailstorm. I'll make it, I don't know how, but I don't give up no matter how much I want to, my mom wouldn't want me too.

[d0nnivain]

46 minutes ago, 1D9G8C6 said:

So I am sorry but I can't have police come to my house.  And you said a lurker? What is that even, it sounds shady. 

A lurker is somebody who reads a message board but doesn't post.  This person was kicked off this platform after a dispute with the owners of the website.  It doesn't make him a bad or shady guy, just an outspoken one. It is just that this website & him didn't get along.  I'm not taking sides in that.  

Anyway, I can try to get you the contact info for the Church but as I have been advised, the 1st step is a wellness check by the police.  I would think that would be more cursory than a full on search of your home so it the stuff was in a locked box under the bed or in the attic, the cops should never know.  But maybe you could have your family hold your stuff  until the process is finished.  

Anyway,  it's St. Joseph's Church.   

St. Joseph Catholic Church - French Settlement, LA (weconnect.com) 

15710 La Highway 16
French Settlement, LA 70733

Phone: 225-698-3110

I hope they can help you.  

Edited August 19, 2021 by d0nnivain

[vla1120]

1 hour ago, 1D9G8C6 said:

Living here so far has been like climbing a hard jagged mountain for me, if my mom does, it will be more like climbing that mountain half tired in a hailstorm. I'll make it, I don't know how, but I don't give up no matter how much I want to, my mom wouldn't want me too.

I hope you take advantage of the information d0nnivain provided. Call them and talk to them. You've got nothing to lose! 

[1D9G8C6]

53 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

A lurker is somebody who reads a message board but doesn't post.  This person was kicked off this platform after a dispute with the owners of the website.  It doesn't make him a bad or shady guy, just an outspoken one. It is just that this website & him didn't get along.  I'm not taking sides in that.  

Anyway, I can try to get you the contact info for the Church but as I have been advised, the 1st step is a wellness check by the police.  I would think that would be more cursory than a full on search of your home so it the stuff was in a locked box under the bed or in the attic, the cops should never know.  But maybe you could have your family hold your stuff  until the process is finished.  

Anyway,  it's St. Joseph's Church.   

St. Joseph Catholic Church - French Settlement, LA (weconnect.com) 

15710 La Highway 16
French Settlement, LA 70733

Phone: 225-698-3110

I hope they can help you.  

What exactly is a wellness check and why is that needed?  It that like a check to see if I have any terror intent or am hostile? Because if it's a mental thing then why are police in charge of that, especially the very corrupt police of Livingston parish. Anyway, thank you deeply for trying to help, but I don't get along with police at all, nor do I trust them.its because of past experiences with them.i do thank you though. But I am also not religious, and if a church starts quoting the bible or telling me to read this or that or give this or that, then that will make me turn them down. If they can help by helping me get connected to services where I can meet people and socialize then I'm all for it.