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Controlling in laws, DV marriage, should I divorce?


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My SIL is very bossy and aggressive person. She has never been married, doesn't date and has no kids. Yet she likes to judge and tell me what to do with my child. If you get her upset, she goes runny and complaining to her parents. I've now spent about 18 months trying to find a good therapist. I've still haven't found a good one since I left hospital about 6 months ago. I've had extremely bad therapists and sick to death of looking.

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Ignore her.

 

If you can't say something snotty back, like I did my best parenting before I had kids too.

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evanescentworld

"By all means call on God, but at least row AWAY from the rocks".

 

People only have power over you, if you give it to them.

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My SIL is very bossy and aggressive person. She has never been married, doesn't date and has no kids. Yet she likes to judge and tell me what to do with my child. If you get her upset, she goes runny and complaining to her parents. I've now spent about 18 months trying to find a good therapist. I've still haven't found a good one since I left hospital about 6 months ago. I've had extremely bad therapists and sick to death of looking.

 

Is the sister in law your brothers wife or your husbands sister? Either way, I'd ask them to direct this concern to the perpetrator and nip it in the bud.

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DaisyLeigh1967

Why do you need a therapist?

 

Tell the b i t c h to Eff off. Seriously. If the PIL don't like it and DH does not like it, too effing bad.

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I recall you saying that the MIL offered you and your husband to live with her due to your financial difficulties, are you still living under her roof? If you are, it's going to be really difficult to enforce boundaries. Focus on getting your ducks in a row and moving out ASAP if that is the case.

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It's my husbands sister.

Is the sister in law your brothers wife or your husbands sister? Either way, I'd ask them to direct this concern to the perpetrator and nip it in the bud.
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My SIL is very bossy and aggressive person. She has never been married, doesn't date and has no kids. Yet she likes to judge and tell me what to do with my child. If you get her upset, she goes runny and complaining to her parents. I've now spent about 18 months trying to find a good therapist. I've still haven't found a good one since I left hospital about 6 months ago. I've had extremely bad therapists and sick to death of looking.

 

Ignore her. Nothing she says should matter to you. I know easier said than done but it's better to ignore than to aggravate and have her overreact.

 

Don't give up the therapist! You will find the right one.

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Pretty hard too when she's constantly yelling. She also likes to threaten to have my daughter taken away. Despite my daughter not being abused or neglected.

Ignore her. Nothing she says should matter to you. I know easier said than done but it's better to ignore than to aggravate and have her overreact.

 

Don't give up the therapist! You will find the right one.

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She also plays on my MIL fears and mental state.[/b]

Ignore her. Nothing she says should matter to you. I know easier said than done but it's better to ignore than to aggravate and have her overreact.

 

Don't give up the therapist! You will find the right one.

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evanescentworld
Pretty hard too when she's constantly yelling.
What, all the time, incessantly? I don't believe it... And you are always the target and nobody says or does anything? :rolleyes:

 

She also likes to threaten to have my daughter taken away. Despite my daughter not being abused or neglected.
And naturally she will succeed because neither you nor your husband will do anything to contradict her or prove her wrong...

Jeesh, gimme a break....

 

She also plays on my MIL fears and mental state.

Not your problem. Just for once....

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Yes all the time. When SIL complains all the time, my in laws are quick on it. But if we do my FIL only gets angry with my husband. They've always spoilt my SIL rotten and favored her for some reason. I have proved her wrong already because my daughter is never neglected and I would never hurt her.

What, all the time, incessantly? I don't believe it... And you are always the target and nobody says or does anything? :rolleyes:

 

And naturally she will succeed because neither you nor your husband will do anything to contradict her or prove her wrong...

Jeesh, gimme a break....

 

 

Not your problem. Just for once....

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  • 2 weeks later...
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She also insults us in front of friends/ family. My in laws say and do nothing. Yet if it was the other way around, my in laws would be right onto it.

Ignore her.

 

If you can't say something snotty back, like I did my best parenting before I had kids too.

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Bleah .... it's that disgusting golden child/rotten child dynamic.

 

How old is this very 'mature' little woman ?

 

She's almost 30.

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As usual my sister in law had another screaming match last night and as usual my father in law wasn't here. She completely had a go at us for making my in laws stressed. I felt like saying what about us? Having found out I was pregnant with no redundancy and then having my mother in law threaten to kick us out. Not that this spoilt brat would ever get that. Maybe I should've said something.

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It's my husbands sister.

 

I know you're in a difficult position and with a new baby? - and that you need a roof over your heads.

 

If your husband doesn't feel free to take charge over the situation, then these people do have you in oppression.

 

Naturally, it would seem if you could move out - you would.

 

You'll just have to ride it out until your financial situation changes, and your little family can relocate. And with trying to stay to yourself, in the meantime.

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Meanwhile what do I do about my sister in law blaming us, for putting my in laws under stress? Despite the fact that my mother in law, put us under a great deal of stress, when I got no redundancy and lost my job.

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What does your husband say? Does he talk to them (his sister/mother), about the problems in the household between you and them?

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You're a married couple with a baby living in their house.

 

You do nothing about their behaviour except ignore it, and focus on getting your sh*t together and finding your own place.

 

You're not going to change them. Quit worrying about them...you have more than enough to worry about when it comes to your own life.

 

Keep looking for a therapist. You may think they're all bad, but persist. Sometimes what you need to hear isn't necessarily what you'd like to hear. Find one, and stick to it. Treat it like a job...don't quit until you find a new one. Any therapy is better than no therapy at this point. You are lucky enough to be in a city where there is plenty of help available to people in your situation. You need to get yourself together for your child, and you need to start the process now.

Edited by almond
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Rejected Rosebud

Why is it not possible for you and your husband to move out? Do you have any feelings of gratitude that they are providing you with a home?

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