Author Sugarkane Posted April 2, 2015 Author Share Posted April 2, 2015 Because she's a domineering control freak. Why are the family so often threatening to report you to child services? Are they concerned for the child's welfare? For what reasons and in what context are they threatening to call child services on you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 I'm sick and tired of biting my lip, when my sister in law yesterday yelled and screamed to get her own way. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 start recording her and if the cops are called or child services, play the tape for them and show them that she is out to get you. What is your husband doing to protect you in all this?! Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I'm sick and tired of biting my lip, when my sister in law yesterday yelled and screamed to get her own way. If there's room in that place, walk away from her - or at least turn your back on her. It may make her madder, but why get into it with her - and if inlaws have been siding with her. And yes, taping the threats and rants probably would be a good idea, since the situation hasn't changed or may be escalating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 My SIL is very bossy and aggressive person. She has never been married, doesn't date and has no kids. Yet she likes to judge and tell me what to do with my child. If you get her upset, she goes runny and complaining to her parents. I've now spent about 18 months trying to find a good therapist. I've still haven't found a good one since I left hospital about 6 months ago. I've had extremely bad therapists and sick to death of looking. I've read a bit of your thread. I understand that having a baby "earlier than planned" can put a spanner in the works for a little while. BUT blood is thicker than water and it seems EVERY single time in your situation. You will never "win". They will never choose you or your baby DD over this nutjob who they know is a nutjob and can do nothing to stop her being a nutjob. It's YOU and YOUR Hs responsibility to house, feed and clothe this baby. Get on the list for Govt housing if you have to citing constant familial abuse. Just get out! In fact G** forbid I EVER had to live with my present or previous in-laws, I couldn't stand it. My first in laws were beautiful. I'd just give my H my ultimatum. Either he gets you guys out of this abusive and majorly stressful situation or you leave for a women's shelter. I would! Being a first time mum is difficult enough. If no one is supporting you but stressing you out then leave. You will be better off without all this. Poorer maybe but alot happier I promise. Get out of there. Lion Heart. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 I'm tired of my in laws complaining. They didn't care when I had chronic fatigue from an inactive thyroid and expected us to keep the extreme OCD standards of my father in law. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I'm tired of my in laws complaining. They didn't care when I had chronic fatigue from an inactive thyroid and expected us to keep the extreme OCD standards of my father in law. If someone told you they were in jail, and fretting about their captors' thoughts/actions, and favoritism toward others... .. Would you think the prisoner should be wasting their time & thoughts worrying about the unfairness of their captors .. . Or would you tell them to just try to get by, until they can get out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 My mother in law has been taking time off work. So I'm stuck with this bossy biatch. I'm sick and tired of keeping my mouth shut with my mother in law. When she is really horrible. My in laws went to see a therapist. Why? They control everything and don't have to bite their tongue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 (edited) I wish I could tell my MIL what a judgmental ****I think she is. I would love to interfere in her personal matters, like she does. Edited April 24, 2015 by Sugarkane Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 OP, you need to stop worry about your SIL and worry about getting your own life together and stop being a burden on your family and staying there causing tension. You and your husband stop blaming other people and get off your *sses and get jobs and move out like you're supposed to be able to do before you get pregnant and you'll stop having so much time on your hands to blame others for a situation you created for yourself. You owe it to your child to set an example and create a harmonious nest. Who you going to blame for that when your kid doesn't know how to be happy or independent or get along with people when he grows up? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Yes I love my child. But I still have this problem of my sister in law is allowed to yell and insult/ threaten us with DHS. And when I followed the advice on here to tell her to shut up, I get told to apologize! She is a spoilt bitch. SK, you know better. You tell her to stay out of your business. you're then told to apologize, and your next step SHOULD have been to pick up your kids, walk out, and then stay away from them. This is all in your control. You just don't take it. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 SK, you know better. You tell her to stay out of your business. you're then told to apologize, and your next step SHOULD have been to pick up your kids, walk out, and then stay away from them. This is all in your control. You just don't take it. To walk out, isn't that easy when you have a child. It's between the in-laws and a shelter. SK, you could however, refuse to apologize the next time you are put in a position to have to explain yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 To walk out, isn't that easy when you have a child. It's between the in-laws and a shelter. SK, you could however, refuse to apologize the next time you are put in a position to have to explain yourself. I wasn't talking about moving out. I meant to end the situation and go somewhere else and leave them to theirselves. Don't participate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 We moved out into the new place on the weekend. But it still doesn't have electricity etc long story. But my mother in law is playing martyr and is blaming us for needing money. What did she expect when you tell someone with financial hardship, to have a child?! I'm struggling with the workload at school. I have too much resentment for my MIL, who is now blaming us for following her advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 I find it hard to believe that my SIL can't move out. She was earning over $80,000 a year and getting $400 a week from renting out her place. Link to post Share on other sites
Mittens Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 We moved out into the new place on the weekend. But it still doesn't have electricity etc long story. But my mother in law is playing martyr and is blaming us for needing money. What did she expect when you tell someone with financial hardship, to have a child?! I'm struggling with the workload at school. I have too much resentment for my MIL, who is now blaming us for following her advice. No one can 'make' you have a child. You could have ignored what she said. Don't blame her for your child existing, that's down to you and your husband. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 We moved out into the new place on the weekend. But it still doesn't have electricity etc long story. But my mother in law is playing martyr and is blaming us for needing money. What did she expect when you tell someone with financial hardship, to have a child?! I'm struggling with the workload at school. I have too much resentment for my MIL, who is now blaming us for following her advice. I'm so happy for you that you were able to get your own place. You made the decision to have a child when you had intercourse. From the time she was conceived, that made your daughter the priority. It's not her fault you decided to do everything backward. Since you were practically forced to move out of your in-law's home, I wouldn't have anymore communication with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 We moved out into the new place on the weekend. But it still doesn't have electricity etc long story. But my mother in law is playing martyr and is blaming us for needing money. What did she expect when you tell someone with financial hardship, to have a child?! I'm struggling with the workload at school. I have too much resentment for my MIL, who is now blaming us for following her advice. Don't blame your situation on your MIL or on having a child. Several pages back, you said that your MIL 'made' you have your child by threatening to withdraw financial support if you didn't keep the child. That means that you were already financially dependent on her before you even got pregnant (and were still having intercourse even though you knew what the possible outcome might be). So the whole 'blaming us for needing money after she made us have a child' thing is circular logic. Anyway, excellent to hear that you finally have your own place. Maybe now you can finally cut your MIL out of your life like you always wanted to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 What about this? I find it hard to believe that my SIL can't move out. She was earning over $80,000 a year and getting $400 a week from renting out her place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 I was toward not going through with it but, my mother in law interfered and judged us. So much for being Christian. The big problem is that we don't have everything yet for the apartment and I have to rely on them to look aftery daughter occasionally. itI'm so happy for you that you were able to get your own place. You made the decision to have a child when you had intercourse. From the time she was conceived, that made your daughter the priority. It's not her fault you decided to do everything backward. Since you were practically forced to move out of your in-law's home, I wouldn't have anymore communication with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 I do blame her. She rudely backmailed us by threatening to kick us out. And judged us, yet like most baby boomers haven't experincef long term unemployment and casualization. QUOTE=Elswyth;6317992]Don't blame your situation on your MIL or on having a child. Several pages back, you said that your MIL 'made' you have your child by threatening to withdraw financial support if you didn't keep the child. That means that you were already financially dependent on her before you even got pregnant (and were still having intercourse even though you knew what the possible outcome might be). So the whole 'blaming us for needing money after she made us have a child' thing is circular logic. Anyway, excellent to hear that you finally have your own place. Maybe now you can finally cut your MIL out of your life like you always wanted to. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 What about this? SIL obviously goes with the territory. And your inlaws gave their daughter more leverage. Why would you want to re-arrange the household? As a married couple, you did the right thing in moving out when you could. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 I do blame her. She rudely backmailed us by threatening to kick us out. And judged us, yet like most baby boomers haven't experincef long term unemployment and casualization. It's called being an adult. Your inlaws did you a favor by encouraging you to give your baby life, no matter what they said. You will be so much happier when you take responsibility rather than blaming others. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 I was toward not going through with it but, my mother in law interfered and judged us. So much for being Christian. The big problem is that we don't have everything yet for the apartment and I have to rely on them to look aftery daughter occasionally. it You are the pot calling the kettle black. You are every bit as judgemental as your MIL if not more so. Stop trying to blame your in laws for making you have a baby. I don't care what they threatened or what they said, the decision was yours to make and you need to take responsibility for your own decisions. To say that your MIL was threatening to withdraw financial support or kick you out is a moot point because guess what? She never had to support you or give you shelter no matter what you chose. It was never her obligation or responsibility to take care of you in the first place. There are lots of poor single moms and families in the world who have no family help or support whatsoever. They struggle to even be able to feed their children and they don't have any mother in laws giving them a free place to live. So try to be a little grateful for the help you have received and that you are still happily taking from your MIL (free childcare). Just grow the hell up. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 What about this? Who the hell cares? Your SIL is not your problem, your MIL is not your problem, your H and your child are your only problem. Stop making this more than it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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