turnera Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 I do blame her. She rudely backmailed us by threatening to kick us out. And judged us, yet like most baby boomers haven't experienced long term unemployment and casualization. Good grief. Well, most baby boomers grew up being ok with one or two pairs of shoes, one pair of jeans, and one set of sheets. We were just fine without a cell phone, cable, or internet. We used layaway instead of credit cards, paying for something before we took possession of it. We worked side jobs, worked at McDonalds, mowed lawns, cleaned houses, did whatever it took to pay our bills. We weren't too proud to go down the street asking if anyone needed some work done, if we were short on money. We shopped at resale shops and garage sales instead of department stores. In today's environment, this generation has more opportunities in one year for earning money than I ever saw the whole first 50 years of my life combined. I have a friend who earns her whole living just buying stuff at garage sales and selling it on eBay. I have access to thousands of side jobs online that I can bid on just by looking. I can go to college AT HOME ON MY COUCH to improve my earning capacity. So maybe it's time you stopped using OTHER PEOPLE as your reason for being unhappy; started fixing your own problems and ignoring theirs; and started looking forward to the great new life you and your little family have ahead of you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Because she attacks and verbally abuses us, yet wants the lifestyle so she can save money. Woman is a hypocrite. It was so much better before this over grown child moved back. {QUOTE=turnera;6324802]Who the hell cares? Your SIL is not your problem, your MIL is not your problem, your H and your child are your only problem. Stop making this more than it is. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 She's only in your life because you ALLOW it. Disown her. I disowned my own dad, and it's the best thing I ever did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 It was a bit different then. Jobs were more plentiful and you didn't have this amount of casualization. Everyone tells you to "apply online these days". Because it is easier to reject people and never give them any feedback. And I'm a full time student, I'm not spending money on designer shoes and clothes. Far, far from it. Good grief. Well, most baby boomers grew up being ok with one or two pairs of shoes, one pair of jeans, and one set of sheets. We were just fine without a cell phone, cable, or internet. We used layaway instead of credit cards, paying for something before we took possession of it. We worked side jobs, worked at McDonalds, mowed lawns, cleaned houses, did whatever it took to pay our bills. We weren't too proud to go down the street asking if anyone needed some work done, if we were short on money. We shopped at resale shops and garage sales instead of department stores. In today's environment, this generation has more opportunities in one year for earning money than I ever saw the whole first 50 years of my life combined. I have a friend who earns her whole living just buying stuff at garage sales and selling it on eBay. I have access to thousands of side jobs online that I can bid on just by looking. I can go to college AT HOME ON MY COUCH to improve my earning capacity. So maybe it's time you stopped using OTHER PEOPLE as your reason for being unhappy; started fixing your own problems and ignoring theirs; and started looking forward to the great new life you and your little family have ahead of you. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 It was a bit different then. Jobs were more plentiful and you didn't have this amount of casualization. Everyone tells you to "apply online these days". Because it is easier to reject people and never give them any feedback. And I'm a full time student, I'm not spending money on designer shoes and clothes. Far, far from it. I didn't say you were. But you were taking a dig at us 'old people,' so I just thought I'd clarify for the readers the distinction. You make it sound like because there were 'so many jobs,' that we had it easier than you. We also hadn't had computers invented yet, so we filled out every single application by hand and had to hand deliver it. And it still took me months to find a job, each time I went looking, so I don't know where you got this impression that jobs were just there for the grabbing. That chip must be getting heavy. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) It was a bit different then. Jobs were more plentiful and you didn't have this amount of casualization. Everyone tells you to "apply online these days". Because it is easier to reject people and never give them any feedback. And I'm a full time student, I'm not spending money on designer shoes and clothes. Far, far from it. You realize that the unemployment rate in Australia is 6.1%, right? 93.9% of Australians have jobs. (Edit: homemaker and self-employed probably count as jobs, but this still means that 93.9% of the people who WANT to work for other people have jobs). What effort have you put in to actually seek jobs and make yourself more marketable? Edited May 20, 2015 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 But how many of these jobs are casual jobs? These days no one wants to pay people full time, with sick pay. You make me sound very horrible. I only shop sometimes at Target. I'm not crying poor, but constantly buying high end clothes, like my sister in law. Anyway they made us leave during my end of semester- when Everett ing is due and I'm under a lot of pressure. You realize that the unemployment rate in Australia is 6.1%, right? 93.9% of Australians have jobs. (Edit: homemaker and self-employed probably count as jobs, but this still means that 93.9% of the people who WANT to work for other people have jobs). What effort have you put in to actually seek jobs and make yourself more marketable? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 I'm sick of having too hold my tongue all the time, while my in laws are allowed to say anything they like. I was never allowed to get away with not lifting a finger/ not cleaning like my sister in law. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 But how many of these jobs are casual jobs? These days no one wants to pay people full time, with sick pay. You make me sound very horrible. I only shop sometimes at Target. I'm not crying poor, but constantly buying high end clothes, like my sister in law. Anyway they made us leave during my end of semester- when Everett ing is due and I'm under a lot of pressure. There's nothing wrong with casual jobs at your age. I would think with both you and your husband working some job or another, you should be able to make it, and while - most importantly, living on your own and not having to answer to in-laws at this time. Isn't this the priority? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I'm sick of having too hold my tongue all the time, while my in laws are allowed to say anything they like. I was never allowed to get away with not lifting a finger/ not cleaning like my sister in law. You shouldn't have to hold your tongue, where the care of your daughter is concerned. But concerning yourself with the 'sister-in-law', and what you think she is getting away with.... Well that's something that children within a family do. It's Their household. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mittens Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I'm sick of having too hold my tongue all the time, while my in laws are allowed to say anything they like. I was never allowed to get away with not lifting a finger/ not cleaning like my sister in law. You really need professional help to learn to stop focusing on things that you can't control. You can't control your sister in law, or how her parents treat her. None of that is any of your business. It wasn't when you were living in their household, it's not now that you've moved out. Do you honestly think that no one ever has to control what they say in front of family - whether it is their own family or family by law? Of course they do. The murder rate at Christmas would be sky high otherwise... You can only control yourself. If you don't like what your inlaws are saying, end the conversation and walk away, or ignore them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 She's only in your life because you ALLOW it. Disown her. I disowned my own dad, and it's the best thing I ever did. I don't have much of a choice. She lives with them and is crying poor, while earning more than us and saving for a holiday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 I don't want to hold my tongue anymore. We had to move at the busiest time of the semester- end of semester. My father in law is OCD and our apartment will never be clean enough for him- nothing ever is. My daughter's been staying with them and I just want her back. I'm sick and tired of this ****. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Meanwhile my sister in law is playing victim because her mentor wants her expelled from her paid for internship type thing (teaching). She is such an aggressive person I think it was more likely she bullied the mentor! Now she is playing victim and her parents are even more soft on the cow.Yet when I was upset about being made to see yet another Quack, she told me to stuck it up, cornered me and verbally abused me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 You shouldn't have to hold your tongue, where the care of your daughter is concerned. But concerning yourself with the 'sister-in-law', and what you think she is getting away with.... Well that's something that children within a family do. It's Their household. They don't hold their tongue, that's the point. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I don't want to hold my tongue anymore. We had to move at the busiest time of the semester- end of semester. My father in law is OCD and our apartment will never be clean enough for him- nothing ever is. My daughter's been staying with them and I just want her back. I'm sick and tired of this ****. Then arrange it so your father in law doesn't have to come to your apartment. Is there a reason why you and your husband cannot arrange your schedules so that you can take care of your daughter between the two of you?? Imo, You Must stop worrying about what the sister in law is getting away with, in her life. It looks as if can barely handle taking care of your daughter. Imo, you should reel in your priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Let's keep the posts on topic please, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 I am more than capable of taking care of her, but they've made it as difficult as possible. It's hard not too when my sister in law is allowed to ceistize and mouth off thpugh. As always. Then arrange it so your father in law doesn't have to come to your apartment. Is there a reason why you and your husband cannot arrange your schedules so that you can take care of your daughter between the two of you?? Imo, You Must stop worrying about what the sister in law is getting away with, in her life. It looks as if can barely handle taking care of your daughter. Imo, you should reel in your priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 If you're capable of taking care of your daughter, why are your in laws doing it for you? It seems a lot of your problems would be solved if you stopped depending on them to take care of you and your daughter. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 11, 2015 Author Share Posted June 11, 2015 Already explained that- Because they made us move out at the busiest time for me. If you're capable of taking care of your daughter, why are your in laws doing it for you? It seems a lot of your problems would be solved if you stopped depending on them to take care of you and your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Already explained that- Because they made us move out at the busiest time for me. You and your husband are both so busy that your daughter cannot even live with you? I'm sorry but as a single mother of three who worked full time while finishing college, I have trouble understanding just how busy a couple has to be that your kid has to live with in laws you don't even like. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Already explained that- Because they made us move out at the busiest time for me. Um...you're an adult with a spouse and a child. Do what 90% of the OTHER married couples with children do - FIND A BABYSITTER. Day care center. Some OTHER woman besides your in-laws. How hard can this be? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 12, 2015 Author Share Posted June 12, 2015 I can't afford to pay more childcare days, even if they were available. Don't know who else to go too. There's no mums at school and the baby groups I went too, I was the only one that bothered going. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 12, 2015 Author Share Posted June 12, 2015 My sister in law lied to my in laws, that I yelled at her. And now they've cracked it at me. What a *****. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 I can't afford to pay more childcare days, even if they were available. Don't know who else to go too. There's no mums at school and the baby groups I went too, I was the only one that bothered going.No offense, but I don't believe you. I don't believe that you have gone online to find groups that will help you with childcare, that you have gone to your city's agencies for help, that you have found other ways to make money like selling things on eBay, that you have brought in roommates which would give you money for daycare, that you have taken on other jobs, that you have looked for baby co-ops, that you have really LOOKED for a way out of being tied to them. If you are that miserable...FIND A WAY OUT of it. That's what adults do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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