UpwardForward Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 (edited) No offense, but I don't believe you. I don't believe that you have gone online to find groups that will help you with childcare, that you have gone to your city's agencies for help, that you have found other ways to make money like selling things on eBay, that you have brought in roommates which would give you money for daycare, that you have taken on other jobs, that you have looked for baby co-ops, that you have really LOOKED for a way out of being tied to them. If you are that miserable...FIND A WAY OUT of it. That's what adults do. Obviously the grandparents have SK hooked because of giving free childcare. In the baby's favor, she is familiar with her grandparents - rather than a stranger. SK, You have mentioned that you want your daughter back. Hopefully you and your husband will find a way of doing so - and in short order. Edited June 12, 2015 by UpwardForward 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 How do you know? I've been trying to get a good counsellor for the past two years and have been ripped off and sent around and around in circles. No offense, but I don't believe you. I don't believe that you have gone online to find groups that will help you with childcare, that you have gone to your city's agencies for help, that you have found other ways to make money like selling things on eBay, that you have brought in roommates which would give you money for daycare, that you have taken on other jobs, that you have looked for baby co-ops, that you have really LOOKED for a way out of being tied to them. If you are that miserable...FIND A WAY OUT of it. That's what adults do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 We have moved out, but are really struggling. I've been applying for hundreds and hundreds of jobs and still nothing. Meanwhile Moneybags (my sister in law) cried poor, but is overseas on holiday. Yet ridiciously claimed we were hoarding money. We haven't been able to save, let alone go on a overseas holiday. Why do they enable this shyte? I've HAD ENOUGH of biting my tongue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 No. They just want to control everything as always. Then arrange it so your father in law doesn't have to come to your apartment. Is there a reason why you and your husband cannot arrange your schedules so that you can take care of your daughter between the two of you?? Imo, You Must stop worrying about what the sister in law is getting away with, in her life. It looks as if can barely handle taking care of your daughter. Imo, you should reel in your priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 I'm sick and tired of the insults from them- unlike my sister in law, I don't own a flat, cry poor at my parents while going overseas several times a year. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 I'm sure you have probably spoken of this before but why are you not getting any help from your parents. You wail and complain about everything regarding your in-laws but so far it seems that they are the only ones who have even attempted to help you and your husband. Where is your family in all this? Why are so focused on the in-laws and how they can never do anything right to help or never do enough, meanwhile you seem to let your own family completely off the hook. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 (edited) We have moved out, but are really struggling. I've been applying for hundreds and hundreds of jobs and still nothing. Meanwhile Moneybags (my sister in law) cried poor, but is overseas on holiday. Yet ridiciously claimed we were hoarding money. We haven't been able to save, let alone go on a overseas holiday. Why do they enable this shyte? I've HAD ENOUGH of biting my tongue. If you have moved out then just stop visiting her if you can't stand her. Although I'd say that you're still being a little ungrateful, considering the fact that they're the reason you and your H and child were able to live comfortably for the entirety of the past year instead of being homeless... or living in a garage or stairwell as many truly poor people do. Edited August 15, 2015 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 I'm sick and tired of rudely being told how "easy" it is to be unemployed and struggling/ studying with a toddler- by someone who sent their kids to private school and husband earns a 6 figure salary. Unlike mine. Maybe i should start saying how "easy" it is to live with chronic fatigue, that my MIL has? Also being judged and cricktiqued on how clean my apartment is. If you have moved out then just stop visiting her if you can't stand her. Although I'd say that you're still being a little ungrateful, considering the fact that they're the reason you and your H and child were able to live comfortably for the entirety of the past year instead of being homeless... or living in a garage or stairwell as many truly poor people do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 Long story short, my parents have been overseas for months and the email they left doesnt work. QUOTE=anika99;6494149]I'm sure you have probably spoken of this before but why are you not getting any help from your parents. You wail and complain about everything regarding your in-laws but so far it seems that they are the only ones who have even attempted to help you and your husband. Where is your family in all this? Why are so focused on the in-laws and how they can never do anything right to help or never do enough, meanwhile you seem to let your own family completely off the hook. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 So you spend all this time complaining about your husbands family who are the only people who have done anything to help you, while your own family is off enjoying life with nary a concern for you or their grandchild. They didn't even leave you a working email yet you judge and criticize your in-laws who have gone above and beyond in trying to help you and your husband. I think you direct your anger and resentment at these people because you don't want to face that it's actually your own parents who have let you down. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Because my in laws are always interfering. Then my SIL lies about me verbally abusing her and we get kicked out. And yet this SOB cries poor but always goes overseas. As always mummy and daddy enable her. So you spend all this time complaining about your husbands family who are the only people who have done anything to help you, while your own family is off enjoying life with nary a concern for you or their grandchild. They didn't even leave you a working email yet you judge and criticize your in-laws who have gone above and beyond in trying to help you and your husband. I think you direct your anger and resentment at these people because you don't want to face that it's actually your own parents who have let you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 And yet this SOB SIL makes threats to take my kid off me. Link to post Share on other sites
ufo8mycat Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 And yet this SOB SIL makes threats to take my kid off me. So let them. The process to taking kids into out of home care in Australia is complicated. Let them make threats. If you are good parents then there are no issues. A threat doesn't mean action, Let it go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 And yet this SOB SIL makes threats to take my kid off me. The above appears to me to be the most pressing problem. You are dependent on the family for free childcare and perhaps other things. It's not unusual for some grandparents to try to take over the child, even if they have to lie or manufacture things. Though you seem to want to concentrate only on their deviousness, it would seem your only solution would be for you and your husband to eventually gain financial independence. Be careful of them in the meantime. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 If you're unemployed, why do you need child care? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 I'm studying. If you're unemployed, why do you need child care? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I'm studying. That's great that you're doing something to improve yourself! That's very exciting and you should feel proud of yourself. What are you studying? When will you graduate? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Wow really? a)My MIL pushed us into keeping my child- I had been made unemployed about 6 months earlier. b) Constantly told how "easy" it is to be studying and struggling with a child. My MIL and SIL have NEVER struggled financially. c) Completely ignored what I wanted for my wedding and took over. d) My SIL lies and gets us kicked out. She CONSTANTLY takes the piss because she can't move out- but can ALWAYS afford to go overseas ATLEAST once a year. So you spend all this time complaining about your husbands family who are the only people who have done anything to help you, while your own family is off enjoying life with nary a concern for you or their grandchild. They didn't even leave you a working email yet you judge and criticize your in-laws who have gone above and beyond in trying to help you and your husband. I think you direct your anger and resentment at these people because you don't want to face that it's actually your own parents who have let you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Because of their interfering! a) Pushing us into this mess. b) Completely took over my wedding. Ignored EVERYTHING I wanted. c) MIL constantly taking the piss about how "easy" it is to be struggling, NOT that she ever has! d) My SIL lied about me verbally abusing her. We get kicked out. She ALWAYS cries POOR. Yet can afford to go OVERSEAS at least ONCE A YEAR. As usual why doesn't she get kicked out?! I'm sure you have probably spoken of this before but why are you not getting any help from your parents. You wail and complain about everything regarding your in-laws but so far it seems that they are the only ones who have even attempted to help you and your husband. Where is your family in all this? Why are so focused on the in-laws and how they can never do anything right to help or never do enough, meanwhile you seem to let your own family completely off the hook. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 I am SICK TO DEATH with having to shut my mouth about this lying, mooching SIL, who cries poor- what a complete JOKE. Just to go overseas REPEATEDLY. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Would really like the money I spent on therapists the past two years, back. It has been useless and got no where but sent around in circles. I might as well end it all now. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Because of their interfering! a) Pushing us into this mess. b) Completely took over my wedding. Ignored EVERYTHING I wanted. c) MIL constantly taking the piss about how "easy" it is to be struggling, NOT that she ever has! d) My SIL lied about me verbally abusing her. We get kicked out. She ALWAYS cries POOR. Yet can afford to go OVERSEAS at least ONCE A YEAR. As usual why doesn't she get kicked out?! They haven't pushed you into anything. You are where you are because that is how it is many times - with newly married people who have young ones. If your husband isn't able to make enough of a living wage to keep you housed and fed, perhaps you could investigate available govt benefits. Or look into home businesses, etc. Then advertise services on-line or with distribution of flyers/cards. This could be done while walking with your toddler in her stroller. Some mothers take in other children to care for, to bring in extra money. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Would really like the money I spent on therapists the past two years, back. It has been useless and got no where but sent around in circles. I might as well end it all now. I can't see that going to therapists could help you out of financial difficulties, especially if they cost money that you do not have. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 All the problems you describe are problems you two could solve by just saying no. Or walking away. Or not getting involved. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I am SICK TO DEATH with having to shut my mouth about this lying, mooching SIL, who cries poor- what a complete JOKE. Just to go overseas REPEATEDLY. You have your own family now. You, your husband and child. There is no need to blame them, or want so badly to be apart of their family. From what you have posted, they seem dysfunctional, anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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