Author Sugarkane Posted August 23, 2015 Author Share Posted August 23, 2015 I have REALLY been trying. Ive been applying for HUNDREDS of CRAPPY part time jobs in 2 YEARS. As always everything is APPY ONLINE . And they get HUNDREDS of peopke apply. Bullshyte. You CHOOSE to argue over money; you could instead silently go about taking on extra work while you study - walking dogs, watering plants, editing others' papers, tutoring, babysitting; you could also simply CHOOSE NOT TO ARGUE, like a GROWNUP would do. Your in-laws wouldn't be breaking boundaries IF YOU KEPT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE. Your bully of a SIL can't bully you and you wouldn't know WHAT your in-laws thought of her IF YOU STAYED AWAY FROM THEM. As I've pointed out, MANY PEOPLE got no help from their own parents, including me. I once asked my dad for help when I was down to my last $5 and couldn't pay my bills. My dad, who had HUNDREDS of thousands of dollars in savings, was not willing to loan me $200. I asked him to help pay for my wedding and he refused. His wife started a rumor about my husband that resulted in us getting run out of town and me having to leave my dream job and my dream house and run up $100,000 in debt over it. My mom moved away and left me here. So I KNOW about lousy parents. But I REFUSED TO WASTE MY TIME sitting around moaning about the sh*tty hand I got dealt. Why would I want to wake up angry, go all day angry, and go to sleep angry? What a waste of a life. What a waste of YOUR life. You didn't choose your parents, but you DO choose your ATTITUDE. And yours sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 I've been unemployed and looking for 6 months. Yet I've gone out and found different ways to earn money. There are dozens of websites where you can bid on jobs. There is networking. There are churches and other organizations. Unless you're a paraplegic, all you have is excuses. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Really pissed off tonight. Now my in laws are saying my daughter is "acting up" and this isnt normal for a toddler. And now want to cut it back to her staying with us 2 nights a week. I'm sick of this BS and i'm livid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 As well as we were supposed to have her over and i had to wait for my husband to come over after work. My daughter has a annoying cold that wont go away and our building has no car. park. Then i had to listen to my sister in law bragging about everything she bought. Of coarse she hammed it up. As she has a joint credit card with her mum. So much for being "very poor". W Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 She thinks everything of our business, is her business just because she lives with my in laws. Sister in law doesn't have to move out. And why do you want to live there? All that should matter to you is your husband and child. Your own family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 I am tired of being constantly criticized by my in laws. And my FIL isnt just clean, hes OCD. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 SugarKane, forgive me for not having read this entire thread... but I read far enough to see that you're working on these issues in therapy? You're still in therapy, right? If so, I think your posting here might actually be hindering your progress in therapy. Too many opinions, many from internet strangers, and lots of them are hostile. This post and your other threads make me think you badly need a change in perspective, and I hear a lot of pain, a lot of anger, and a lot of fear. You simply cannot work out these issues on an online advice forum. In fact, getting advice from here might actually make your professional therapy less effective. Have you told your therapist about the time you spend on this forum? It might be worth discussing. Because if it's not healthy for you... they would be able to tell you so. Very best wishes as you confront these issues. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Really pissed off tonight. Now my in laws are saying my daughter is "acting up" and this isnt normal for a toddler. And now want to cut it back to her staying with us 2 nights a week. I'm sick of this BS and i'm livid. Are you saying your daughter stays with your in laws at night, and in laws want your daughter to stay with them more often or less often? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 It mattets because she turns my in laws against me. Then got us kucked out. Then accuses my husband of hoarding money- wggen shes the only one that is. QUOTE=Rejected Rosebud;6502102]Wellllllll. Sorry to say this but how is that any concern of yours at ALL?? How she acts is not anything to do with you!! You just keep repeating your complaints about your inlaws everytime somebody asks you aquestion. Srsly - please think about this. Do you think you have played any part whatsoever in creating the life you are now living? Or is everybody else responsible?? Look! You can complain about your SIL and your in-laws sticking up for her all you want but it isn't going to change no matter what. Why? Because she is the one who is their DAUGHTER and always has a home with them pretty much as your husband does because he's their SON. You may as well stop complaining and do everything you can to kiss their butts and get along with all of them while under their roof. You should be grateful that they let you stay there and tell them so. I agree with others that your main focus for you and your husband is getting jobs (any job) and get the heck out of those peoples house. They are tired of you now. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 stillafool; Quote = Look! You can complain about your SIL and your in-laws sticking up for her all you want but it isn't going to change no matter what. Why? Because she is the one who is their DAUGHTER and always has a home with them pretty much as your husband does because he's their SON. You may as well stop complaining and do everything you can to kiss their butts and get along with all of them while under their roof. You should be grateful that they let you stay there and tell them so. I agree with others that your main focus for you and your husband is getting jobs (any job) and get the heck out of those peoples house. They are tired of you now. I'm answering for Sugarkane, because she isn't on here often. It's my understanding Sugarkane and husband had moved out of in law's house. It appears to me, the only real hold in laws have on SK is they are caring for her daughter because of SK's studies, finances, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Yes thats what i mean. Are you saying your daughter stays with your in laws at night, and in laws want your daughter to stay with them more often or less often? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 We've been out Iif their house for a few months now. Look! You can complain about your SIL and your in-laws sticking up for her all you want but it isn't going to change no matter what. Why? Because she is the one who is their DAUGHTER and always has a home with them pretty much as your husband does because he's their SON. You may as well stop complaining and do everything you can to kiss their butts and get along with all of them while under their roof. You should be grateful that they let you stay there and tell them so. I agree with others that your main focus for you and your husband is getting jobs (any job) and get the heck out of those peoples house. They are tired of you now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 The only problem is I have to wait weeks to see the school cpunsellor. SugarKane, forgive me for not having read this entire thread... but I read far enough to see that you're working on these issues in therapy? You're still in therapy, right? If so, I think your posting here might actually be hindering your progress in therapy. Too many opinions, many from internet strangers, and lots of them are hostile. This post and your other threads make me think you badly need a change in perspective, and I hear a lot of pain, a lot of anger, and a lot of fear. You simply cannot work out these issues on an online advice forum. In fact, getting advice from here might actually make your professional therapy less effective. Have you told your therapist about the time you spend on this forum? It might be worth discussing. Because if it's not healthy for you... they would be able to tell you so. Very best wishes as you confront these issues. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Yes thats what i mean. SK, Why aren't you able to have your daughter be with you each night? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 As far as only applying for jobs online, I've never gotten a job that way. I find out who the boss is and call or email them if I can get their email. I know HR won't pick me because I have no degree, but lots of experience. You can walk in places and fill out an application and at least show your face before filling out an online app. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 Too much resentment when my MIL doesnt push my SIL to have a kid with no job and no credit card. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 (edited) Too much resentment when my MIL doesnt push my SIL to have a kid with no job and no credit card. You became pregnant. I would have advised you to allow your baby life, as well. Imo, you would not want your SIL's life, as much as you think you do. Is there any govt assistance for low income families? This could free you up so you wouldn't be having to worry about studying and job hunting, and while being dependent on the in laws for childcare. Edited September 13, 2015 by UpwardForward Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Too much resentment when my MIL doesnt push my SIL to have a kid with no job and no credit card. Wait are you saying your daughter does not stay with you at night? How much do you have her. I am a little confused. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 Now my SIL is lying saying i hit my own child. Complete BS. I havent seen my FIL yet and my MIL is in hospital ( she had surgery). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 Because they try to find any excuse. Eg our one bedroom apartment is too small. I didnt even want to move there. Wait are you saying your daughter does not stay with you at night? How much do you have her. I am a little confused. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 A one bedroom apartment is not too small to raise or take care of a child. As for the accusation of child abuse from SIL .. May I ask: How is your husband approaching their accusations and their excuses for keeping your daughter? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) "I didn't want to move there" I didn't want to have a child"... You do an awful lot of things that are life changing that you don't want to do. Is anything in your life under your control or do you just instinctively blame anyone close for whatever happens? Unless you have lost custody of your child, they cannot keep her away from you. Unless you are under house arrest, you can move anytime you want. Unless you are tied to a bed and forcibly impregnated they cannot force you to have a child you do not want and cannot force you to keep one you were unable to terminate. You made all these choices and blame them for each and every one. Edited November 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 So my FIL was away on business the other week and my MIL was in hospital. And I found out that my SIL had my daughter alone. Yet my FIL makes excuses that I can't have my daughter alone?! WTF? Despite my SIL who has made threats to take away my daughter for no reason. I wish I could move. I am sick of this shyte. To make it worse my husband is currently working afternoons and nights. Now my MIL and FIL is using this an excuse that I can't have my daughter stay over. I AM SO ANGRY. And making an appointment with a counsellor at uni means waiting for an appointment WEEKS away. My dad is autocratic and is verbally abusive and my mother is very passive. So I didn't get taught how to be assertive. My upbringing involved trying to stay away from my ragaholic father. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 To add my SIL also likes to threaten suicide whenever she doesn't get her way. She also takes my child to daycare without asking me. After I said I'd do it. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Why are they so involved in watching your child? Why are you giving them power? Do you live with them? Do they have custody or your child? Does your child live with you or them? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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