Els Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 If the verbal abuse is still ongoing, you could get a recording of it. It's extremely unusual that an Australian court would deny the mother custody of a child in favour of the IN-LAWS (not even the father). That is why you don't have a precedent to follow or any support groups. I have a feeling there's something you aren't telling us. Were you convicted of any crimes, or is there otherwise proof that you are unable to be a fit parent to this child? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Social Services have the power to take a child away and into foster-care, or onto Granny, watch out Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. From your posts I am getting the impression that you have some issues that might be helped by therapy. As long as you persist in seeing yourself as powerless and a victim in all areas of your life - your life is going to look like this. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Social Services have the power to take a child away and into foster-care, or onto Granny, watch out Her child is already taken away by Granny. By the sounds of it unlawfully, so I don't think getting social services involved can make it worse. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Her child is already taken away by Granny. By the sounds of it unlawfully, so I don't think getting social services involved can make it worse. In a previous post, she said that the police said they can't do anything. If granny has her unlawfully, they would have power to act. Makes me think this is a legal custody issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 27, 2017 Author Share Posted June 27, 2017 No, I've never committed any crimes and never done any drugs. My in laws knew how to play the system and have completely lied. In their psych assessments. While I didn't know how to play the game. Th court blames me for being depressed and I mean who wouldn't be? If the verbal abuse is still ongoing, you could get a recording of it. It's extremely unusual that an Australian court would deny the mother custody of a child in favour of the IN-LAWS (not even the father). That is why you don't have a precedent to follow or any support groups. I have a feeling there's something you aren't telling us. Were you convicted of any crimes, or is there otherwise proof that you are unable to be a fit parent to this child? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 27, 2017 Author Share Posted June 27, 2017 I didn't know what to do. My husband was no help and is easily Manipulated by my in laws. And I wanted to take legal action streaight away, but my parents didn't want too.( I'm a broke graduate.) The problem in your last thread that people rightfully picked up on is that you were doing very little about the situation besides complaining here. You kept saying your in-laws were keeping your daughter but then you just kept handing her over to them. Time after time, when she was at your house, you could have just kept her and refused to let them take her but you would let her go with them all the while knowing that they were not going to bring her back for days. It really seemed like you didn't like them having her as much as they did but you also didn't like being saddled with a child full time so you decided better to let them take her rather than take 100% responsibility for her yourself. As previous poster stated, it's ridiculous to keep calling the police. They don't decide these kinds of matters. Custody disputes get worked out in court, a judge has to make a decision. Looks like that's going to happen now. Hopefully you have kept records and documents so you can prove your side. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 What country do you live in? Are there any women shelters that you can go live in since you're being abused? You're going to need to find your footing so that you are able to provide for your child on your own. No judge is going to give her back to you to take care of if you aren't even able to take care of yourself. So go scrub floors, wait tables or flip burgers....anything that you can for money really if your daughter means that much. Then once you can prove you're able to provide for her while her daddy still lives with his mommy and daddy you'll look like the better role model in the eyes of the court. Stop thinking about what you can't do and start doing whatever it takes to win this very important fight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 (edited) the child's best interests are supposed to come first what do you see the best interests being? day by day lifestyle stuff, quality of life... Edited June 27, 2017 by darkmoon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chardonnay Renée Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 If the verbal abuse is still ongoing, you could get a recording of it. It's extremely unusual that an Australian court would deny the mother custody of a child in favour of the IN-LAWS (not even the father). That is why you don't have a precedent to follow or any support groups. I have a feeling there's something you aren't telling us. Were you convicted of any crimes, or is there otherwise proof that you are unable to be a fit parent to this child? Completely agreed. I worked as an Occupational Therapist for years, mainly with ASD children. Especially for a child with an ASD, it's critical that they get the right support and the earliest intervention. I feel that something isn't adding up here. Hopefully I'm wrong, but there definitely seems to be more to this scenario which doesn't look good for the OP, rather than one huge misunderstanding. If the OP was a fit Mother, even if she was under extreme financial constraints, under almost any circumstances the Mother would be given full custody. I hate casting aspersions, but devoid of any more info, there's only one logical deduction at this point. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Chardonnay Renée Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 No, I've never committed any crimes and never done any drugs. My in laws knew how to play the system and have completely lied. In their psych assessments. While I didn't know how to play the game. Th court blames me for being depressed and I mean who wouldn't be? The in-laws can't "lie" about your mental state and that statement have any bearing on the result. First of all, their views are subjective and therefore inadmissible in the eyes of the law. There's no doubt that they could have embellished many aspects of your mental state, but unless you've been independently diagnosed by a qualified person, then what they've said is irrelevant to the final outcome. You seem to be putting the cart before the horse. You say that you're depressed and question who wouldn't be given your situation. But the situation only got out of hand because you were undoubtedly too depressed in the first place and therefore too dysfunctional to deal with the issues effectively. Having situational depression is certainly understandable given these circumstances. Having untreated clinical depression is something which should have been dealt with previously. It's hard, but first you have to help yourself before you're in a state to be a dependent for others. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 Well my in laws knew how to completely play the system and the psych report dioesjt even acknowledge my FIL's OCD! I unfortunately naively admitted how depressed I was, not knowing what to do. I feel like my lawyer has been a waste of $30,000 and more. The lawyers this is a good outcome! It makes me livid. Yet you hear stories in the media about children dying because the authorities won't/ can't take the kids away from their drug addict/ abusive parents. The in-laws can't "lie" about your mental state and that statement have any bearing on the result. First of all, their views are subjective and therefore inadmissible in the eyes of the law. There's no doubt that they could have embellished many aspects of your mental state, but unless you've been independently diagnosed by a qualified person, then what they've said is irrelevant to the final outcome. You seem to be putting the cart before the horse. You say that you're depressed and question who wouldn't be given your situation. But the situation only got out of hand because you were undoubtedly too depressed in the first place and therefore too dysfunctional to deal with the issues effectively. Having situational depression is certainly understandable given these circumstances. Having untreated clinical depression is something which should have been dealt with previously. It's hard, but first you have to help yourself before you're in a state to be a dependent for others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 As it says I'm in Melbourne, Australia. I've been trying everything the last year to get experience in my field. And I haven't been able because I don't have any contacts and I "don't have the experience ", despite getting my qualifications at a good uni. Well how are you supposed to get experience , if no one will give me a chance?! That's why my husband has helped me get a business. What country do you live in? Are there any women shelters that you can go live in since you're being abused? You're going to need to find your footing so that you are able to provide for your child on your own. No judge is going to give her back to you to take care of if you aren't even able to take care of yourself. So go scrub floors, wait tables or flip burgers....anything that you can for money really if your daughter means that much. Then once you can prove you're able to provide for her while her daddy still lives with his mommy and daddy you'll look like the better role model in the eyes of the court. Stop thinking about what you can't do and start doing whatever it takes to win this very important fight. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 If you had $30000 to spend on a lawyer why are you living with his parents? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 I'm not. I haven't lived with them for just over a year. If you had $30000 to spend on a lawyer why are you living with his parents? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I'm not. I haven't lived with them for just over a year. Even still, if you are willing to spend $30,000 on a lawyer why didn't you have a more suitable place for your daughter that includes a safe structure without faulty windows that need to be taped up and why didn't you purchase a bed for her? I guess I really just don't understand your priorities. Had you used your money more wisely in the beginning you wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place. I'm not sure why you need to be told that your daughter should have her own bed or that she should be living in a structurally sound home but the fact that you do kind of suggests that you need your own parental guidance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Even still, if you are willing to spend $30,000 on a lawyer why didn't you have a more suitable place for your daughter that includes a safe structure without faulty windows that need to be taped up and why didn't you purchase a bed for her? I guess I really just don't understand your priorities. Had you used your money more wisely in the beginning you wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place. I'm not sure why you need to be told that your daughter should have her own bed or that she should be living in a structurally sound home but the fact that you do kind of suggests that you need your own parental guidance. This. Honestly, you seem rather helpless. Did the in-laws fabricate everything? ARE you diagnosed with something that would make parenting or thinking logically difficult for you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 Where do I start? Found out I'm pregnant again. Don't even know whether to stay in this marriage. Arguing 24/7 with husband. My in laws are rich, manipulative and emotionally abusive. My daughter is almost 4 and we weren't financially ready to have her. Just like now, only given weeks/ days to decide. Long story short my in laws refused to give my daughter back and they kicked us out. Lied to us for MONTHS that they were going to "increase the days" of giving her back. Couldn't afford to keep living in my sister in laws apartment and had to move back in. Got verbally abused IN FRONT OF CHILD by my sister in law, EVERYDAY. My husband has Asperger's ( I didn't know until now) wouldn't do anything. Been fighting for custody with these evil in laws ever since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 I feel trapped in this marriage as it is and all we do is argue. My husband wants to keep this new baby. But he didn't even care about keeping our daughter, let alone another child. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Sugarkane, you've written a lot about your inlaws and custody issues over the years. Despite us asking many times, you still haven't told us what the grounds are for you not having legal custody. Are you using a Legal Aid lawyer? What do they say? I know housing is expensive here, but tell us more about not being able to afford your own place. Are you and your husband both working? What kind of work do you do? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Legally, they should have no right to take your child. Is there a reason why you have lost custody? Have they proven you to be an unfit parent? Has this been through the legal system? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Well, there are two sides to every story so I'm also interested to hear what the grounds are for them having custody. Judges don't just hand over custody willy-nilly, right? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 I couldn't get LegalAid to help me in time and they wouldn't help me, despite being unemployed at the time and living with my parents. They're customer service is a complete utter joke. Yet they are happy to help people like the Apex Gang who terrorize my city. I've had two lawyers and they both say agreeing to the terms is my best option. I have no savings and can't afford to fight this. The grounds are that I had post natal depression and went into a mother and baby ward, after I had my daughter. Yet ive been on anti depressants ever since and therapy. Considering I've never hurt my child and half the population has depression- I cant get ANY ANSWERS as to why I'm being treated so harshly? I've finished my studying a while ago. I studied Public Relations and struggled to finish with all this court BS aswell. But I couldn't get work in this area and my university sent me around in circles with no help. I was really hoping to use my skills in this area. My husband and I bought a franchise but its been harder than I thought. My husband doesn't want to move out of the city, despite the high rent. Urgh. Sugarkane, you've written a lot about your inlaws and custody issues over the years. Despite us asking many times, you still haven't told us what the grounds are for you not having legal custody. Are you using a Legal Aid lawyer? What do they say? I know housing is expensive here, but tell us more about not being able to afford your own place. Are you and your husband both working? What kind of work do you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 Because I got treatment for post natal depression and I've been punished for that ever since. Well, there are two sides to every story so I'm also interested to hear what the grounds are for them having custody. Judges don't just hand over custody willy-nilly, right? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Because I got treatment for post natal depression and I've been punished for that ever since. I'm very sorry to hear that and hopefully you've overcome it. I know nothing about laws about such things in Australia. Link to post Share on other sites
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