Author Sugarkane Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 I'm a good mother and would do anything for my child. They only got her because I was depressed from being alienated from her- I thought that would be understandable. Sugarkane, this post sounds more like a rant post. Mostly I hear you complaining and blaming your problems on everyone else. I'm not hearing you take responsibility for your own actions. The fact your in laws filed for custody is very telling here. You never once mentioned what kind of mother you are. You've just blamed and complained about everyone else. The fact they won any kind of custody means there's more of this story. I don't sense or feel that you're really doing everything right for your child - but you are trying very hard to gain sympathy from strangers on how "unfair" life has been to you. If you want real help, start listing all the ways you've contributed to this problem YOURSELF and then it will be more obvious what you need to change. That is if you're willing to take responsibility for your current mess and make the necessary changes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 The lawyers also said I could get my child back quicker- if I got pregnant with another child. But I'm too terrified my husband would let the same thing happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 The lawyers also said I could get my child back quicker- if I got pregnant with another child. Well, that is a scary thought. If it has been determined that you are not able to care for your child now, I can't imagine how having another child will improve the situation. I see this all too often at work... What happens is, the other child is taken into foster care too. The answer would be to see a psychiatrist and get stable, solve your marital and financial problems, and take some parenting classes. Then, you can petition for your child... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 My husband just makes excuses not come and do therapy.Well, that is a scary thought. If it has been determined that you are not able to care for your child now, I can't imagine how having another child will improve the situation. I see this all too often at work... What happens is, the other child is taken into foster care too. The answer would be to see a psychiatrist and get stable, solve your marital and financial problems, and take some parenting classes. Then, you can petition for your child... Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 My husband just makes excuses not come and do therapy. How does that stop you from going to individual therapy? And, does that not give you even more reason to leave the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 7, 2018 Author Share Posted August 7, 2018 My sister in law once seemed like a nice person. But when she lost her job and moved back in with my in laws, her true colours showed. She's extremely interfering and rude. She started threatening me and said she deserved my child because she "earns more and therefore is a superior person than us." She would always insult me that I had "my daughter on purpose and I'm a bad mother". My in laws would do NOTHING about her. She's called me a mooch many times. But now that she's yet again earning big Mining $$$, she's still living with my daughter and my in laws. This A**hole has never apologised. When I left and had enough and took my daughter. My in laws took me to court and not her. So now the evil witch gets off on coming to my supervised visits sometimes, when my FIL can't because he's on business. And gets off on bragging about taking my child to see and do things. What to do? According to the court being threatened multiple times while living with them, has "nothing to do with my custody case". Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 Sugarkane Grandparents do have rights. You can't keep them away from their grandchild. Every thread you write is about how others do you wrong financially. Your parents go on vacation rather than giving you money. Your ILs took you to court for visitation rather than just financing your life. You resent that they let their daughter move in with them but won't let you live there. Have you found a job yet? What are you doing to improve your life & your daughter's life? You should be happy that her paternal grandparents take your daughter places. Yet you resent it. Why? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 In this case the grandparents actually have custody of the child. OP this really comes down to adults taking responsibility for themselves. I saw another thread you started recently where you said you moved back in with these people. This has been going on for years because you and your husband, who are both in your thirties, can't get it together and support yourselves. You have no control over other people's lives. If your in-laws wish to allow your sister in-law to live with them then that is their business. You are never going to get your daughter back until you and your husband can prove that you are mature responsible adults who can financially and emotionally care for a child regardless of whether their parents are giving them money and other things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 On what basis are you only allowed to see your child when supervised? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 18, 2018 Author Share Posted August 18, 2018 I haven't moved back with them at all. I was explaining about what happened in the past, leading up to this. In this case the grandparents actually have custody of the child. OP this really comes down to adults taking responsibility for themselves. I saw another thread you started recently where you said you moved back in with these people. This has been going on for years because you and your husband, who are both in your thirties, can't get it together and support yourselves. You have no control over other people's lives. If your in-laws wish to allow your sister in-law to live with them then that is their business. You are never going to get your daughter back until you and your husband can prove that you are mature responsible adults who can financially and emotionally care for a child regardless of whether their parents are giving them money and other things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 18, 2018 Author Share Posted August 18, 2018 As I said in my recent thread I'm now self employed. I'm tryin g to improve the situation but the court process takes a lot of time- it doesn't happen over night. As I said before, I was being threatened my by sister in law repeatedly and I think people told me to leave. Then I did but my in laws used my gullible Aspergers husband against me, saying they weren't going to take custody and kick her out etc etc. Then we went back and they did file for custody. Then they kicked my husband out. But my sister in law is still there living with them. Despite earning big $$$. The hypocrite who called me mooch. Sugarkane Grandparents do have rights. You can't keep them away from their grandchild. Every thread you write is about how others do you wrong financially. Your parents go on vacation rather than giving you money. Your ILs took you to court for visitation rather than just financing your life. You resent that they let their daughter move in with them but won't let you live there. Have you found a job yet? What are you doing to improve your life & your daughter's life? You should be happy that her paternal grandparents take your daughter places. Yet you resent it. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 Court doesn't take children away from their mother for no good reasons. If you lost your child custody it's because a panel of people like social workers, lawyers, judges found you irresponsible. You need to stop fighting with people and get your life on track. You need education or a trade. Australia has social services to help put you back to school and they can give you parenting courses. You are 100% responsible for this situation, you are an adult so start making decisions like one and toward a better life for you and your child. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Carpe Diem Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 What business is it of yours that your in-laws let their own daughter live with them? Who gives a —— how much she makes. It sounds like these people are raising their grandchild because you and your husband are unable to do so. Creating threads on a public advice forum that show a level of maturity and thinking not conducive to successfully being able to provide a stable, intellectual, emotional and fiscal environment for a child, is counter productive. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 What I am noticing is that you seem to have no understanding of parenthood. Starting with you don't understand why this set of parents would choose to help their own daughter rather than you, who is not your daughter. Of course, they are helping you, but not in the way you want. They are helping your child. Can you see that they can tell you don't know what it is to be parental since you can't even understand why they help and favor their own daughter? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 25, 2021 Author Share Posted May 25, 2021 Long story short we’re both 34. We have a 7 year old. I didn’t know how controlling my in laws would get. We lived with them, had an unplanned pregnancy. They pushed us out after about 2 years. We had an agreement to slowly increase the days with my daughter. They didn’t. They completely took over. My husband was working long hours and refused to communicate. We had money problems. Husband wouldn’t communicate. In laws filed for custody. They got custody. It’s been years of empty promises of getting her back. I’d do anything for my daughter and this system has failed me. My husband has gotten physically abusive. All we do is scream and argue. I was so unhappy I cheated. What to do! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 25, 2021 Author Share Posted May 25, 2021 All I wanted was to be a happy family Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 25, 2021 Share Posted May 25, 2021 Wow, this is a horror story ... these in-laws sound worse than rude, they sound positively clingy and mean. People like this can be vicious. Have you visited a family attorney yet? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted May 26, 2021 Author Share Posted May 26, 2021 9 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: Wow, this is a horror story ... these in-laws sound worse than rude, they sound positively clingy and mean. People like this can be vicious. Have you visited a family attorney yet? I’ve been in contact with a new lawyer and waiting for more info. I’m not happy with the old lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 26, 2021 Share Posted May 26, 2021 9 hours ago, Sugarkane said: We had money problems. In laws filed for custody. They got custody. What do you have to do according to the courts to be eligible to get your child back? Do you and your husband both have jobs? Are you both drug free? Do you have appropriate living quarters? If so go to social services and ask that they approve you to get custody. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted May 26, 2021 Share Posted May 26, 2021 I suggest reading all the OPs old threads. All will be clear then. It's not as simple as it seems. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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