Seth2021 Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 I have been in a long distance relationship with this girl for 3years.we talk on the phone for hours and hours literally every single day,we always sleep on the phone we were just so crazy in love we watch movie on line we ola games together but we never saw eachother in person bc we didn't have enough money but when we decided to do it covid hit and everything.so she decided to break up with me.and i found out that she's seeing someone rn.after a month of the breakup she's calling me now to complain about her boyfriend and she's telling me that's not what she wants and how she wants a husband not a boyfriend.knowing that i was gonna propose to her when I see her bc I'm crazy about her 3years in enough to know a person.i just don't know what to do or say bc i love her and I still want her back i seriously need your help guys thank you in advance Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 You haven't met each other so this isn't really three years. It's three years of online correspondence only as chat buddies and online activity buddies. Do you think you can trust a woman like this? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 First of all let's get the nomenclature right. Because you have never met you do not have a long-distance relationship (LDR). You have an on-line relationship (OLR). It's virtual only. Just because it's been going on for 3 years doesn't mean it's real. The clock doesn't start on knowing somebody until you actually meet. At this point you don't even really know each other. The idea that you were going to meet & propose is ludicrous You don't know each other. You have zero idea who each other actual is. You only know who you think the other one is. You don't know if you are compatible. Building a life together involves a lot more than video games & watching movies. Slow your roll way down. When things got tough she dumped you in favor of a local guy. I can understand wanting that nearness but now she's back. You have to recognize that you can't trust her. At the slightest difficulty she bailed on you. Her wanting a husband not a BF is a big red flag. While wanting to get married is a perfectly acceptable desire, there is a process. One must crawl before they walk. Her willingness to dive right in says she has no understanding of what marriage means. You don't seem to appreciate the significance or the work involved either. How old are you two may I ask? Try this instead: go meet up with each other safely. See how you get along, whether you actually like each other in real life. Date for a while, seeing each other as frequently as possible. Close the distance by relocating. Do not move straight into living together. Live nearby & date conventionally. After a year of that, get engaged. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 13 hours ago, Seth2021 said: we never saw eachother in person Sorry this happened. You as well should date local real life people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seth2021 Posted May 31, 2021 Author Share Posted May 31, 2021 Thank you guys for answering me I know i don't know her in real life nor does she but I think talking to someone for at least 5hours every single day for 3years is something and you get to know the person And we made a deal to texts eachother when we're not on the phone every hour and we did it for 3years And I'm not saying that she cheated on me bc she ended the relationship and she tried to move on.and i tried the same when she left. Ps:i live in a whole other country so relocating isn't gonna help at all But we're planning to see each other soon now that the borders are reopening Link to post Share on other sites
JaxB Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 I don’t think that being long distance makes it less than being in a relationship in person or more local. It’s about the bond, communication and connection you both have with each other. Having been in a long distance relation myself, I do know that it can be very different once you’re in person than what you may have expected. However, the fact that she moved on and is still with this person but vents to you about it makes me wonder how serious is she? If you see each other and want to make it work, who will be the one to move? are you willing to leave everything behind for this person? Is she willing to leave everything behind for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 You do not have a LDR. You can't be in a relationship with someone you have never met, regardless how long you talk every day. You are online chat buddies. If after 3 years you still don't have enough money to book a flight, then I struggle to understand how you think you can have any sort of relationship, with her or anyone else for that matter. She did the right thing by finding a local guy. When you are actually able to see each other, then meet up and see what happens, if you BOTH still want to. Until then carry on with life and carry on meeting other women in the real world. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 6 hours ago, Punterxx said: You do not have a LDR. You can't be in a relationship with someone you have never met, regardless how long you talk every day. You are online chat buddies. This. It is concerning that so many attach themselves so deeply and for so long to someone they've never met in person. OP, I would unplug and try to meet local women. What you have is not a relationship. It would be different if you'd also spent time together in person and were separated by distance, but you have spent zero time in each other's presence. It is not smart to limit yourself to anyone under such circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seth2021 Posted June 10, 2021 Author Share Posted June 10, 2021 It is a relationship!!if you never tried something like this ,you can't say anything about it and what kinda of advice is that?see people in real life but still plan to see each other ?lmao what would that be for the person I'm seeing in real life ?wouldn't that be what's it called?cheating!! Lmao thanks anyway Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Nobody is telling you to cheat, OP. What we are telling you is that this is not a real relaitonship. You are not dating if you never been on a date with each other. It is practical advice for the real world, as cyber relaitonships usually eventually end when one person meets someone local. Is there a reason you are hesitant meet women in real life? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 14 hours ago, Seth2021 said: It is a relationship Yes. It's a cyber-relationship you're dissatisfied with. And that's understandable. Link to post Share on other sites
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