How to handle a jumpy roomate

[Butterflying]

I’ve been living with an older female roommate for six months due to a job assignment. She has many annoying quirks that I can tolerate except one that I have seriously had enough of. 
 

Every time I walk into a room or in the hallway or the stairs wherever she happens to be first, she gasps in fear as if I startled her. This morning I simply opened my bedroom door in order to go to the restroom. She was in her room across the hall with the door open. And she gasped instead of saying “good morning.” 
 

I’m a very peaceful person & soft spoken. I’ve never done anything for her to fear. And after six months, with other people living in the house as well, she should be used to encountering “someone” everywhere in the house.
 

So this morning I was over it! I asked her why she always does that to me. She smiled & said she just has bad nerves. 
 

I walked away shaking my head. Because for six months, I have been tiptoeing around her, trying not to startle her. Now I see it doesn’t matter what I do. It’s not my problem. And I am tired of feeling uncomfortable because of her. What should I do? Moving out is not an option. 

[glows]

You're right. It isn't your problem so try not to make it your problem. It sounds like all of you are still acclimating. Be more patient with one another. You don't know what walks of life others are coming from.

I don't think she's doing anything to you specifically or intentionally. That's just who she is. Don't take this too personally.

[Alpacalia]

Some individuals are just naturally more jumpy than others.

Or, maybe she's an anxious person or there is some underlying medical condition like Hyperekplexia.

Ask her if there's a way that you can approach her more warily.

 

[Butterflying]

10 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Some individuals are just naturally more jumpy than others.

Or, maybe she's an anxious person or there is some underlying medical condition like Hyperekplexia.

Ask her if there's a way that you can approach her more warily.

 

That’s the problem. I’m not approaching her. I’m just moving about the house comfortably minding my own business (bathroom, kitchen, stairwell) until she comes along & gasps in fear as if I’ve done something wrong. The first time it happened, I was startled!! Like “oh my God what?” Now all these months later she’s still doing it. I’m just super annoyed & offended by it. She doesn’t do it to anyone else in the house. 

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Butterflying said:

That’s the problem. I’m not approaching her. I’m just moving about the house comfortably minding my own business (bathroom, kitchen, stairwell) until she comes along & gasps in fear as if I’ve done something wrong. The first time it happened, I was startled!! Like “oh my God what?” Now all these months later she’s still doing it. I’m just super annoyed & offended by it. She doesn’t do it to anyone else in the house. 

Okay.

Try letting her know how it has a negative impact on you and whether it is something you can both work on. Given you said moving isn't an option, you'll both have to figure out how to coexist peacefully with each other.

[Wiseman2]

Ignore her. She seems to have an exaggerated startle response. The less you react and just go about your business, the better you'll feel. Who knows, maybe she has issues or drinks too much coffee.

[basil67]

Have you ever discussed this in a non-confrontational manner?   You may find that she also feels frustrated by her reactions. 

Anyway, try to look at it with sympathy (or even amusement) instead of frustration.

[ShyViolet]

I would probably go about my business and literally ignore it.  I wouldn't tiptoe around, since that isn't working or helping the situation anyway.