Good vs Bad.

[Biff Bagwell]

A question to ponder,

 

I have been a nice guy my whole life, but over many a times, I have been used for my money, for my kindness, for my trust, etc.

 

Recently, a few of my friends gave me some werid advice, but, with nothing else working, and getting tired of going on dates where i spend all the money and i drive and i do everything, yet sort of feel like i'm getting brushed off, i used their advice and started treating woman like dirt.

 

I mean, it's hard and i feel really bad about it, but by being a jerk, and not always offering to pay for stuff, not really being nice, etc, i have been with more woman than i ever have before. I mean, hot interesting and intelligent woman.

 

Being nice for the first 25 years of my life resulted in 2 serious relationships, both around 3 years long, And not much of anything else, not that many dates, not that many of anything.

 

So i took my friends advice and i've had about 25 dates in 2 months, and i think i've paid for only 4 of them. ANd i have 3 girlfriends and they treat like gold. I just don't know, being nice never did this for me.

 

My question is, because so many people say, you should just be yourself, etc, well i was myself for so long and as a matter of fact, NICE GUYS seem to finish last.

 

ANy opinions?

[Tony T]

Fake begets fake. You may be getting lots of dates but you are doing so under very false pretenses.

 

I am the absolute first and foremost person in the world to advocate what your friends are telling you. Being too nice will often get you in trouble. But there's a big difference between just being normal, being aloof, being a challenge...and treating women like dirt.

 

Women who must be treated like dirt in order to treat you nice are, in my opinion, not very good material for mates. They are simply immature or mentally deficient.

 

I'm glad you're getting more dates now but they are pretty phoney situations, in my opinion. Frankly, you should be extremely proud of having two three-year relationships before age 25. I think that was great.

 

Now that you've created a phoney you, if you're comfortable with that by all means do continue.

 

But it would be preferable if you could just learn you don't have to kiss a lady's butt to get her to like you that would be much better. You are much more likely to find quality women that way.

 

When you get tired of all these dates with nutso, masochistic women, move back toward the middle of the road.

 

And as you get older, you will find that older, more mature women will respond very negatively to being treated like crap and will be a lot more receptive to a kind gentleman. Even then, they will be very enthusiastic about a man who has some mystery about him and is NOT too nice.

 

Remember, being too nice has no relationship to treating women like trash. You'll never, ever get a quality woman like that. You'll only get lots of girls who are from dysfunctional families and who equate being treated that way with love because their fathers treated them like that. You'll find they've got lots of problems they haven't worked out yet.

 

But congratulations on all the dates of late. Hope you're having fun.