Missy Ann Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 Hello, I just found this site today and I am hoping it can help me navigate my upcoming divorce. To make a long story short, my husband is not physically abusive. But I am afraid of him anyway. I never was... ...until two days ago. We had an argument about him spending money on beer and cigarettes for himself (which he does every day.) We had a verbal argument and when I was out of the room, he called the police on me. I now have a police report with my name in it, accusing me of domestic violence. And while I didn't get arrested, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. My marriage is over. There is nothing left to fight for. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 13 minutes ago, Missy Ann said: he called the police on me. I now have a police report with my name in it, accusing me of domestic violence. And I didn't get arrested On what basis did he call? Yes get a divorce asap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Missy Ann Posted May 27, 2021 Author Share Posted May 27, 2021 He claimed I was keeping him from leaving the house, like he was my prisoner. Two points here: 1. He's not in any physical condition to leave the house alone. 2. Even if he was, he can't keep spending our money on beer and cigarettes everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Missy Ann said: He claimed I was keeping him from leaving the house, like he was my prisoner. Two points here: 1. He's not in any physical condition to leave the house alone. 2. Even if he was, he can't keep spending our money on beer and cigarettes everyday. What happened when the police arrived? Did he leave the house? True you can not restrain or restrict someone from leaving. It doesn't matter what your wishes/assessment is. You need to get him out and get divorced This is not going to end well. You are abusing each other in your own ways. Stop giving him money for booze/cigarettes. If it's his money, oh well. But never restrain anyone from leaving. Next time call 911 if he is inebriated or belligerent . Edited May 27, 2021 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Missy Ann Posted May 27, 2021 Author Share Posted May 27, 2021 He hasn't worked in 11 years, so as far as I am concerned it is not his money. But he disagrees with that and will go to any lengths to get what he wants. At the expense of us being able to pay our bills and live our life. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 But this isn't about him being too lazy to work. If he's too ill to leave the house, then he's probably not able to work - and as the married partner, it becomes your role to support both of you. Just as any other partner would do for their spouse if they are ill. While budgeting is super important, telling him what he can and can't spend money on is being financially controlling. What if you were to make a budget and put the money required for living expenses in a separate account, in your name only and then give him the same amount of discretionary spending money as you have. Then it becomes a whole lot fairer and is no longer controlling. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 28, 2021 Share Posted May 28, 2021 I agree you should get a divorce but you are about to learn how much entitlement he does have to "your" money Alimony is about supporting a non-working spouse in the style to which they were accustomed during the marriage. If he's too ill to leave the house & hasn't worked in 11 years you will have to pay. Do physically separate so he can't call the cops on you & make false claims again. Link to post Share on other sites
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