Wamui Posted May 29, 2021 Share Posted May 29, 2021 I really don't know where to start but long story short, I was at my boyfriend's workplace and I was tipsy, more like drunk. I was there for personal reasons but I decided to pop in his office to say hi.He was in a zoom meeting and he was the speaker.Well he did put himself on mute for a few minutes and we had a good enough conversation..but the problem was I kept coming back for no reason..I kept distracting him and this really pissed him off..When I finally decided not to go back to the room again I took my phone and started calling him.I really don't know why I was calling..I just wanted to talk.He outright blocked me.Do you think. finding him at his workplace and being a total distraction is forgivable? We've barely even started off.. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted May 29, 2021 Share Posted May 29, 2021 I wouldn't be surprised if he dumps you for this immature, childish behavior. You're not ready to date until you work on yourself and change some things. Showing up at your boyfriend's job drunk suggests a drinking problem. Maybe you need help for that. If not then at least some therapy. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 29, 2021 Share Posted May 29, 2021 Consider researching "insecure attachment style" and seeing if it fits you. I think you've shown him you can't act appropriately. A job is not something to be taken lightly, and here you are putting his at risk. It's hard to know, but since you indicate you're not solid yet, I'd say it's a better than 50% chance he will end things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 29, 2021 Share Posted May 29, 2021 I very much doubt you can salvage this. What on earth were you thinking? No-one would put up with this at their work. He was also on a zoom call... You can't really blame the drink, this was insane behaviour. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted May 29, 2021 Share Posted May 29, 2021 2 hours ago, Wamui said: I shouldn't have been there in the first should I give him space? Yes, space. I’m guessing he’ll give you plenty as well. Just when you think you’ve heard it all... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 29, 2021 Share Posted May 29, 2021 If someone who wanted to be with me showed up at my work drunk and demanding attention I would block them on everything possible. No, just leave him alone now to prevent further embarrassment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted May 29, 2021 Share Posted May 29, 2021 Lesson learned for you I hope. This demonstrated very poor judgment and no respect for boundaries. This is probably over. If you have a drinking issue get that addressed pronto. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alfano Posted May 29, 2021 Share Posted May 29, 2021 I don't get this part "I was at his workplace for personal reasons but decided to pop in on him". So were you there to see him, or were you there for unrelated reasons and then made an impulsive decision to take your drunken self into his office and interrupt him in the midst of an important meeting? Just trying to figure out how your mind processes these dysfunctional self destructive sorts of impulsive decisions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HealingJay Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 Well it was mistake and you can't take it back so no use beating yourself up over it. If he decides to end things because of your actions then just use the experience as a lesson for what not to do the next time. If he decides to stay then you need to be more mindful of your impulse reactions and stay away from his office when you're drunk lol. I hope it all works out ❤ Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 (edited) 9 hours ago, Wamui said: Do you think. finding him at his workplace and being a total distraction is forgivable? What do you think? I mean, your question is disingenuous considering the title of your thread is: "Disrespected him at his work place" Being a total distraction is showing up looking amazing, acting sane and sober until he was done with his meeting -- you showed up messy drunk and disrupted company business. You got away pretty lightly if all you got was him blocking you, which is what he should have done. Edited May 30, 2021 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 So---yes, this is a deal-breaker, this would be a non-negotiable automatic break-up for most people, and especially so early on. I don't even know how to characterize that behavior; you're telling him that you can't be trusted on a fundamental level and you're willing to jeopardize his career for your entertainment. It is almost akin to cheating in that it indicates very basic problems with trust and judgment, and demonstrates how grossly unfit you are for an adult relationship. But what strikes me is that you seem just as confused about characterizing this as I am. You are correct on the what (disrespecting him at work), but you don't seem to understand why (you harassed him "for some reason"?). Is this because you have a problem with substance abuse, or have you exhibited this type of behavior while sober? Have you ever acted out in a similar fashion due to insecurity, fear, jealousy, etc? While you can safely assume this relationship is toast, it's much more important to understand why this happened, so you can prevent it from happening again. Needless to say this is not something that any partner would tolerate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 you sound wacky haha,...what’s your age? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wamui Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 No I don't have a drinking problem.it just happened I was tipsy and around his workplace.I needed to go pick some of my documents from the place but not from him.he wasn't even aware of it.Then I messed up Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wamui Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 10 hours ago, mark clemson said: Consider researching "insecure attachment style" and seeing if it fits you. I think you've shown him you can't act appropriately. A job is not something to be taken lightly, and here you are putting his at risk. It's hard to know, but since you indicate you're not solid yet, I'd say it's a better than 50% chance he will end things. This I understand. . and I regretted my actions as soon as it hit me I shouldn't be in that office in my state but I had already it way too far by then 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wamui Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 6 hours ago, Alfano said: I don't get this part "I was at his workplace for personal reasons but decided to pop in on him". So were you there to see him, or were you there for unrelated reasons and then made an impulsive decision to take your drunken self into his office and interrupt him in the midst of an important meeting? Just trying to figure out how your mind processes these dysfunctional self destructive sorts of impulsive decisions. I was there for unrelated reasons..then decided to say hi which was a very stupid decision especially because I knew he was busy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wamui Posted May 30, 2021 Author Share Posted May 30, 2021 What's worse is.. Tomorrow, Monday ,the companies we both work for are to have a meeting. He's going to be present as the company's representative and I will be present too.i don't know how I'll pull through.i'm so embarrassed Link to post Share on other sites
Donnas Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 How old are you?Anyways this is not ok or normal. And he barelly knows you and you do this already? Best is for him to break up with you. And you seek a AA meeting because sounds like you got a drinking problem and are making problems for yourself and others. No one wants to lose their job or deal with such drama and that early in the relationship. Take care of your issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 2 hours ago, Wamui said: company's representative and I will be present too.i don't know how I'll pull through.i'm so embarrassed Have good strong coffee. Forget the whole thing. You can't unring a bell. Just act normal and professional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 3 hours ago, Wamui said: No I don't have a drinking problem.it just happened I was tipsy and around his workplace.I needed to go pick some of my documents from the place but not from him.he wasn't even aware of it.Then I messed up Respectfully, it sounds like you're minimizing the issue. If this is how you behave when you drink then you shouldn't be drinking, period. There are plenty of people who can't drink because of how it affects their behavior; if that includes you, that's OK, but you need to own it and stop drinking. If there's another reason why you're acting this way you have to get at the root cause. Based on what you have said here and in subsequent posts it sounds like you and this guy work closely together even if it's at different companies. There's a very good chance your employer will find out about what you did, if they haven't already. You need to be prepared for professional consequences. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 On 5/29/2021 at 6:31 PM, Wamui said: Do you think. finding him at his workplace and being a total distraction is forgivable? Absolutely not. Sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alfano Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 ^^Disagree. Sure it's forgivable, depends on him and his boundaries and dealbreakers. Some forgive cheating and beating. Perhaps you've got a mental disorder and he knows it and is accepting of it, and/or you make up for it in other ways if you know what I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 On 5/30/2021 at 1:17 AM, Wamui said: No I don't have a drinking problem.it just happened I was tipsy and around his workplace.I needed to go pick some of my documents from the place but not from him.he wasn't even aware of it.Then I messed up On 5/29/2021 at 12:31 PM, Wamui said: I was at my boyfriend's workplace and I was tipsy, more like drunk. Here you admit you were drunk. Boyfriend aside, why would you enter a professional place to pick up documents drunk. You need to address your drinking problem. He already knows/think you have a drinking problem. Most people would when you show up at a place like that drunk. Hope it doesn't affect your job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 On 6/2/2021 at 1:50 PM, Alfano said: Sure it's forgivable, depends on him and his boundaries and dealbreakers. it depends upon how much he liked the forward trajectory of his career path at that company and how much he likes being able to pay his bills. No, messing with people's money will get you all kinds of hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 (edited) On 5/29/2021 at 12:31 PM, Wamui said: .Do you think. finding him at his workplace and being a total distraction is forgivable? We've barely even started off.. Because this was a new relationship, he thinks this terrible behavior is who you really are & that it will be repeated. He can't take that chance. Plus his colleagues & bosses will think less of him professionally if he takes you back; they are already questioning professional judgment based on your drunken behavior. At the meeting where you will both be present, you be professional, nothing more. Do not bring up anything personal then, or even on company time at all. Edited June 13, 2021 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 17, 2021 Share Posted June 17, 2021 On 5/29/2021 at 10:26 PM, Wamui said: What's worse is.. Tomorrow, Monday ,the companies we both work for are to have a meeting. He's going to be present as the company's representative and I will be present too.i don't know how I'll pull through.i'm so embarrassed This was awhile ago. How did the meeting go? Link to post Share on other sites
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