How to navigate a 25 year age gap

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, NonJudgmental2021 said:

My mother is alive, she is quite old but she is well-educated and in tune with the times.

Your mother is in her - 70’s, 80’s. Did she work outside the home when she was younger? How many years has she been retired? 

Do you really think that it’s possible for a woman well into her golden years who has never worked or dated in today’s day and age to speak to current trends and practices in the workplace or dating/relationships? Even if she did work outside the home, office culture was very different 20, 30, 40 years ago than it is now…

I loved my grandfather dearly and he was a well educated and knowledgable man. He had also never worked with a computer during his professional employment. He once called me over to fix his home computer - it turned out the monitor was not plugged into the wall. Good thing I never went to him for IT support. 

Edited June 19, 2021 by BaileyB

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, NonJudgmental2021 said:

Quick update - I have decided to move to a new apartment elsewhere. We parted well - some light hearted  jokes and talk about our respective cultures and families. All's well that ends well. . 

Good luck in the new place. Glad you had a chance to chitchat a bit more.

[NonJudgmental2021]

33 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Good luck in the new place. Glad you had a chance to chitchat a bit more.

Thanks Wiseman2. You were non-judgemental and your comments were helpful.

[SumGuy]

9 hours ago, NonJudgmental2021 said:

.....If I was 55 (or any other age, for that matter) and married to someone I adore, I wouldn't engage in banter with a  woman at my office, nor "jokingly shoot the sh*t back and forth with another woman" - that would be disrespectful to my adorable wife. 

If I may say so, you're what is labelled as an "office wife" . I would never disrespect my wife by seeking /maintaining  any kind of intimacy with a female colleague at work. Yes, yours is platonic, but it's still intimate.

?? You hold to this judgmental notion yet don't think twice (and stop yourself from fantasizing about) a woman who is young enough to be your daughter, or even younger ??  

Yes by a broad definition platonic friendship is "intimate" but not what most take the word to mean.  I guess you wouldn't talk to male co-workers as well or shoot the sh*t with them, after all they could be homo- or bisexual...but to each their own I guess, it is not like anyone cares who you talk to at work.

[Acacia98]

7 hours ago, jspice said:

You can close this thread as many times as you like. It’s clear to everyone that you’re unable and unwilling to have normal social interactions. 

I don't share your interpretation of OP's posts. So I'm definitely not part of the "everyone" you appear to be speaking for here.

10 hours ago, NonJudgmental2021 said:

Quick update - I have decided to move to a new apartment elsewhere.

The decision was liberating in many ways.

Overcame the hesitation to speak with her about things- and we sort of chatted a bit. It got real from both sides. She knows my age  now - said that she was kinda aware of it - and she now understands my hesitation. We parted well - some light hearted  jokes and talk about our respective cultures and families.

All's well that ends well. Uh, hmm. 

So your initial reading of her actions was correct? She was interested?

[jspice]

1 hour ago, Acacia98 said:

I don't share your interpretation of OP's posts. So I'm definitely not part of the "everyone" you appear to be speaking for here.

Good for you …? 🙄

 

[NonJudgmental2021]

15 hours ago, Acacia98 said:

So your initial reading of her actions was correct? She was interested?

Yes, she "is" interested. But I am getting out of the building and I am not leaving my contact information with her. 

Guess I am, partly, bowing, to the pressure of the anonymous naysayers here.

Edited June 20, 2021 by NonJudgmental2021

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 6/20/2021 at 6:18 AM, NonJudgmental2021 said:

Yes, she "is" interested. But I am getting out of the building and I am not leaving my contact information with her. 

Guess I am, partly, bowing, to the pressure of the anonymous naysayers here.

Wait, why are you moving?

[Blind-Sided]

On 6/20/2021 at 9:18 AM, NonJudgmental2021 said:

Yes, she "is" interested. But I am getting out of the building and I am not leaving my contact information with her. 

Guess I am, partly, bowing, to the pressure of the anonymous naysayers here.

Well, that's dumb.  If she is interested, and you are moving... then this is perfect.  Give her your number.

[Daisydooks]

On 6/19/2021 at 7:50 AM, NonJudgmental2021 said:

Thank you for sharing your personal story - helps to understand things from yet another point of view.

If I was 55 (or any other age, for that matter) and married to someone I adore, I wouldn't engage in banter with a  woman at my office, nor "jokingly shoot the sh*t back and forth with another woman" - that would be disrespectful to my adorable wife. 

If I may say so, you're what is labelled as an "office wife" . I would never disrespect my wife by seeking /maintaining  any kind of intimacy with a female colleague at work. Yes, yours is platonic, but it's still intimate.

Um? What? 😂 I have in the past had friends at work I was much closer to than this man I speak to for 4 minutes a day/20 minutes a week. Haha. A work wife, he may have, but I am not her, I assure you. Haha. Speaking to a human being at work is not disrspectful to my husband.  Im only allowed to speak to women or Im a work wife who disrespects my husband? 😂 What kind of 1950s s*** is that? 

I assure you, Id banter this way in front of my husband and never once would he feel I should ignore men I work with because he feels I cant speak to people of the opposite sex? This is delusional. At best

[Daisydooks]

Anyway, good luck in the  new place!

I wasnt a naysayer attempting to dissuade you from attempting to date this woman. I was simply sharing that women can actually engage in nonsensical and harmless banter with the opposite sex. If I somehow dissuaded you or got lumped into a crowd of those judging you for being an older man seeking out a younger female, I'm sorry. That was not my intent

 Now that youre moving, you wouldn't be "shitting where you eat" so to speak, and she seems interested... so why bow out? I dont get it. Lol. When you move, leave her your contact info. Then the ball is in her court to follow up.  No harm, no foul. If you know she is interested, whats stopping you from doing so? Surely not internet strangers?