Kitty123123 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 My guy friend started giving me mostly a side-hug, or no hug at all, but he hugs others freely with both arms, and kisses other women on the cheek, in front of me. Then one night, he put his arm around my waist when we were walking - something he's never done before. He also spends more time with me than with anyone else - most of the time it's just the two of us alone. He's told me that he always enjoys it when we visit each other. To me, a hug with both arms, is something friends do, and I hug all my friends - guys and girls - the same way I used to hug him - in front of him. And to me, a guy's arm around a girl's waist, is something couples do. I've never spent so much time with any of my other guy friends before, and he initiates most of the time we spend together. After one such visit, I tried to hug him, and he held out his hand for a handshake instead. I am scared to initiate any hugs with him now, because he rejected my hug before, so I wait for him instead, even when it looked like he wanted me to hug him. Is he interested, or not interested? I can't tell. I'm beyond confused about his behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 11 hours ago, Kitty123123 said: Is he interested, or not interested? I can't tell. I'm beyond confused about his behavior. He seems like a friend, not more. However if you stay in this situationship you'll miss out on guys who are interested in dating. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2021 Share Posted May 30, 2021 my guess A) he is not interested so does not want to lead you on in a romantic sense B) he is not interested in dating you but is attracted so keeps his distance. C) He is interested but doesn't want to let the game away by getting too close. D) He is interested but has another girl in mind, so he keeps it strictly platonic with you. On balance I think if he was interested he would make his interest felt and a hug is an easy thing to do especially since he hugs everyone else... but he seems to in fact be keeping you at arm's length, literally. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 My guess is he's conflicted ... he has mixed feelings ... but bottom line, I think he does like you romantically but is scared to touch you for fear that that interest will come out. The reverse could be true. Yes, I avoid closely hugging women who (I thought) wanted more than I wanted. But you're not asking the right question. You're off the track. You get on track with this question: do YOU like him? Do you have romantic interest? If the answer is yes, then that involves one set of strategies. If the answer is no, then why are you even asking about his feelings here? He's acting like someone who has long known you, long had an interest in you ... but didn't feel like you had an interest in him. So he's learned to just contain his own feelings and to police his own affection towards you, because he thinks you have no interest in him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitty123123 Posted June 1, 2021 Author Share Posted June 1, 2021 Thanks for the replies everyone.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitty123123 Posted June 1, 2021 Author Share Posted June 1, 2021 20 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: My guess is he's conflicted ... he has mixed feelings ... but bottom line, I think he does like you romantically but is scared to touch you for fear that that interest will come out. The reverse could be true. Yes, I avoid closely hugging women who (I thought) wanted more than I wanted. But you're not asking the right question. You're off the track. You get on track with this question: do YOU like him? Do you have romantic interest? If the answer is yes, then that involves one set of strategies. If the answer is no, then why are you even asking about his feelings here? He's acting like someone who has long known you, long had an interest in you ... but didn't feel like you had an interest in him. So he's learned to just contain his own feelings and to police his own affection towards you, because he thinks you have no interest in him. Yes I do have feelings for him.. and you're right, I've known him for a long time.. a couple of years.. Amazingly your last paragraph describes me perfectly... I didn't feel like he had an interest in me, so I've been hiding my feelings as best as I can. I feared losing the friendship if I confessed my feelings, because it happened to me with someone else in the past. But then he started spending all this time with me just a couple of months ago, and calling me often, and he put his arm around my waist as we were walking one night, out of the blue... for the first time since I've known him, and when he started spending all this time with me, he started to change the way he hugged me, but kept hugging everyone else the same as before.. "The reverse could be true. Yes, I avoid closely hugging women who (I thought) wanted more than I wanted." Would you then still do the other things he's doing... spend a lot of time alone with them, or walk beside them with your arm around their waist... or would you avoid being alone with them at all if you suspected they had feelings for you, and not touch them at all? I would be so happy if he is interested in me too... Link to post Share on other sites
Donnas Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 he may not see you the way you see him. just ask him why. looks like he just see you as a cool freind but you are thinking romance...😭😭😄🙄 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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