HealingJay Posted May 30, 2021 Posted May 30, 2021 I'm recovering from codependency and have remained single and celibate while working on myself. Now I'm starting to work on a friendship with the man I was with when I recognized I had codependency issues. We have been moving very slow but I find my need to control things and push for specific reactions and outcomes is driving me crazy. I never realized how bad it was and how hard it is for me to let things flow naturally and allow him to be himself. I love him but part of me wants to give up and stay single because it's easier. I know I don't truly want that but I feel like I'm crazy and I'm failing. I feel like he's going to get tired of me and leave. Im lost and confused and just needed to communicate it. Thank you to whomever stopped to read this
basil67 Posted May 30, 2021 Posted May 30, 2021 HI HealingJay, you don't say exactly what behaviour of his that you're frustrated with, but from what I can make out, it sounds like you're wanting more commitment than he's giving. Thing is, if a person won't commit or sits on the fence for too long, many people get upset and frustrated. Question is, how long is "too long"? Can you give more background? What's going on and how long has it been like this?
Sun Seeker Posted May 30, 2021 Posted May 30, 2021 I think you are overcomplicating things as it just sounds like you are simply not compatible if you feel you have to push for certain reactions and outcomes. Find someone else who has the reactions and outcomes you are looking for, without needing you to push for it, you will be much happier. 1
Wiseman2 Posted May 30, 2021 Posted May 30, 2021 7 hours ago, HealingJay said: I'm recovering from codependency and have remained single and celibate while working on myself. Now I'm starting to work on a friendship with the man I was with when I recognized I had codependency issues. We have been moving very slow but I find my need to control things and push for specific reactions and outcomes is driving me crazy. I never realized how bad it was and how hard it is for me to let things flow naturally and allow him to be himself. I love him but part of me wants to give up and stay single because it's easier. I know I don't truly want that but I feel like I'm crazy and I'm failing. I feel like he's going to get tired of me and leave. Im lost and confused and just needed to communicate it. Thank you to whomever stopped to read this If this is an ex, you need to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. You'll never feel well in an unbalanced situationship. You also don't need all the labels and trending words or a bulemic approach to dating. It's not celibacy or overinvolment. Balance yourself with the help of medical professionals. This way you'll be able to date knowing your boundaries and what you are looking for.
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