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What would think/do if your SO told you 'I've met someone'

Zebarbu

By Zebarbu,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Zebarbu

Zebarbu

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Say they've moved abroad temporarily or they're at University some place.

 

If they told you "I met someone", what would you think and how would you feel?

 

 

To me, this is 100% clear they're cheating.

 

 

What would drive someone to continue seeing a person who has told you this??

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basil67

basil67

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Just six weeks ago you were taking a new girl on a date.   What's the story here?  

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Zebarbu

Zebarbu

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46 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Just six weeks ago you were taking a new girl on a date.   What's the story here?  

And I'm still dating her, but this has nothing to do with her. Just wondering.

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elaine567

elaine567

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If she is telling you she met someone she is in fact breaking up with you.
It is code for we are no longer dating.

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Zebarbu

Zebarbu

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8 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

If she is telling you she met someone she is in fact breaking up with you.
It is code for we are no longer dating.

yet I can imagine plenty of guys will not get it and continue to believe there's a chance?

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elaine567

elaine567

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1 minute ago, Zebarbu said:

yet I can imagine plenty of guys will not get it and continue to believe there's a chance?

Why would they? It is pretty clear if she says she met someone else she is not interested.

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Zebarbu

Zebarbu

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1 minute ago, elaine567 said:

Why would they? It is pretty clear if she says she met someone else she is not interested.

It's blaringly obvious to me.

If my girl had told me this, I would instantly know she had cheated on me and I would break up. I wouldn't go and see her, I would cut contact and move on.

 

You have to have a very low self-esteem and serious lack of self-respect to continue to chase her down.

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elaine567

elaine567

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She may not have actually cheated on you. She may just have literally met a guy she is interested in taking things further with.

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Zebarbu

Zebarbu

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5 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

She may not have actually cheated on you. She may just have literally met a guy she is interested in taking things further with.

This is all hypothetical. It's not happening to me.

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basil67

basil67

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2 hours ago, Zebarbu said:

This is all hypothetical. It's not happening to me.

It doesn't make sense that you'd worry about such an obscure thing to the point of posting about it. 

I suspect that you're the one who went away, and the girl you asked on a date is "I met someone" and you're wondering how the girl back home will react.

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Wiseman2

Wiseman2

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2 hours ago, Zebarbu said:

,I would instantly know she had cheated on me and I would break up. I

It means it's over and they're informing whoever why.

You wouldn't have to break up because that message is the breakup.

It's not cheating unless she leaves her bra there.

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Taramere

Taramere

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6 hours ago, Zebarbu said:

To me, this is 100% clear they're cheating.

Not necessarily. She could be making it up as an excuse to end the relationship.  The only certaintly is that somebody who says "I've met somebody else" does want to end the relationship with the person they're saying that to.

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mark clemson

mark clemson

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Since we are dealing in hypotheticals here, if it was a marriage and this occurred, I think it'd be reasonable to assume an EA. That is an assumption, technically, but the chance they are giving up a marriage to monkeybranch to someone else who they don't even know well enough to have some feelings for IMO approaches zero.

There would be little point in "chasing" the partner as their intent to divorce would be pretty apparent either way.

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MsJayne

MsJayne

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"I met someone" means "I met someone who I'm going to pursue a relationship with", and, what would motivate someone to keep up an involvement with that person? Either they have an agreement that they can see other people or they're refusing to acknowledge that their relationship is over. 

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smackie9

smackie9

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It means they are giving the heads up they are breaking up and moving on before they start dating this someone.

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kendahke

kendahke

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I would immediately think that our relationship was over. I mean, what else is there to think?  You can't force anyone to be in a relationship they don't want to be in.

Especially when he's moved out of the country to another.

He's not cut out for LDR's.

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kendahke

kendahke

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On 5/31/2021 at 4:19 AM, Zebarbu said:

yet I can imagine plenty of guys will not get it and continue to believe there's a chance?

That's their problem, though...

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