figgurinoutlife Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 well it finally happened, My ex confesed that she is still in love with me, and that she never fell out of love with me. I have wrote on here alot about her giving me mixed signals, being hot and cold, etc. She told me she has been giving me pieces of her puzzle in hopes that I would figure out that she still likes me. We have been broken up for over a year, and I wanted to get back with her last March, but she didn't saying I was too boring or something like that. I guess she is liking me again cause I have changed, completely, she says. I will write more on what I did to get her interested again, The thing is, is that she is with someone else, her boyfriend. They have been together for about 6 mos. and they moved in together. She confessed she is in love with 2 people, me, and her boyfriend. She wants to know how I feel about her so she can make a decision. I am very scared in telling her how I still love her and want to give it a second chance but am afraid she just wants what she cannot have, or just wants to see if I still like her, or maybe it's an ego boost for her? I am still in love with her, but I don't know if she would leave her boyfriend for me or not. What do you do if your ex says she is in love with you and her boyfriend? What do you do to get her to choose you? Should I talk to her about how I feel or just let her keep trying to pursue me, keep in mind that she doesn't always bring up still liking me everytime we talk because I think she is scared to or afraid I will reject her. Does anyone see anything here that I am not seeing? So what is the best way to get her to choose me? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Why would you want her to chose you ?? That means you would be her 2nd choice.. and a death sentence. No man deserves to be womans 2nd choice.. and here are some words to remember the next time she pulls your chain. IF she really loved you she would be with YOU.. Not her BF.. Remember he is banging her not you .. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Do you really think this is helping you get over her? Tell her to take a hike... she deserves it. I bet it'll rock her world, too. Link to post Share on other sites
allaboutchoices Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 She needs to make a decision based on how SHE feels. If I understand right, if you say you want her back she would leave her bf. Hm...so that means she has him as a back-up. Or she has you as a back-up. If she really loved you she would probably be alone now. Also, if she comes back with you, is she going to run back to her new love (as she says)? I would be very careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author figgurinoutlife Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 Seems to me this girl can't be alone, that she always has to be in a relationship. Should I say something to her about the way I feel? Or then if I did would she take her time deciding knowing that she knows I still like her? She is definitely not a shy person, but acts shy about bringing it up that she wants to talk, or has trouble bringing it up, as if she's scared that she'll get the wrong reaction out of me. She is like pussyfooting around the whole thing, but she did spill that she was still in love with me. Do you think if she's really in love with me she'll keep pursuing me? If anyone out there has been in love with 2 people, how did you decide? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 She is not pussyfooting.. You are "IF she really loved you she would be with YOU.. Not her BF.." Link to post Share on other sites
hooghie Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Dated guy #1 and he broke my heart. I was so in love with him. Started dating guy #2. He was stable and really nice to me, spent time with me, etc. A year or 2 later, I still had some feelings for #1 so I contacted him behind #2's back. We got together a few times and he wanted to get back together. It was a very hard decision for me, but I chose #2 for his stability and the fact that he had never broken my heart. I ended up marrying #2, but divorced a few years later. Whatever drove me back to #1- even though we didn't end up together (and I know it was the right choice), I shouldn't have been with #2 either. If #2 was the right one, I would have never gone back to #1. I really don't think you should give her a chance. Even IF she chooses you, she will probably hurt you again someday. She would never have broken up with you otherwise. ALSO, she MOVED IN with another guy! Sounds like it would be a roller coaster drama ride from hell with this girl Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 "IF she really loved you she would be with YOU.. Not her BF.." This is all you need to know about women. Don't even try to analyze it. Life's too short. Link to post Share on other sites
MissingHerBad Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 ...Hooghie thanks for posting - I think thats the best tidbit Ive ever heard on this site. Im in the same position - went over to see the ex after a year, after she kept asking. We borke up just over a year ago and she went into the rebound relationship. I was too busy with work (thus the breakup). We met the othernight and it was was absolutley beyond both of our imaginations... This guy she is going out with is the "more secure," quiet- I am the more prominent, risk taker and I am no longer what I was when we broke up - I have completely changed and not for her. She emailed me a few days later telling me that shes happy that Im back in her life and that she loves me, she also said I was always what she dreamed and even more so now. Im sure shes crazy confused right now but I dont think that that necessarily means she doesnt love me? Does it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author figgurinoutlife Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 "if she loved me she would be with me" that is very true, but what if she's in love with her boyfriend at the same time" how does she choose? Everyone's advice is great, I just don't want to blow a second chance with her if I've got one. Link to post Share on other sites
flakyapplepie Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 She's needy and greedy. She's not very secure in her current relationship to be calling you and getting your hopes up (she knows what she's doing). Don't think she's having some fantasy relationship with this guy. She's not. Don't indulge her. Simple as that. When I'm secure with a new boyfriend, I'm not talking to my ex. I'm not so greedy as to keep a guy on the backburner, playing with his emotions. This is what she's doing. I understand that you miss her so much that you can't see the situation for what it is. You would think you were stupid for passing up even a smidgeon of opportunity. This is what she recognizes, and is playing you for a foooool. Too much love is never enough for this girl, so she can get away with saying she's in love with two different people. Bull. You're never in love with two different people, you only compare what the two different people can offer you. This is one sided and is not love, especially when she is WITH someone else and is telling you these things. By the way, how respectful is that to her boyfriend, whom she loves so much? If you want to win this game, play by her rules. Get a new girlfriend, and talk about how pretty she is and how special she is. Cue freak out! Just move on. Leave it alone. Don't indulge her. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 "if she loved me she would be with me" that is very true, but what if she's in love with her boyfriend at the same time" how does she choose? Everyone's advice is great, I just don't want to blow a second chance with her if I've got one. Your missing the point.. She is just saying she loves you to keep you around.. She loves HIM .. end of story. You need to open your eyes.. She is gonna hurt you.. Link to post Share on other sites
Baz Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 As far as you are concerned her actions are the only thing you should judge her by. I think the most sensible and mature thing you can do is say to her that yes you have strong feelings for her but due to her circumstances you are not prepared to get entangled in her confusion. Tell her that you would like to explore a future with her when the time is right but first she must show a commitment and dedication to wanting the same. This can only mean that she leave her current BF. Find somewhere to live and then contact you with a view to building a great friendship. After that if a relationship follows then so be it. Anything short of these actions just isn't worth worrying about. You cant just jump back and forwards from one relationship to the next and back again. You have to clear the slate totally and start again. I'll tell you a story I heard about which is true. A guy was told by his wife that she was leaving him for someone else. He was devastated but knew that there was nothing he could do to change the way she felt, so she left. 7 months later she got back in contact saying that she had made a terrible mistake and wanted to come back. He asked her if she was being genuine and she told him yes and that she now knew how much his love meant to her. He told her that if that was true then come back in a years time and we'll talk about it. A year later to the day she came back and they started piecing a new relationship together again. As I say, actions speak louder than words. (how strong was he by the way !!) Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Emails + Text Messages = Evil Doers! Dont judge anyone or look into these EVER! Go by what that other dude said " Go by her actions ". Link to post Share on other sites
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