Nicole346 Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 Hi guys I'm new here So I have been with my fiance since 2019 and we have been engaged june then we had been talking g for a while over the past few years since we met in 2006. The years from 2009 until 2018 he has been aggressively messaging me blatantly asking me when we could f### I graciously declined until one day we just met and we started a relationship... Everything went smoothly until about a year into our r.ship after I moved in when the first female messaged me on fb messenger asking me if I knew my man was sending her dick pics and asking when he could f### her Long story short there hasn't been a month go by when a woman hasn't messaged me asking me the same thing so I started getting really insecure . I did something devious and created a catfish account where I conversed with him and he continued sending d### pics and trying to hook up with this chick Needless to say it did not make me feel.any better To get you guys all up to speed I have a young child and we moved on with him and I do love him just suddenly feel so lost Please help Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 5, 2021 Share Posted June 5, 2021 I guess you already know that he can't be trusted and is not going to stop. Why are you and your child still with him after all of this deceit and disrespect? Love is not a good excuse because you should love you and your child more. I hope you realize this soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 What is there to be lost about? You need to end the relationship ASAP. Not sure why you haven't already. Doesn't matter how much you love him, he does not love you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, Nicole346 said: I have a young child and we moved on with him . End it asap and focus on your child. Is this his child? The first place to start is getting to a doctor for STD testing. Be frank about your BF extracurricular sexual activities. What you happened upon is the tip of the iceberg. If it's not his child, just end it and run 👟👟. There's no need to live in misery like this. You claim he badgered you for years with inappropriate texts. It is unclear why you would date anyone who is like that. Edited June 6, 2021 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 14 hours ago, Nicole346 said: The years from 2009 until 2018 he has been aggressively messaging me blatantly asking me when we could f### I graciously declined until one day we just met and we started a relationship... He’s a real charmer. I suppose, when a man does this to you, you shouldn’t really be surprised that he is doing the same to other women. Thank goodness you know before the wedding, it allows you to make another decision. This shouldn’t cause confusion as much as it should bring absolute clarity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Donnas Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 Instead if making fake nicks, collect info of this girls as much as posible, and confront him .Ask him if he is missing something, why he doing this.And seek a therapist to help you guys if both wanna work it out. But even if not, therapist can help you guys separate in a peaceful and a eay that can be better for coparenting. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2021 Share Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) 22 hours ago, Nicole346 said: he has been aggressively messaging me blatantly asking me when we could f### I graciously declined until one day we just met and we started a relationship... asking me if I knew my man was sending her dick pics and asking when he could f### her I did something devious and created a catfish account where I conversed with him and he continued sending d### pics and trying to hook up with this chick He's very consistent with his sleazy messages. He sent them to you, whoever this FB woman was and even to a catfish (you). He's like horny spambot. You seem stuck because you and your child moved in with him with . Do you work? Were you homeless when you moved in? Where is your child's father? How is the co-parenting? Is your child receiving child support? Edited June 6, 2021 by Wiseman2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nicole346 Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 Well I've always been independent and always worked we were previously living on our own until he asked me to move in with him She doesn't really see her own father as he makes no time for her and she takes my fiancee as her own father I really do love him and sometimes he shows me he can change but sometimes I feel maybe he is just getting better at hiding the evidence Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 You are so emotionally invested in him, that you are not seeing things clearly. Think about if any of your friends came to you asking for advice with the same situation. You would tell them to leave and never look back, right? Its great that you are financially independent. You can just pack up and move out ASAP. A therapist might be really helpful as well. Wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Lola Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 (edited) Oh Nicole that is awful, please move ASAP. You met him like that and he won’t change. lucky you haven’t got married. It sounds like he needs profesional help, I’m actually worried about your daughter. He seems like he has psychological problems and he could do something to her too. Book an appointment with a psychologist and try to find help to move on. If it isn’t good in the beginning it won’t get better only worse. Move, do it for your child and because you deserve somebody who respect you. Edited June 7, 2021 by Lola Mistakes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 3 hours ago, Nicole346 said: Well I've always been independent and always worked we were previously living on our own until he asked me to move in with him She doesn't really see her own father as he makes no time for her and she takes my fiancee as her own father I really do love him and sometimes he shows me he can change but sometimes I feel maybe he is just getting better at hiding the evidence How is someone this sleazy and creepy a good role model. Hopefully you're not leaving him alone with her. It's your responsibility to procure court ordered child support for your child. The father doesn't have to visit, but setting up court ordered visitation is a good idea. Since you are working, start looking for a place for you and your daughter to live. In the meantime, talk to trusted friends and family. Make sure you get tested for STDs and be honest with your doctor about your findings. Often what you uncovered is just the tip of the iceberg. He's not going to change for you. He's been like this a long time,in fact that's how you met him. He's living a double life and what you see is an act. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 (edited) You have to take a look at his history. He's sexually aggressive. He's doing the same to other women. The writing is on the wall... your fiance is a serial cheater. Get out now, you can't stop this. Edited June 10, 2021 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 The good new is that #1 - you're not married and #2 - he's not the father of your child. Move out now. Hopefully, your child is young enough that he/she will quickly forget this lousy excuse for a man. You have all the evidence you need to know this is NOT someone you want to marry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 (edited) On 6/7/2021 at 2:57 AM, Nicole346 said: She doesn't really see her own father as he makes no time for her and she takes my fiancee as her own father Don't be that kind of mother. Picking a man that doesn't give a heck about your child. Your daughter will be fine. Couples seperate or divorce each day and children adapt. You've moved in with him about what? a year ago? She won't even remember his name in 6 months. Edited June 10, 2021 by Gaeta 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 (edited) On 6/5/2021 at 6:34 PM, Nicole346 said: Long story short there hasn't been a month go by when a woman hasn't messaged me asking me the same thing so I started getting really insecure . Just now? How badly do you need this relationship---because he's using the same successful lure with her that he used on you. You don't need that level of aggravation, do you? On 6/7/2021 at 2:57 AM, Nicole346 said: I really do love him and sometimes he shows me he can change but But no. That's not the issue. He says/does what he needs to say/do in order to keep you lulled into this stupor you're in. Why? Because it works for him. There is no need for him to make any solid change that sticks and doesn't require you revisiting the issue every other month. Edited June 10, 2021 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: Don't be that kind of mother. Picking a man that doesn't give a heck about your child. She's referring to the child's bio father, not this sleeze. Punctuation needed: Quote She doesn't really see her own father, as he makes no time for her; and she takes my fiancee as her own father Edited June 10, 2021 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 10 minutes ago, kendahke said: She's referring to the child's bio father, not this sleeze. Punctuation needed: AH! OP sorry for the confusion. Link to post Share on other sites
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