Wiseman2 Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 On 6/7/2021 at 10:08 AM, Floresnodolores said: It’s hard for me to think straight and having clear headed opinions really helps. Get a real wolverine for a lawyer. They'll do the 'clear thinking' for you when it comes to advocating for you in dissolving your marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 (edited) 12 hours ago, dramafreezone said: A PNA is not about love, it's a business agreement. Of course I would recommend that she consult a lawyer, except for I would not go with a family lawyer. I would recommend outside counsel, one skilled in interpreting prenuptial agreements. A family lawyer may not even have such expertise. Just like physicians, lawyers have different areas of expertise; one wouldn't go to an OB/GYN if they had a heart ailment. She would benefit most from dispassionate counsel that will be able to outline pros and cons to challenging her husband in court. Most lawyers will provide a free consultation. Family is too close to everything to give a balanced, neutral legal opinion. I'm not a layperson in these matters, though I haven't worked in the US. I recognise that the US is a society where people often do see all sorts of things in a very commercial, transactional sort of way, but I'd be astounded if it's so transactional that commercial lawyers (as opposed to family lawyers) are the specialists when it comes to prenuptial agreements. Certainly in the UK anybody seeking advice about prenuptial agreements would be directed to the Family Law Team and any commercial lawyer taking on such a case would be regarded as dabbling in a different specialty - which is not recommended. In the case of a complex prenup involving the kind of assets under discussion here, the family lawyer handling the case would, I'm sure, want to consult with colleagues from other specialties...but overall case management would remain in the family law team, and that would be the client's point of contact. Nothing I've seen about prenuptial agreements in the US suggests that the situation is different over there. A look at the websites of a few big firms indicates that it's the same in the US. That anybody seeking advice about a prenup would be directed to the family law team. Edited June 9, 2021 by Taramere Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 (edited) Double post - but to add, if the OP calls a law firm and lets them know it's about a prenuptial agreement, they'll keep her right with regard to the department she should be dealing with. Edited June 9, 2021 by Taramere Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 Lots of family law attorneys are really divorce specialists ... Divorce makes up a huge percentage of a family lawyer's case load. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 2 hours ago, Taramere said: I haven't worked in the US. I recognise that the US is a society where people often do see all sorts of things in a very commercial, transactional sort of way, If you don't practice law in the US, how do you know that the US is this way with this naive blanket remark? What does your antiamerican remark have to do with the OP's question about the dilemma of leaving a marriage when a prenuptial agreement is in place? Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 (edited) 46 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: If you don't practice law in the US, how do you know that the US is this way with this naive blanket remark? What does your antiamerican remark have to do with the OP's question about the dilemma of leaving a marriage when a prenuptial agreement is in place? My advice was that the OP should consult a specialist family lawyer. Did you read the post I was responding to, or were you too busy getting angry about my post to assess the context? The poster disagreed with my advice and described a prenuptial agreement as a "business agreement"... and that a family lawyer would not be the correct source to seek advice from. You contributed to the thread after that comment. It was open to you to say "woah, that's not correct. Marriage is not a business transaction, and a prenuptial agreement is not a business agreement...and the OP should be consulting with a specialist family lawyer about this." If you're not going to contradict a poster for perceiving this as a business matter rather than a family law one, why get angry with me for concluding that the US must be a more transactional sort of society than the one I live in (where there's no ambiguity about prenuptial agreements being a family law issue rather than a commercial law one)? If you're offended by the notion that the US is a more transactional culture when it comes to marriage, I don't understand why you wouldn't question a post that assesses this as a business matter. One that, moreoever, advises the OP against consulting with a family lawyer. Edited June 9, 2021 by Taramere Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 1 hour ago, Taramere said: My advice was that the OP should consult a specialist family lawyer. In the US, divorce lawyers who specialize in divorce are plentiful. Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 He's rich? Can I get his number from ya?! 😆 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 (edited) If/when you've made a firm decision to divorce, considering seeking an aggressive lawyer who might attempt to fight the pre-nup on a % of what is won only basis (IF you can find one who'll do that) isn't crazy IMO. Read any agreement you sign with such a person VERY carefully to ensure you understand the payment structure completely, you DON'T want to find out that e.g. you still pay 50% or "certain administrative costs" if you lose. One issue is that in the US there are 50 states with 50 different sets of laws. Sure there are plenty of commonalities, but, as they say, the devil's in the details. From what I understand (and I'm not a lawyer) there are states where pre-nups are taken quite seriously/have a lot of weight and others where they are essentially useless (except as a way for lawyers to earn money from wealthy folks on unnecessary paperwork and sometimes court motions). So, really only a local lawyer can tell you what will make sense for your situation. And that assumes they are being completely honest with you which, frankly, IS an assumption I'm afraid. If they ONLY get paid a % of what they win, that presumably makes them less willing to waste your and their time on case they know they won't likely win, so that is helpful. Edit: Also be sure it's what you win IN THE END, after all appeals, of which there may be plenty. NOT a % of what you win the first time, but then it's appealed and possibly later reduced or even turned around, but you still owe the lawyers. Lots of potential pitfalls to be careful of here, unfortunately. Edited June 9, 2021 by mark clemson 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 OP hasn't been back. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Floresnodolores Posted June 10, 2021 Author Share Posted June 10, 2021 On 6/7/2021 at 8:49 PM, MsJayne said: His inappropriate messages are most likely just him trying to assert his virility among his equally creepy associates, a sick joke among dirty-minded old sexist farts. The massages, well, some guys go for the happy ending because they feel it's not being unfaithful, just some light relief. Do you still have a sex life together? If not, I don't think the happy endings are so bad considering his wealth and what he could be doing. At least he's not likely to bring some disease home. But, if you do have a sex life, it's obviously very hurtful that he would do that. Can I ask how you found out about the massages? Also through his text messages 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) Why did you marry him with a large age gap? For the money? Do you love him anyway? or are you ready to end the marriage? Can this be fixed? The thing with his neice is inexcusably weird. I know about happy ending massage places and handjobs are a choice ($40.00) and it is possible that he does not indulge in that. Otherwise, the massage girl does not touch his penis. Can you ask him to change the pre-nup to your benefit? You will need a clever pretext to do so, such as in the event he dies you need more money Board members here often tell troubled spouses to get a divorce but I am more cautious. We don't know the whole story...it is more complex, different. Best wishes. Edited June 27, 2021 by LuckyM ------ Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 On 6/6/2021 at 12:14 PM, Floresnodolores said: I’ve been with him since I was 28 the same age my niece is now. He'll never grow past wanting women that age and probably under. I would be creeped out knowing what he is doing with those pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 (edited) Your husband sounds pretty awful. I would see a lawyer about what you could get in the way of a settlement. I doubt that a prenup would mean he could avoid any sort of child or spousal support. I also think you should spend some time gathering evidence of his behaviour and attitudes. They will not go down well in a court that has to decide what compensation you and your child should get. I can imagine you are really hurting and I am sorry you are facing such a difficult situation. Edited July 8, 2021 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
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