idk how to handle this

[thatguy316]

So i know some people are going to judge me for this but it has really been bothering me.

Me and my ex wife got a divorce in 2018.  She told me right after she kicked me out that she had been talking to a co worker. Well after the divorce was final she told me she had sex with him which really wasn't that big of a deal as I had been with other women too. 

We have two kids and we never really stopped messaging besides for a couple weeks at a time. 

We ended up getting back together and she told me that this coworker was just a fling there was nothing there. Well we ended up splitting up again and she went right back to hanging out with him saying they was just friends.  Anyways that went on for two months or so and then we got back together again. It was same thing he was just a friend nothing more. We lasted awhile again the split again..she went right back to him .. we stayed apart not moving back in together but was have sex about every other week. 

She told me she didn't want a relationship she was finding her self later.  Eventually i seen i was just hurting my self more by hanging on to something that wasn't going to go anywhere so i moved to another state. I started to move on i was really happy just finding my self for the first time in years...well she messaged one day and said she was just going to bring the kids to me.  My mom had been.  Anyways we get to talking she sees how happy I am and says she misses me. I end up getting back with her then find out the whole summer she had been sleeping with me before i left that she had been hanging out with that same co worker and had a few other guys over at her house.

So i finally just asked her straight up how many men she had slept with since our divorce she said it was only that co worker one time and went on to tell me he was extremely small and bad in bed that's why she never done it again even though she hung out with him a lot.

We are still together to this day but I'm having a really hard time believing she didn't sleep with him again or anyone else and its driving me crazy .. so a friend of mine showed me a software that will recover deleted messages on a phone. I finally broke down the other night and told her I was having trouble believing it and id like her to show me the proof that she didn't lie. She has lied about stuff in the past is why.   Well she freaked completely out when I asked her to let me see her phone and has start sleeping with it in her hand under her pillow and making sure its never laying around which has made me really think she has lied to me. 

Yet she still swears she didn't lie about anything she even puts it on our kids lives. I guess im asking what you all think.  know you all probably think I'm crazy as hell and should of just never got back with her but I love this women more than anything so is it really that bad to ask her for proof she didn't lie?

Edited June 8, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs, punctuation

[dramafreezone]

18 minutes ago, thatguy316 said:

me and my ex wife got a divorce in 2018 she told me right after she kicked me out that she had been talking to a co worker

Kind of off topic, but how did she kick you out of your own house?  Is the house under her name?  I never understand how guys get kicked out of a house that they pay for.

25 minutes ago, thatguy316 said:

h her but  i lovs this women more than anything so is it really thst bad to ask her for proof she didnt lie

This isn't love, it's co-dependence.  This whole thing is toxic.  Why do you want to get back with someone that you'll have to check on all the time?  Trust is destroyed, both of you need to move on and mature.

[thatguy316]

i said kicked out we had two little girls so when she said she wanted a divorce. i left i didnt want my kids  lifes up rooted.. i know its toxic as hell always has been i guess im just really in my head over the whole damn thing i only got back with her this last time because she said she had changed and i believed her we really hadnt been having any issues at all until a old friend let ran into me and told me he felt like she played me then went on to tell me he knew she had other men around..now i cant stop thinking about the s*** and wondering if she did lie idk

[Ami1uwant]

40 minutes ago, thatguy316 said:

i said kicked out we had two little girls so when she said she wanted a divorce. i left i didnt want my kids  lifes up rooted.. i know its toxic as hell always has been i guess im just really in my head over the whole damn thing i only got back with her this last time because she said she had changed and i believed her we really hadnt been having any issues at all until a old friend let ran into me and told me he felt like she played me then went on to tell me he knew she had other men around..now i cant stop thinking about the s*** and wondering if she did lie idk

Why did she want the divorce?

 

why are you evrn getting back with her?

[Daisydooks]

2 hours ago, thatguy316 said:

So i know some people are going to judge me for this but it has really been bothering me.

Me and my ex wife got a divorce in 2018.  She told me right after she kicked me out that she had been talking to a co worker. Well after the divorce was final she told me she had sex with him which really wasn't that big of a deal as I had been with other women too. 

We have two kids and we never really stopped messaging besides for a couple weeks at a time. 

We ended up getting back together and she told me that this coworker was just a fling there was nothing there. Well we ended up splitting up again and she went right back to hanging out with him saying they was just friends.  Anyways that went on for two months or so and then we got back together again. It was same thing he was just a friend nothing more. We lasted awhile again the split again..she went right back to him .. we stayed apart not moving back in together but was have sex about every other week. 

She told me she didn't want a relationship she was finding her self later.  Eventually i seen i was just hurting my self more by hanging on to something that wasn't going to go anywhere so i moved to another state. I started to move on i was really happy just finding my self for the first time in years...well she messaged one day and said she was just going to bring the kids to me.  My mom had been.  Anyways we get to talking she sees how happy I am and says she misses me. I end up getting back with her then find out the whole summer she had been sleeping with me before i left that she had been hanging out with that same co worker and had a few other guys over at her house.

So i finally just asked her straight up how many men she had slept with since our divorce she said it was only that co worker one time and went on to tell me he was extremely small and bad in bed that's why she never done it again even though she hung out with him a lot.

We are still together to this day but I'm having a really hard time believing she didn't sleep with him again or anyone else and its driving me crazy .. so a friend of mine showed me a software that will recover deleted messages on a phone. I finally broke down the other night and told her I was having trouble believing it and id like her to show me the proof that she didn't lie. She has lied about stuff in the past is why.   Well she freaked completely out when I asked her to let me see her phone and has start sleeping with it in her hand under her pillow and making sure its never laying around which has made me really think she has lied to me. 

Yet she still swears she didn't lie about anything she even puts it on our kids lives. I guess im asking what you all think.  know you all probably think I'm crazy as hell and should of just never got back with her but I love this women more than anything so is it really that bad to ask her for proof she didn't lie?

She has proven she is a lying liar who lies a handful of times. What more do you need? The trust is gone if you need proof.  

 

This has been over for years. Its time to accept it 

[ShyViolet]

Using spy software to check her phone is not going to fix this relationship.  If you feel like you need to do that, the relationship is over.  You have broken up and gotten back together with her more times than I can count.  That alone should tell you that this relationship is toxic and is never going to work.  This relationship is too broken to fix.  Open your eyes and realize that.