yeast Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 Heyyy, so I really need some advice about my friends right now. So Im friends with this online dude for a long time now. I really do see him as my closest friend since he was one of the two people I've ever told my deepest secret to. The problem is, I unfriended him at the beginning of May because Finals where coming up and my brother threatened to go through my social medias and he’s really strict so I’ve always been scared and out of the moment I decided to cut ties with my best online friend who I trust more than my irl friends. I promised him that I will come back after finals are over… and its finally over. When I made that promise I knew damn well I'm not coming back because Im really scared now since I told him everything Ive been through. I don't know how to ever talk to him after leaving him like that. I had a pretty bad breakdown when I left him. I felt really bad about myself and Ive noticed that Ive gotten more toxic towards others. Im fine with not adding him back but these days I always just suddenly and randomly have the urge to add him back because I really miss him. There will be trouble when I do add him back, he probably will tell his friends about it and I don't really have a good relationship with some of them. Im not scared to add him back because of others, Im just filled with fear on how to approach and talk to him again because after all we did leave on a sensitive note where we ranted out everything. What do you guys think about this? Im just really afraid of the fact about my family finding out I have online friends and my relationship with him again (I know we are going to catch up and have a great time again but I don’t know how the rants we’ve made before I left will affect us after). Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 Have you met in person? Why is your brother controlling your social media? How old are you two? Contact your friend when finals are over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yeast Posted June 9, 2021 Author Share Posted June 9, 2021 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Have you met in person? Why is your brother controlling your social media? How old are you two? Contact your friend when finals are over. My brother is controlling my social median because I come from a pretty strict family so I spend most of the day online with friends and my mom doesn’t like the fact about online people so she and my brother are kind if siding together (my brothers like 17 years older than me). Me and the friend I want to add back is both 14 and theres just moments where I really have the urge to talk to him but then theres moments where I get reminded of the times where I sometimes don’t want to reply to any of his messages because hes a really bright person and he always mentions his friends a lot and it kind of bothers me because I really have no interest in their achievements so it makes me want to like stop talking and take a break from him. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 You are only 14 years old? Be careful this person may not be who he says he is. If you haven't met him in real life you don't know him. Listen to your family. This amount of tears and grief over a random guy on the internet is not ok and worrying. You are easy prey for people to take advantage of especially with little support from your real life friends and family. Why do you not trust your friends? Focus on school for now, as hard as that seems. This person doesn't sound like a good influence over you at all if you're this upset before your brother even found out. Use your head with this and do well on those exams. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 24, 2021 Share Posted June 24, 2021 (edited) I would say pretty much the same as glows. If you have not met this boy in real life and do not know any of his friends in person (in real life), then unless you have video chatted with him directly, you do not know he is who he says he is. He could be a guy of 40 or something who is good at talking with young girls. If we assume for the moment that he is genuine, then what is it about him that worries you? It sounds like you two had some sort of argument? If so, it did not end on a good note so getting back in touch with him might not be a good idea. If you are worried because you told him secrets and you think if you got in touch with him he would tall others your secrets, then what makes you think he would? You are saying you trust him but then again you are also saying that because how things were left you do not trust him. There are predatory guys online who get to know young girls. They know how to manipulate people and especially how to convince girls that they are their best friend. You have probably heard about 'grooming'. You need to be absolutely sure that this 'friend' is not an older predator masquerading as someone of your age. Whatever you do, do not arrange to meet him to find out! Your family have concerns about your safety. They may be wrong about this person or you may be being groomed. If your instinct is telling you that he is likely to react badly, then trust your instinct and steer clear of him. Whatever you decide to do, do not meet him in real life and do not let him pressure you into anything. If you feel for one minute that he is trying to get you to reveal embarrassing secrets to him, then cut him off completely. I suppose what bothers me is that you felt bad about leaving him and also feel bad about the idea of getting in touch with him again. If you were dealing with a reasonable person, I don't think you would have these fears because they would understand. Just out of interest, how did you get to know this guy? Was it through a social media app and did he contact you first or vice versa? How did he introduce himself? Edited June 24, 2021 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 24, 2021 Share Posted June 24, 2021 On 6/9/2021 at 1:08 AM, yeast said: Because hes a really bright person and he always mentions his friends a lot and it kind of bothers me because I really have no interest in their achievements so it makes me want to like stop talking and take a break from him. Why would it bother you that he talks about his friends and their achievements rather than you be inspired by them? I agree that since your family doesn't approve of their 14 year old having internet friends that they don't know it's best to leave him be. If you start back talking to him your brother will find out and you'll get in trouble. It's probably best, at your age, to have a female best friend, your age to tell your secrets to in person. Link to post Share on other sites
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