TaPele Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 As the title says, I'm in love with the girl who works in the shop next to where I work. I work at a kiosk with my parents and one of my uncles. After having had a couple of small talks (I would ask her how she was doing in her shop) yesterday I managed to dig deeper for some more personal stuff: She gave me her ID for paying with debit card and when she started entering her ID number I realised it began with the same number. So it kicked off a little very pleasant and comforting talk when she found out we had been born in the same year and only 9 days apart! That surprised her and eagerly pointed out that we both are gemini. Finally she told me "cheers!" for my birthday and I told her so. An important detail: she broke up with her ex a couple of weeks ago What would you do from this point to try to build a romantic relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 Ok. Start by just asking her to go for coffee. Try not to get ahead of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 You are not in love with her. You don't even know her. Next time you see her ask her if she wants to grab a drink together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaPele Posted June 9, 2021 Author Share Posted June 9, 2021 5 hours ago, Punterxx said: You are not in love with her. You don't even know her. Next time you see her ask her if she wants to grab a drink together. Don't you think it's a bit early? Isn't it kinda out of the blue? Am I not supposed to create a stronger relationship before? Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted June 9, 2021 Share Posted June 9, 2021 3 minutes ago, TaPele said: Don't you think it's a bit early? Isn't it kinda out of the blue? Am I not supposed to create a stronger relationship before? Absolutely correct. We date to get a person around us so they might develop a crush/fall in love. But you work next to her so all you have to do is make a fun friend - time is on your side. Let her get to know you, show her you are the coolest, funniest guy on the planet, and if the attraction is there, she'll ask you out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 When you're in her shop talking to her just say , "Hey, we should hang out sometime." If she's attracted to you she'll respond positively, if she's not she'll lack enthusiasm and probably politely fob you off. If she does respond positively, suggest a time and plan to hang out next weekend, or some other time in the near future, invite her to a movie or to the pub for a drink, don't lose the moment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted June 10, 2021 Share Posted June 10, 2021 On 6/9/2021 at 6:48 AM, TaPele said: Don't you think it's a bit early? Isn't it kinda out of the blue? Am I not supposed to create a stronger relationship before? It's not too soon. People know within 5 seconds of looking at you whether or not they see you as a possible sexual prospect. On 6/9/2021 at 6:56 AM, Fletch Lives said: But you work next to her so all you have to do is make a fun friend - time is on your side. I don't agree with this. The better strategy is to make your intentions known as soon as possible. before you get pegged as either a guy that can't go for what he wants or a guy that's not really interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Just let things emerge. At some point, it'll be obvious that you need to say--or she'll say--"Hey, you want to meet for coffee some time?" ... Or "you want to do X" at some time. Keep going. So far, I'm not convinced she's in love with you. There are lots of bubbly happy gregarious people in the world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaPele Posted June 11, 2021 Author Share Posted June 11, 2021 17 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: So far, I'm not convinced she's in love with you. Me neither. The only "sign" that could be interpreted as such is that usually (not always) when we talk we both look deep into each other's eyes. Anyway, so do you think that first I have to look for signs if she's interested in me or not? If people moved forward only having checked their crush is interested in them there wouldn't be rejections as people would only take a step forward when there are 100% chances of success. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 On 6/9/2021 at 9:48 AM, TaPele said: Don't you think it's a bit early? Isn't it kinda out of the blue? Am I not supposed to create a stronger relationship before? Getting coffee is where & how you get to know someone. There is no before. You establish the connection ON the date. When you try to establish a connection before the date you end up being friend-zoned. 16 hours ago, TaPele said: Me neither. The only "sign" that could be interpreted as such is that usually (not always) when we talk we both look deep into each other's eyes. Anyway, so do you think that first I have to look for signs if she's interested in me or not? If people moved forward only having checked their crush is interested in them there wouldn't be rejections as people would only take a step forward when there are 100% chances of success. No. See my answer above. There is no such thing as 100% chance of success. Life includes risks. If you sense you have a 51% chance of a success you take the chance. Here, she already knows you. She knows where you work. She even knows some of your family. That is more than you get from meeting somebody in a bar or on line so go for it. Ask her to do something with you. Maybe don't call it a date but ask. If she says no, that will suck but then you know. It's better than pining & wondering & being stuck in limbo. Link to post Share on other sites
TrueGuy Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 Ask her for a coffee like this: "They say that all geminis like Starbucks coffee. Let's see if it's true, let's meet at Starbucks and I'll get both of us a coffee." That's it. No more. Go for a 35 to 40 minute coffee date with her and if you two vibe, at the end ask her for her phone number and end the date. Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 Meh, you don't have to have a clever line. Next time you're chatting just say "hey, you wanna grab a coffee later on?" I think just asking her out as if it's no big deal helps to alleviate any anxiety SHE might have about going out with you. Consider that if she does like you, she may be nervous too so take the pressure off. Say it as if you could take it or leave it, because that's should be the case. If she says yes, cool, see if you vibe over the coffee. If not, at least you know and you can move on to the next. The clock is ticking though. If she has sent you signals that she likes you, the longer you don't act on it, the more she'll take it as a rejection of her. Link to post Share on other sites
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