Should I tell his wife about this?

[Negotaurus]

Hi and thanks for being here, 

English is not my first language, I am also terrible at expressing myself properly, so please bear with me. 

Around two months ago I joined a group chat on Kik (Kik is an anonymous chatting app), I don't have many friends in real life by choice and chatting online is just easier for me. No expectations, I can leave when I want, nothing personal, all that. I get along with everybody really well on the group chat, great people, but there is this one man, will call him J. 

J is in his early 30s, I am in my early 20s. He is American but his wife is from the same country as me (the group chat is specifically for Europeans but he apparently travels here a lot). His wife and him have been married for two years I believe, got married after only three months of knowing one another. He flew her out to America two weeks after meeting her. I think this is relevant because to me it sounds like a sh*t-show, sorry to be blunt. Reckless and thoughtless. His wife has a daughter from a previous relationship and they also have a small baby together. J gave me a sob story about how he has cheated on his wife ALREADY, apparently it all happened online. He also dove into his past, and I felt for him. I knew his reasoning for telling me all this was rotten if anything, but he has had it rough. I would never take that away from anybody. Then again, that's no excuse for acting like a jerk. 

I was very suspicious about him when I first met him in the group chat. Didn't really like him, so I was just staying neutral and mainly chatted with others. Over time we both started engaging each other more, our sense of humour is the same, so we had a lot of laughs and it was fun, honestly. That lasted for a while. Until he private messaged me outside of the group chat and we began talking there. That's when he told me about the cheating, his past. We also talked about other personal things, joked around, and I liked talking to him a lot! But after some time he started getting a bit inappropriate, for a while I thought it was innocent, and it still could be, perhaps I am just overreacting. I think I am an attractive 22 year old, perhaps it flatters his ego. 

So far he has:
Sent me shirtless pictures
Sent me videos where he is half naked in the background
Forwarded me nudes he has received from other women
Keeps talking about his "manhood" and how "giant" it is
Forwards me text conversations between his ex and him where they flirt
He flirts with me a lot
He has three phones from what I know and goes 100% dark whenever he is at home with his wife

I think deep down he's very insecure. From what I know he chats with a lot of women, constantly brags about money, tries to give others the impression he's a great husband. He talks a lot. And in my opinion, it's all talk. 

Edited June 9, 2021 by Negotaurus

[Sun Seeker]

No, why would you get involved in his life by telling anything to his wife?

He's clearly not a good person so just stop talking to him and block him.

And start making friends in real life not in random chat groups.

[Negotaurus]

2 minutes ago, Punterxx said:

No, why would you get involved in his life by telling anything to his wife?

He's clearly not a good person so just stop talking to him and block him.

And start making friends in real life not in random chat groups.

I am aware it is none of my business but then again I feel guilty knowing she is getting stabbed in the back and completely clueless about it. 

We are in the same group, can't exactly block him. And I said no friends in real life is a preference. You don't have to agree with that, that is fine. 

[Negotaurus]

Wouldn't let me edit. 

He also talks about wanting to meet me etc. I have toned it down massively, but that doesn't stop him from trying or being a creep. I think it's so wrong. 

[Sun Seeker]

4 minutes ago, Negotaurus said:

I am aware it is none of my business but then again I feel guilty knowing she is getting stabbed in the back and completely clueless about it. 

We are in the same group, can't exactly block him. And I said no friends in real life is a preference. You don't have to agree with that, that is fine. 

Why are you feeling guilty about someone that you have never met and know nothing about? Their relationship is nothing to do with you.

Whatever actions he is doing outside of that relationship is on him. You cant control his actions.

What you can control are your own actions. If you don't like what he is doing then stop talking to him and block him. Who cares if you are in the same group chat, leave the group then. It's not the end of the world. Life will go on.

Sounds like your preference for no friends in real life (which is weird and kinda sad) is making you feel you need to be more important in your virtual life than you actually are. It's not healthy.

I would suggest seeking professional help for whatever issues you have that is stopping you from having real friends not just virtual ones.

[Negotaurus]

3 minutes ago, Punterxx said:

Why are you feeling guilty about someone that you have never met and know nothing about? Their relationship is nothing to do with you.

Whatever actions he is doing outside of that relationship is on him. You cant control his actions.

What you can control are your own actions. If you don't like what he is doing then stop talking to him and block him. Who cares if you are in the same group chat, leave the group then. It's not the end of the world. Life will go on.

Sounds like your preference for no friends in real life (which is weird and kinda sad) is making you feel you need to be more important in your virtual life than you actually are. It's not healthy.

I would suggest seeking professional help for whatever issues you have that is stopping you from having real friends not just virtual ones.

I feel guilty because my ex did the same to me and I know what it feels like. 

I also am schizophrenic. People being a trigger, maintaining a full-time job and living a normal life is already difficult enough. Don't call me "sad" or "weird" when you are completely clueless about what is going on. I simply came here for advice because I feel bad, what on earth do you get out of judging me? Do amuse me. 

[Wiseman2]

Just delete and block him. He seems like a creep.

[spiderowl]

He seems an incredibly dodgy character.  It is best you block him and get rid of the creep.  He is betraying his wife and breaking the confidence of anyone who has sent him pictures or texts (worth bearing this in mind if you have sent him anything - it will be passed on to the next woman he drags into his fantasies).

As for telling his wife - do you actually know her?  If she was a friend or something, then maybe it would be the kindest thing to do, but if you do not know her there is no need to get involved with their marital messes.  You don't know what she is like and the pair of them could turn out to be dangerous enemies.

By the way, your English is excellent and you express yourself very well.  I don't know why you would think otherwise.

[stillafool]

On 6/9/2021 at 4:41 AM, Negotaurus said:

Wouldn't let me edit. 

He also talks about wanting to meet me etc. I have toned it down massively, but that doesn't stop him from trying or being a creep. I think it's so wrong. 

You are basically having an emotional affair with a married man wth a family.  Do you realize that?  This is highly inappropriate and no do not try to talk to his wife about their business because it won't turn out good for you.  I must say being in your early 20s and never wanting to see real friends in real life is going to make you a very lonely person as the years past you by.