is this really love or am i just a puppet on strings?

[hurtandrejected]

i talk about this all the time but i felt i should share my story and my view on the situation. so here it is, i was with my ex b/f for 2 1/2 years and he beat me and threatened to kill me all the time. i thaught i might have had something good so i stayed by his side. everytime he hit me or made me cry he would say "im so sorry baby, ill never do it again, i promise." and since i believed he loved me, i continued to stay with him. he tryed killing me so many times that it came down to where i didnt even care anymore. he was so controling. i never even left the house anymore. i lost 15 lbs in a 2 weeks because i was so depressed all the time and i knew he would hit me everyday when he came home for no apparent reason. and thats not even close to the end of it! but personally, i think if you are in a abusive relationship that the person hitting you must not love you that much because nobody should ever raise their hand/fists to anyone that they truely love. i believe they may keep you around for amusement and to drag you along. all a person like that does is fill the other person with false hope. like in my situation, he would hit me and then say nice, sweet things to me just to keep me around for the next time he needed someone to beat up on. not everyone is in that same boat but like i said before, nobody should ever raise their hands/fists to someone they truely love. and if you are in a relationship like the one i was in then my suggestion is to get away from it because all it does is bring you down. and everyone deseves to live a happy life. believe me, leaveing that all behind was hard because of how long i had been with him but in the end, it was definatly the best decision i have ever made because i now lead a happy life. but thats just my opinion on this topic. some may feel a different way about it. who knows? but thats what i think about it on a personal level. so keep your heads up, if you can make it threw the dark i promise theres a brighter day. you just have to reach out for it.