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dont want to start an affair but I think Im falling


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GeorgiaPeach1
On 6/10/2021 at 3:09 PM, Savannah1990 said:

It wasnt my intention

Be honest with yourself that you knew what you were doing.

On 6/10/2021 at 3:09 PM, Savannah1990 said:

he's being unhappy in his relationship

They ALL say this. They know it brings them sympathy, and they know what women want to hear.

On 6/10/2021 at 3:09 PM, Savannah1990 said:

they did discuss breaking up and she enlisted in a site where you can follow available real-estate. 

 

Where you there when they had this discussion, and did you hear it from the horses mouth about the real estate? Or are you going off of hearsay?

On 6/10/2021 at 3:09 PM, Savannah1990 said:

He held my hand in public, kissed me in public which was a bit strange for me but it also gave me butterflies.

Sounds like he was carefree with you. You know why? Because SHE is the one taking care of him when he gets sick, cleaning up after him, paying bills with him, doing the hard work of raising a child with him, etc. She's the one who deals with his farts and bad moods. With you, he gets to just focus on the fun. Believe me, he had this same honeymoon period with her in the beginning, too.

On 6/10/2021 at 3:09 PM, Savannah1990 said:

He said 'I'm also confused

Lol, another common things cheaters and players say. I get the feeling he's cheated before.

On 6/10/2021 at 3:09 PM, Savannah1990 said:

But to be honest

Why didn't he have such honesty before sex? He got what he wanted, now he's trying to lower your expectations of him actually putting real time and effort into you.

On 6/10/2021 at 3:09 PM, Savannah1990 said:

And if you want us to taken some distance for a while bc of my situation, then I fully understand.

He was probably hoping to string you along for a while longer, but you "ruined" things by asking questions. I'm very glad you did, so you can start to see what a nasty situation you've gotten yourself into. I hope you will find your way out soon.

Edited by GeorgiaPeach1
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Lotsgoingon

OP, you had courage to come here. Bravo to you.

Sometimes if we don't have the strength to do the right thing (for ourselves or for others) we do need to get strength from others. I think you got lots of strength here. Credit yourself for initiating that. 

And keep reaching out here and with IRL friends when something doesn't quite feel right. It's amazing how often our bodies tell us we're heading for danger and we ignore that warning by concocting some elaborate story-fantasy in our heads.

Kudos to you!

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Roughly translated, it was great being with you, I loved it, a bit of fun.  I'm still in a relationship and that's not likely to change for the foreseeable future.  If you are having doubts, perhaps we should just have coffee for the moment?  Last thing I need is someone getting overly involved with me and rocking the boat.

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The classic tactic of MM is to day how unhappy they are at home.  It happened to me.  The relationship was starkly different than dating a single guy.

First, they don't share much of substance about themselves.  Only a bit in beginning.  After they got you, it's all superficial.

Second, most of the time he spent just doing things to manipulate me.  Being the victim was common.  Like things are bad at home, without going into much detail about it.    Very vague majority of the time. For all I know it could have been made up and he's just bored at home.

He always got me with sending cute emojis and of course my heart fluttered!  That's all the investment he made.  He kept me on a string with these low investment texts, seeing me every so often and getting me jealous by mentioning "female" friends out of the blue.

It's just all a game to them. No genuine feelings on his part.  It took a long time but I finally figured out I was being played.  They are VERY good actors, being super nice, complimentary, helpful, and all around looking "perfect".  My naivety took me down a dangerous path.

Now I am more cautious and judicious.  I stay FAR away from Mr. attached.   I won't even entertain a friendship with them.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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