whatitis Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 I've known him since childhood. Years passed and we are in our 50s. I am divorced, he is not. In fact, he says his marriage is so far gone that they don't ask each other questions and they are free to do whatever they want. Then WHY does he want to keep it a secret? He says it is because she will kick him out and he wanted to wait until he sells his business to move here (several states away). This makes NO sense to me. It is either one way or another. They can each do what they want, or they can't--- not this hybrid of he can but she can't know or he'll be kicked out. I am NOT on board with this. Add to the mix: He wanted to move directly from her house into mine. NO. He will have no means of support once he moves since he would have sold his not very valuable business. NO. His financials from his own marriage have not at all been addressed since they have not even separated or agreed to anything. NO. He is most definitely trying to rush things. I said we will not be continuing this relationship. I feel very strongly about this. Thoughts? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 RUN - and Run fast. When words make no sense they are usually hiding lies. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 (edited) 25 minutes ago, whatitis said: I said we will not be continuing this relationship. I feel very strongly about this. Good decision. The last thing that you need in your life is a financially dependent married man (to another woman) living in your home. Edited June 13, 2021 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 14, 2021 Share Posted June 14, 2021 19 hours ago, whatitis said: In fact, he says his marriage is so far gone that they don't ask each other questions and they are free to do whatever they want. Then WHY does he want to keep it a secret Because everything in the first sentence here is a lie. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatitis Posted June 14, 2021 Author Share Posted June 14, 2021 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Because everything in the first sentence here is a lie. Exactly. Nope, I won't be a part of that dynamic. I have no regrets over ending it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2021 Share Posted June 14, 2021 21 hours ago, whatitis said: I said we will not be continuing this relationship. I feel very strongly about this. Thoughts? That is the only sane thing. He's lying to you about being free to do what he wants. He is not selling the business because he doesn't want to give her half. If you stayed you'd be the OW. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NYAG Posted June 18, 2021 Share Posted June 18, 2021 On 6/14/2021 at 8:28 PM, d0nnivain said: That is the only sane thing. He's lying to you about being free to do what he wants. He is not selling the business because he doesn't want to give her half. If you stayed you'd be the OW. Exactly. If you're the secret, there's a lie being told somewhere and you can bet your bottom dollar it's because in his mind he is free to do what he wants but it's not a conversation he's had with the wife. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 On 6/13/2021 at 4:19 PM, whatitis said: I said we will not be continuing this relationship. I feel very strongly about this. Thoughts? My thoughts are that it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. However it sounds like you have been involved in some sort of relationship with this married man otherwise why would he even be thinking along the lines of selling his business and moving to be with you? You are standing on a slippery slope, if you continue to communicate with him, even just as friends, he will continue to push your boundaries and soon you will be sliding down that slope faster than you ever imagined. Best to completely cut him out of your life. Let him know he can get in touch once he's divorced and has his life in order, then end all communication. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatitis Posted June 19, 2021 Author Share Posted June 19, 2021 I have not and will not be communicating with him. No way, no how. The slope will not be slippery for me, because I'm done. I don't even want to hear from him if and when he actually IS divorced. He has proven himself a liar. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 On 6/13/2021 at 6:19 PM, whatitis said: I said we will not be continuing this relationship. Good call. He's giving you the "we're like roommates" line. Link to post Share on other sites
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