BaileyB Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 You have a long way to go until you are ready to let go of all these questions… there are no answers for some of these questions, others that have been answered in this discussion - and yet, you continue to ask different versions of the same questions. Why not focus on the future? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 19, 2021 Author Share Posted June 19, 2021 1 minute ago, BaileyB said: You have a long way to go until you are ready to let go of all these questions… there are no answers for some of these questions, others that have been answered in this discussion - and yet, you continue to ask different versions of the same questions. Why not focus on the future? because both him and I are responsible for what happened. yes it was wrong, immoral whatever you call it - but his illusion affected my life - I will never believe he was delusional and not knowing what exactly he is doing, it hurt me and it had a consequence. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 3 minutes ago, BiancaSW said: I will never believe he was delusional and not knowing what exactly he is doing, Who is saying that he didn't know what he was doing? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 14 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Who is saying that he didn't know what he was doing? Is that not exactly what you struggle to accept OP - that he knew exactly what he was doing. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 39 minutes ago, BiancaSW said: I felt truly sick - I have a year-worth of pictures HE sent me with HIS anatomical details from all possible and impossible angles and he was begging for the whole year for us to make home videos and for me to send him my videos (never done that). I see. Many MM make their OW participate in movies for them to masturbate to later I guess. There is another thread of a OW going right now who's MM filmed their sex. It makes me wonder if these men have a library of such videos of their escapades. There are few OW who end up with the MM and those that do see authentic progress shortly after starting the affair. The MM makes D-day happen fairly quick so they can be with the OW. The fact that he's sending D shots is disgusting but I'm not surprised. Make sure you don't delete them as you may need them for evidence, who knows. Thank God you didn't send him a video. You asked why was he obsessed with you or was he obsessed with getting what he wanted (which could have been wilder sex acts, videos, ego stroking, counseling, new toy, etc.,) who knows how long or what he would have said to get what he wants. Considering his past with OW he may be a pro at this. I know this is painful but you are going to have to start redirecting your thoughts and trying to reach a stage of acceptance so you can begin healing. Right now you are probably wishing he would call and tell you what you want to hear. If he did it would only give you a moments rush and then things would resume as they are now. He isn't going to leave her. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 6 hours ago, BiancaSW said: not at the moment, no. he knew I would be completely on my own in this situation. But he didn't know you were pregnant so what situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 Funny how this man has this mean, worthless wife who contributes nothing that he has no time for himself..... yet he was available for this affair driving 20 miles one way....... Open your eyes 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Starswillshine said: Funny how this man has this mean, worthless wife who contributes nothing that he has no time for himself..... yet he was available for this affair driving 20 miles one way....... Open your eyes And the same man who was so sensitive and emotional was also sending daily d-pics and asking to make pornographic videos. Very typical affair behavior. Edited June 19, 2021 by BaileyB 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted June 19, 2021 Share Posted June 19, 2021 9 minutes ago, BaileyB said: And the same man who was so sensitive and emotional was also sending daily d-pics and asking to make pornographic videos. Very typical affair behavior. The more I hear, the more creeped out by this guy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 no apparently it was “me” a “cheating w****” who sent them 😔 he knows well enough I have them all stored on my phone - what’s the point in bringing stuff like that up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 2 hours ago, stillafool said: But he didn't know you were pregnant so what situation? I told him I’m 2 months when he called, he kept screaming I don’t believe you, I don’t believe you... I had to hand up on him. we hadn’t spoken since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Starswillshine said: Funny how this man has this mean, worthless wife who contributes nothing that he has no time for himself..... yet he was available for this affair driving 20 miles one way....... Open your eyes when they were in school / nursery, would arrange it so he comes before and after his work shifts.. Edited June 20, 2021 by BiancaSW Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, BiancaSW said: no apparently it was “me” a “cheating w****” who sent them 😔 he knows well enough I have them all stored on my phone - what’s the point in bringing stuff like that up. this is one of many things his wife sent to my relative: “the w****, sent explicit images and videos to my husband and had sex with him... - breaching not only her professional code of ethics but also breaking COVID laws... All of which would prove damaging to her future career prospects should I ever choose to report it.” - which is all complete bull**** obviously. I didn’t breach any codes of anything. He knows that, she knows that, criminal lawyer knows that - yet all that ridiculous crap my relative had to read and digest. It made my relative sick to their stomach. Edited June 20, 2021 by BiancaSW Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 here my relative kindly asked her to stop the online harassment (was her who did it) -> “....have no idea of the harassment you mentioned, again probably a lie for attention but nothing less than she deserves regardless...Predicament? The pregnancy claim? Again - lies....We are moving on with our lives and I suggest you and your w**** do the same. ..” (She should have said we are moving on so much with our lives but I’m doing all this ridiculous stuff like making my kids to call you and pretending to be you while using your personal data 😔) Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 2 hours ago, BiancaSW said: no apparently it was “me” a “cheating w****” who sent them 😔 he knows well enough I have them all stored on my phone - what’s the point in bringing stuff like that up. Why didn't you forward the D pics to his wife? She knows what it looks like and shown her proof of what he was doing? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 2 hours ago, Starswillshine said: The more I hear, the more creeped out by this guy. I agree. This guy sounds kinda sick talking to OP as if she's a child and then sending d pics. Wonder what type of videos he wanted OP to send. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why didn't you forward the D pics to his wife? She knows what it looks like and shown her proof of what he was doing? it’s a criminal offence to share nude pictures of an individual without their consent. can’t be carful enough with the law + this is the lowest of the low to share intimate photos/videos and what not with third parties, that’s sumthin that should only be exchanged between two consenting adults. with all his d-pics I have on my phone she could make an advent calendar - there are so many Edited June 20, 2021 by BiancaSW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 1 hour ago, BiancaSW said: this is one of many things his wife sent to my relative: “the w****, sent explicit images and videos to my husband and had sex with him... - breaching not only her professional code of ethics but also breaking COVID laws.. But you didn't send those images, did you? Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why didn't you forward the D pics to his wife? She knows what it looks like and shown her proof of what he was doing? I know you're directing this q to OP but I hope you don't mind my two cents. I don't think it would've helped because imo this BS has a screw loose and easily becomes unhinged. If anything, it might have been like pouring lighter fluid on a fire, especially since it seems this BS is quick to think her WW is an innocent victim no matter what. It probably sooths BS to believe that he did not intentionally deceive BS but instead was lead astray by OP. It's the same kind of mental mind *u*kery that OW's put themselves through when they have a difficult time believing how deceitful the MM is. I think OW and BS experience some similarities in processing the deception (even though OW are in on it bc OW also deceive themselves). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 8 minutes ago, stillafool said: But you didn't send those images, did you? I said above. there were a couple of lingerie images tho - something like some ppl would put on Instagram. but they were wiped out of his phone and iCloud - I am a witness to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, stillafool said: I agree. This guy sounds kinda sick talking to OP as if she's a child and then sending d pics. Wonder what type of videos he wanted OP to send. trust me you don’t want to know what videos were wanted...I bet you can easily guess tho Edited June 20, 2021 by BiancaSW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 1 minute ago, BiancaSW said: I said above. there were a couple of lingerie images tho - something like some ppl would put on Instagram. but they were wiped out of his phone and iCloud - I am a witness to that. So what pictures and videos is she talking about? And, why did you get your cousin involved instead of talking to her yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiancaSW Posted June 20, 2021 Author Share Posted June 20, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, stillafool said: So what pictures and videos is she talking about? And, why did you get your cousin involved instead of talking to her yourself? I don’t know what she was talking about 🤷♀️ definitely not about his ones by the looks of things...he prolly came up with some bull**** of how I was luring him in and ruined his innocence...**** knows 😔 ah, didnt involve her - she knew about him all along, she knew about the harassment- one day I could not take it anymore - I had the police coming and they asked me if I am happy to start an official process which will result in criminal charge. I didn’t want to do that, I was feeling down - called her and I think she could sense it how much it affects me. She took it in her own hands and found the woman on popular social media and sent her a couple of respectful lines asking her to stop and mind the situation. That’s all. Edited June 20, 2021 by BiancaSW Link to post Share on other sites
gwaimui Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 Omg....the mental picture of an advent calendar full of dick pics instead of chocolate.....dead 🤣 But seriously, its concerning that given the seriousness of your situation (and it is, he proved he will not protect you, if she is unhinged and crazy, it could be dangerous for you and your child when she finds out its not a ploy to hold onto him like in Fatal Attraction) you are more focused on what he said and what she did than what you are to do now. You seem like a really kind and trusting person, and you did/do deserve better than this selfish creep. It doesn't matter what she does with him, he's a serial cheater who cares for nobody but himself, if she wants a man who keeps cheating (and face it, he will cheat regardless of who he's with) she can have him. You deserve better. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 20, 2021 Share Posted June 20, 2021 3 hours ago, stillafool said: So what pictures and videos is she talking about? I am guessing some other woman entirely was sending him saucy pics, and those were the ones the wife found. She just figured OP sent them without considering that this man might have well have had more than one OW on the go. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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