hurtandconfused12345 Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 Soni was with my ex for almost 2 years and at first everything was amazing. Recently we started having the talks of moving in together and he said he wasnt ready. To br honest i was pushing the topic then backed away. I thought we were fine but he was alwaus suoer stressed about things to do in his house, didnt get a job he wanted, felt like he wasnt pushing hard enough and hed put on weight. I tried to be there and offer support. I would do bits that i could and somethimes things were great other times not so much. He started saying things like hes not sure if he can give me what i want, or that he thinks things would he easier apart. I always felt he said this when he was feeling stressed about other stuff and taking it out on me. Anyway one day he said some hurtful stuff i brushed it under the rug but when i thought about it i thought this isnt fair i deserve more. I then went to see him after a few days apart but still texting and talking like usual. He greeted me with a hug and kiss etc. He said he was feeling much better about everything. I told him i didnt like what he had said . He apologised and said it was how hes feeling and he is unsure of us and our future. After a bit of talking i decided i was worth more and ended it. He was crying and said he does love me but he cant put his finger on it. I packed my stuff he cried the whole time and kept apologising. I was very calm and controled and said it was life. He kept hugging me and said he never ment to hurt me. I got all mu stuff and left. This was 12 days ago now and we havent spoken since. He deleted my photos from insta and added a few girls. He continues to watch all my stories as i post them. Ive been pretty okay over the past 12 days and have only cried a few times, gone to the gym, out with friends and have lost about a stone. I know the wightloss is extreem but i cant seem to eat. Today has been a bad day. I want more than anything for us to make it work but i know this needs to come from him as its his uncertainty. Logically i also know reaching out is pointless and just harms my own self respect as i am worth more. Does it all seem hopeless to you? Any advice or words of wisdom cos today i could just let the world swallow me whole Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 You are very wise not contacting him and just going on with your life. There is no way to tell the future. For me, I always try (notice I wrote "try" because sometimes it's hard to do!) to let the guy lead. IOW, not talk about moving in together or marriage. Let him suggest those things when he's ready to. There are women who propose marriage and it works out, too, though, so there's that. If a guy is on the fence about the R or even slower than his gf in progressing, I believe it's probable that it will push him away to advocate being exclusive (I realize you already were, this is just in general), moving in together or marrying. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 It sounds to me like this had been coming for a while. He feels guilty for hurting you, but for whatever reason, he doesn't have the right feelings to move this relationship forward. It's hard but I think with time and space away from him, you will see that this wasn't going to end the way you hoped. Out of curiosity, what were the hurting things he said to you? 9 hours ago, hurtandconfused12345 said: one day he said some hurtful stuff i brushed it under the rug but when i thought about it i thought this isnt fair i deserve more. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 Alas I think this is over. He wanted out for a while but struggled with how to break free. Take your lack of direct contact further & unfriend / unfollow him on social media. Grieve for the loss but let this go. In time you will heal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 You did the absolute right thing in ending it. He was saying a lot of things for a while that expressed that he wasn't into this relationship anymore and that he didn't see a future. However, he didn't have the guts to outright end it. You did. Good for you. There is no point in staying with someone who isn't excited about you, who has constant doubts about the relationship, who has one foot in and one foot out. And yes it's hard to really go through with it, but it's the right thing. I hope you don't cave in to the weakness and run back to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ReginaGeorge Posted June 17, 2021 Share Posted June 17, 2021 I'm sorry you're going through this. I too wish my ex and I would just be able to make it work and it's such a painful feeling knowing the reality. Some days are worse than others, but you have to fight those urges to contact him otherwise it will just hurt you more. <\3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 17, 2021 Share Posted June 17, 2021 I think you did the right thing by ending it too. Endings are sad and that is why he was crying plus he didn't mean to hurt you but said what had to be said. You'll be okay just give it time. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts