Anon85 Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 I've been in a relationship for 10 years now, and I want to end it. I don't know how. She loves me to bits, but i've lost it and truly believe no will never find a spark again. Ending it has been on my mind for several months. We live together obviously, and have a dog. She is essentially financially dependent on me. She works but its not enough to cover the cost of life. I know I need to rip of the plaster off and i know i'll be inviting weeks of heartache for all involved. I think I know what needs to happen, i just feel physically sick at the thought of it. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 That's tough. Obviously you need to do it and not just stay in this relationship out of pity for her. Since your finances are so intertwined and you live together, think of it more like a divorce. It's a process that takes time, she can't just leave at the drop of a hat. Give her notice and time to get a plan in place to move out. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 You can't support her forever but a little kindness will go a long way. Think strategically. When is the lease up? Can you time the break up around that to give her some time -- like 90 days -- to figure out her next move? Would you be willing to pay for a mover for her? Who get's the dog? When I had a similar issue, I said "I'd be willing to give you the dog but I don't think you can afford to take care of yourself let alone the dog & it's harder to find a place that let's you have dogs so I think it's best for the dog if I keep him." My then stbx agreed with the logic but appreciated the kindness that I was willing to part with the dog as a consolation prize for dumping the guy. The guy was better with the dog than I was -- walked him more etc. -- but he knew he couldn't handle the dog financially, wouldn't be able to pay for food & the vet bills etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 4 hours ago, Anon85 said: She is essentially financially dependent on me. She works but its not enough to cover the cost of life. You didn't state how long you two lived together and I don't know where you live, but you may want to look into whether or not you are "common law" married to this woman. Also she has established residency at this present location, which is a whole different "can of worms" depending on your local laws. If it were me, I'd help her find a place, move her and help her get set up financially in her new location. If she leaves voluntarily, it will be a lot easier for you. As a side note, are there any lease agreements that you have to be concerned with?? The dog is the least of your worries... Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 Have you met someone? Why after all this time, is she suddenly a burden? Link to post Share on other sites
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