Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 On 7/18/2021 at 5:03 AM, pepperbird2 said: OP, Whether or not this is all lies doesn't matter. It's his perception of reality, and I fully expect she eggs him on. DO NOT TRUST HIM!!!!!!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!! He does not have your best interests at heart, and as for all this nonsense about his? if, you love your kids, you don't act like he is. You don't put their mother's mental/physical/emotional health at risk. You suck it up, sit her down and tell her the truth, even it makes you the "bad guy". Thank you @pepperbird2 That is one thing I will say, while I do not like this Amanda nor do I know her I can only judge her based on my feelings towards my husband. She seems like a level headed woman. With those text messages that I read in him explaining to her all those things, she actually tried to be on "my side" with divulging details about her and how she was in her marriage. My husband has never wanted to be the bad guy in anything since I have known him. He will be silent before he is a bad person. Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 1 minute ago, husbandcheating said: Thank you @pepperbird2 That is one thing I will say, while I do not like this Amanda nor do I know her I can only judge her based on my feelings towards my husband. She seems like a level headed woman. With those text messages that I read in him explaining to her all those things, she actually tried to be on "my side" with divulging details about her and how she was in her marriage. My husband has never wanted to be the bad guy in anything since I have known him. He will be silent before he is a bad person. If Amanda “takes your side”, this implies to me that she does not consider you a threat or competitor. Think about it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Does he stay there that much? @Wiseman2 stay where? Here is at home more often than not. It is still mind boggling how he has found time to see her as he is always at home, and always home at night. Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 3 minutes ago, husbandcheating said: My husband has never wanted to be the bad guy in anything since I have known him. How do you explain him getting a new girlfriend while you were pregnant? Was that good-guy behavior? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, husbandcheating said: He will be silent before he is a bad person. Not withstanding the fact that he is having an extramarital affair and building a life with another woman. Edited July 25, 2021 by BaileyB 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 9 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: He’s good at compartmentalizing, as many cheaters are. Compartmentalizing is how it does not drive him insane. It’s really not uncommon. @RebeccaRThat is a lot of compartmentalizing. Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 Just now, husbandcheating said: It is still mind boggling how he has found time to see her And yet, despite being difficult, he has 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 Just now, husbandcheating said: @RebeccaRThat is a lot of compartmentalizing. I feel like you are deliberately avoiding the messages you are getting from everyone posting here. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 40 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: But he is unusually attached to his children and unlike most husbands, he doesn’t consider you a mother capable of raising them, which might be why he’s hesitant to leave you. Again, as others have asked, is there a particular reason he doesn’t trust you to raise the kids? @RebeccaRIt is not that he doesn't think I am not capable of raising them. My husband does not believe in boys being raised in a home without the father being present in the home. He thinks its an atrocity. While I am a great mother, there are things that I cannot provide them from the male perspective and that is really important to him. It always has been. From the moment we found out we were having a son (our first born) you could see and feel the change in him. Our boys is his life. So the reason is they are boys, and he does not believe in a mother raising boys on her own. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 1 minute ago, husbandcheating said: So the reason is they are boys, and he does not believe in a mother raising boys on her own. Joint custody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 34 minutes ago, BaileyB said: He apparently moved her into the house but did not put her name on the mortgage. That speaks to his commitment to the marriage and his respect of OP as a life partner. I honestly never saw this as a big deal. We don't have joint anything except for one bank account. We don't file taxes together, we don't have accounts together, bills are in his name. It has never been an issue for me. I figured when we finally did buy our forever home, we would be on their jointly just as we have recently discussed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 50 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: Oh my goodness - I would hazard to say most people who divorce do have children? also, wondering what was his rationale for starting to see another woman while you were pregnant? He “moved you into his house” at 7 months - was it not a joint decision, and why not sooner if you had both agreed to have the baby? Did he ever suggest you terminate while he was getting another girlfriend? It seems your whole marriage was one he didn’t even want. @RebeccaRIt was a joint decision once he brought it to my attention. My husband and I may have not the perfect love story but it has been ours. From the moment we were a couple again, he always told me if I last, we would get married. Then of course we had an unplanned pregnancy, he still remained true to that fact. Yes when our first born was a baby, there was someone I found out about and that didn't last. We married and we have been committed since. I never pressed the issue of marriage, so how is it one that he did not want? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 3 minutes ago, husbandcheating said: I figured when we finally did buy our forever home, we would be on their jointly just as we have recently discussed. How many years have you been married to the man? I will say, it was an absolute dealbreaker for me when I moved in with my partner/husband. I was not living in a home that did not have my name on the title. We have a contract that spells out what will happen in the event of divorce or death - such that we will be be protected financially. You are relying on goodwill without these protections, and that’s not a place you want to be in the event of divorce particularly… 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 OP - you have been posting continuously now for hours - what is your family doing during this “family” vacation? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 3 minutes ago, husbandcheating said: Yes when our first born was a baby, there was someone I found out about and that didn't last. Timeline: he dated someone else while you were pregnant with your first child Baby was born. Then he cheated with someone else. Eight years later he starts seeing Amanda. Is that commitment? It sounds like he’s just a serial cheater. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: I’m curious, why are you posting when you are on vacation and enjoying time with your family? Why are you spending hours going back over old posts to argue with strangers in the internet? @BaileyB my husband is with our sons on the boat, my other family is at the farmers market, I had stayed back Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 8 minutes ago, BaileyB said: How many years have you been married to the man? I will say, it was an absolute dealbreaker for me when I moved in with my partner/husband. I was not living in a home that did not have my name on the title. We have a contract that spells out what will happen in the event of divorce or death - such that we will be be protected financially. You are relying on goodwill without these protections, and that’s not a place you want to be in the event of divorce particularly… @BaileyB14 years..we do have provisions in place but nothing with property, that just wasn't important to me especially when we married at our young age. The only thing I was concerned with was marrying the man that I had loved since 12. Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 1 minute ago, husbandcheating said: we do have provisions in place but nothing with property, that just wasn't important to me especially when we married at our young age I assume you mean life insurance. Do you inherit the house if something happens to him? Is there enough life insurance? So many questions Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 9 minutes ago, BaileyB said: OP - you have been posting continuously now for hours - what is your family doing during this “family” vacation? @BaileyBMy husband and sons are on the boat fishing doing "boy" things.. 7 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: Timeline: he dated someone else while you were pregnant with your first child Baby was born. Then he cheated with someone else. Eight years later he starts seeing Amanda. Is that commitment? It sounds like he’s just a serial cheater. @RebeccaR We didn't spell out our commitment at that young age. Honestly speaking, I was just happy he wanted to date me again after we had split years prior. We had remained friends and he had girlfriends after me. I was happy the last one before me didn't work out and he wanted to date me. I remember the day like it was yesterday -he told me I had a good head on my shoulder even though young and I wasn't like the other girls. That he loved me and glad we remained friends all those years and wanted to date again so we did. But we weren't committed, I wasn't seeing anyone else but you understand. We were "dating". We became pregnant, it was a shock, but we rode it out and we ended up together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 2 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: I assume you mean life insurance. Do you inherit the house if something happens to him? Is there enough life insurance? So many questions I do not inherit the house if something happens to him, it will go to our son. His mother and himself are on the house. My husband is very fiscally responsible, he has a lot of provisions in place. I have no doubt that everyone would be taken care of even extended family. He is quite ok. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 4 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: I assume you mean life insurance. Do you inherit the house if something happens to him? Is there enough life insurance? So many questions @RebeccaR certain words I remember text messages "life insurance" I remember seeing a text from Amanda and him discussing life insurance, they were discussing life insurance, taxes, they talk about money a lot, not in a together sense, but they discuss their personal finances a great deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 28 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Joint custody. @BaileyBIf we were to divorce absolutely to me. My husband would never not be in the same home as our boys, everyday. Ever. Our whole family knows that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 34 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: I feel like you are deliberately avoiding the messages you are getting from everyone posting here. @RebeccaR I do not think so. I am trying to respond to everyone and address questions as I do like to read everyones assessment and advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 37 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Not withstanding the fact that he is having an extramarital affair and building a life with another woman. @BaileyBI am not saying he isnt a bad person, well his actions are in very poor taste. I still don't understand why he would do this. I just dont see him "building a life" with a woman he won't even communicate with. I dont see him "building a life" with a woman that he can't spend our holidays with or bring around family. That really isn't a life well built to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author husbandcheating Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 (edited) 41 minutes ago, RebeccaR said: How do you explain him getting a new girlfriend while you were pregnant? Was that good-guy behavior? @RebeccaR I do not think that is good guy behavior and we werent fully committed. Again he has made very poor decisions but when he decided to marry me, all those things went out the window. Edited July 25, 2021 by husbandcheating Link to post Share on other sites
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